http://www.stolenunderground2.com/decanio___
MARCH 14TH 2005
The Dove
Yesterday I woke up feeling destroyed. I mean really down in the dumps
like The Dude from the The Big Labowski. I didn't have Walter there to
talk about Vietnam or to take me bowling. I pretty much had just myself
and the computer to get my message across.
I went into my kitchen to look out of the window. I have some trees
that block my view from the neighboring buildings. There is an open
branch there and as I was staring out the window blankly a Dove landed
on the branch and looked right into my eyes.
This wasn't a normal Dove that I have seen anywhere else in Miami in the
last 7 months. I have never seen a bird like this one in Miami, it
looked so peaceful and together unlike my life. As a matter of fact I
have never seen a bird sitting on that branch. As the bird sat there
looking into my eyes for a few seconds I thought, "I feel like God is
checking up on me through this bird." One of his creations has stopped
by to check in on me and then fly away. I desperately wanted this bird
to stay on the branch once I realized what was happening, or what
I perceived was happening.
I felt the touch of God. I always remember American Indians having
experiences like this in movies or on television and I felt like the
same situation had just happen to me. Instead of a Crow it was a Dove.
I haven't felt this touch since I was driving through the desert last
year getting out of Los Angeles totally destroyed and fleeing for my
life to get away from the drugs. That night in the peak of my
desperation a shooting star flew right across the sky in front of me. I
felt the touch then and I felt that same touch yesterday with the Dove.
Today I am going to go out and try and find a new job. My current job
is absolutely horrible. I have such a respect for those who are forced
into jobs such as working stock for their entire life. I can't do it, I
am going insane in there. I also have to try and get in touch with a
lawyer to hear my story to see if I can build a case against the USOC
and USA Cycling.
I think this is what is needed to make a change in the Olympic Games and
sports as a whole. I must do this to help the current generation so
they don't end up like Generation 95. Never in a million years as an 18
year old did I think my friends and I would be in such a position. It
all starts falling apart under you and you have no support, you only
have your supporters secretly supporting drug abuse and pushing you
towards it. It needs to be a number one priority to have anti doping
athletes in the Olympic Training Center.
-Matt