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What does your answering machiene say?

Started by LottomagicZ4941 · · Last activity · 22 posts · 2,423 views

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01 / Original postWhat does your answering machiene say?LottomagicZ4941 · 23 Feb 2005 02 / This pagePosts 1–20Page 1 of 2 · chronological order 03 / Latest replyPost #22CrankyThunder · 26 Nov 2015

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Bike Cafe
Published
23 February 2005
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26 November 2015
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LottomagicZ4941
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  1. Original post
    LottomagicZ4941
    Archived post
    #1

    What does your answering machiene say?



    My sister's message is "If you can pronounce our name leave a message. If you can't don't bother"

    The below is from com4.runboard.combsoapinup.fletschat.t91

    Great Answering Machine Messages
    These are supposedly actual answering machine announcements.

    1. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

    2. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message.

    3. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.

    4. Hi. Now you say something.

    5. Hi, I'm not home right now, but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.

    6. Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?

    7. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a "sexy" message, I'll call sooner!

    8. Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message and then wait by your phone until I call you back.

    9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.

    10. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number and your reason for calling, and I'll think about returning your call.

    11. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

    12. If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's safe to leave a message. "

    So what does your answering machiene say?

    Lotto
    flalottomagic.nets.cgi
    MagicZ4941A

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  2. artmichalek
    Archived post
    #2

    Mine doesn't say anything. People who know me know who they dialed. I do occasionally get five minute long voice mails from people who had the wrong number.

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  3. gpriatko
    Archived post
    #3

    ... but I liked it a lot

    Quoted post said:

    Hello, Gordon's not home right now and this is not an answering machine; this is a questioning machine.
    Today's questions are "Who are you" and "What do you want".

    These may sound like very simply questions but many people live their whole lives without ever having an answer.

    If you have an answer that you'd like to share with us, please leave it after the beep.

    Most people burst out laughing, then paused for a second or two, and then left some very interesting answers.

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  4. RC2
    Archived post
    #4

    Mine says: "If your post has nothing to do with cycling, please do not leave a message."

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  5. gpriatko
    Archived post
    #5
    RC2 said:

    Mine says: "If your post has nothing to do with cycling, please do not leave a message."


    RC2 said:


    22-11.-2004, 10:23 AM
    Re: Who wants a HUG???????!!!
    Where I live we have lots of interesting wild life entering the back yard (I've seen tarantulas, 1 rattlesnake, bobcats, coyote, all sorts of mice, jack rabbits, and a ton of rabbits, yes even babies). Funny thing this weekend, for the first time I saw a bunny fight. Two of the bigger rabbits were eating grass, and all of a sudden one ran over and kind of kicked at the other. It was a fast violent kick. The attackee wasn't facing the first rabbit and it got nailed pretty good. Went sprawling like five feet. He then took off and jumped over our fence (a stucco wall ~3.5' high). Crazy!

    The moral to the story: just because they look soft and cuddly, don't trust 'em!

    pot _> kettle(black) ; // invoked from USENET

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  6. nick burns
    Archived post
    #6

    Believe it or not, nick isn't at home.
    Please leave a message at the beep.
    I must be out, or I'd pick up the phone.
    Where could I be?
    Believe it or not, I'm not home.
    😄

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  7. RC2
    Archived post
    #7
    gpriatko said:

    pot _> kettle(black)


    no...(OK you kinda got me there!)...I was really referring to all the threads that get started in this cycling forum that don't have much at all to do w/the great sport of cycling. Repsonding to one of them is TOTALLY different, TOTALLY different.

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  8. Telegram Sam
    Archived post
    #8

    Mine says that I have outfitted my Winnebago with all the proper armour, and I am touring sunny Faluja (sp.)...

    Last one was that I had been drafted

    sarcasm is all we have now that the "real" fighting has been over two years hahaha

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  9. tchak attack
    Archived post
    #9

    We all know how theese things work, so just do it after the tone...beeeeeeep!

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  10. ganderctr
    Archived post
    #10

    At home: Nobody is available to take your call right now. Please leave a message at the beep.

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  11. JSWin
    Archived post
    #11

    Lol I love it that is so funny. I just use the standard message. I like yours what a good idea. Some people have some really entertaining messages on their answering machine or voicemail.

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  12. Damien Lee
    Archived post
    #12

    Answering machines are so 1990's, I would even go as far as saying that they're 1980's. I bough my first cellphone in the mid-90's and already had access to voicemail. Therefore, never had to rely on an answering machine for either my personal or business needs. I was already online by the late 90's, where most communications were done through email. Nowadays, I just use Skype and social media to keep in touch with folks.

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  13. oportosanto
    Archived post
    #13
    RC2 said:

    Mine says: "If your post has nothing to do with cycling, please do not leave a message."


    Haha, could be, could be. Actually I don't have anything on my answering machine because I don't like to listen to messages. If someone cannot reach me at a certain point they can always text.

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  14. Susimi
    Archived post
    #14

    I just have the standard message from my voicemail service.

    Although it would be pretty funny to have it change during the hours of the day. Early in the morning "It's too early to talk, bugger off!", and a similar thing come late in the evening. Not sure how well people trying to contact me would take it though.

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  15. emilyhutchinson0922
    Archived post
    #15

    A lot of those were really funny! Mine doesn't have any greeting it just tells you the number you called and asks if you want to leave a message. I think the best voicemail greetings are the ones that say "hey" as if you were actually talking to the persona nd they pause and wait for you to respond, so you start talking to them only to find out it is a greeting! Classic. Gets me every time.

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  16. likeascroll
    Archived post
    #16

    I love the list. Mine is always very simple, or I just leave it to an automated message.

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  17. mpre53
    Archived post
    #17
    Damien Lee said:

    Answering machines are so 1990's, I would even go as far as saying that they're 1980's. I bough my first cellphone in the mid-90's and already had access to voicemail. Therefore, never had to rely on an answering machine for either my personal or business needs. I was already online by the late 90's, where most communications were done through email. Nowadays, I just use Skype and social media to keep in touch with folks.


    They were even 2005. They died then, along with this thread, until our resident crypt keeper decided to resurrect it. 🙄

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  18. Keyan
    Archived post
    #18

    I have recorded one early in the morning with my bedroom voice hey that is the only time of the day that is so quiet. Some people calling thought it was not appropriate to hear my greeting and so I just deleted it and just used the default greeting.

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  19. CrankyThunder
    Archived post
    #19

    Mine is the usual, "cant take your call right now......" And then I wrap it up with "Please remember that you are being recorded so watch the four letter words".

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  20. goldenmaine
    Archived post
    #20

    Mine would say, "Hi, this is me. How can I help you? *five second pause* Got you! *insulting laughter* I'm not home right now, please leave a message." Might [censored] a lot of people, but it's a great prank for an answering machine. 😄

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