They Shoved It Up My ASS!!

David Cohen said:

The colonic irrigation nozzle, that is. In keeping with my diet and exercise
experiments of late, including Lyle's PSMF, blood tests, ultrasound tests,
etcetera, I decided to try a colonic irrigation. Only $65 and an hour of my
time, so, what the hell.

First, the essential assumption of colonic irrigation is that there is hard,
crusted on, plaque like, [censored] stuck to the inside of the large intestine. If
true, it really doesn't say anything about the harmful nature of such build
up, but, common sense would lead one to conclude it can't be a good thing.

Second, I am an expert on the contents of various portions of the
intestines. I have been dealing with ostomies in patients for many years.
Jejunostomies, ileostomies, colonostomies at various portions of the colon.
Each section has characteristics associated with the waste material,
especially differences in consistency.

Third, I am a super doopery expert on the contents of my own intestines.
Since being on this diet for two months, I have only one bowel movement a
week, and that is assisted by Milk of Magnesia (a saline laxative) and
Dulcolax (a stimulent laxative). I know what can be induced to come out with
fiber, stool softeners, and laxatives.

Fourth, the machinery used in colonic irrigation uses transparent plumbing,
so I can see what's coming out. If there's something up there, that would
not otherwise come out, but is, I'd know it.

All that said, a pleasant young lady inserted the irrigation tubing (well
lubricated, not too uncomfortable) and began an hour of in and out, with
abdominal massaging, and foot massaging to "relax the colon" (whatever, felt
good).

And, I'll be damned! There was stuff up there that I didn't realize. The
first few in and out cycles didn't flush much out, but, each successive fill
got further and further up there, and each softened whetever "build up"
might be there. After a few cycles, a lot...A LOT...of pea to marble sized
hard black [censored] began coming out. Where the HELL did that [censored] come from? It
was of a consistency that NEVER came out my ass before, despite bowel
cleansing procedures with fibers and laxatives. Additionally, it was FAR
harder than fecal material normally associated with anything but the very
distal end of the large intestine.

The only conclusion was that this was the claimed plaque like build up on
the walls of my large intestine.

So, it was a success. My weight, after fully emptying any residual liquid
from my intestines, was 2 pounds less. Two pounds of old stuck [censored]. Not
bad. I may do it again in a few months.

Next time y'll want to tell me to "shove it up my ass", I may take the
suggestion.

Yuck-O!

Next you'll be ear-candelling.

So, do you feel better/different now, not counting the silly grin on
your face?

- bc

David Cohen said:

The colonic irrigation nozzle, that is. In keeping with my diet and exercise
experiments of late, including Lyle's PSMF, blood tests, ultrasound tests,
etcetera, I decided to try a colonic irrigation. Only $65 and an hour of my
time, so, what the hell.

First, the essential assumption of colonic irrigation is that there is hard,
crusted on, plaque like, [censored] stuck to the inside of the large intestine. If
true, it really doesn't say anything about the harmful nature of such build
up, but, common sense would lead one to conclude it can't be a good thing.

Second, I am an expert on the contents of various portions of the
intestines. I have been dealing with ostomies in patients for many years.
Jejunostomies, ileostomies, colonostomies at various portions of the colon.
Each section has characteristics associated with the waste material,
especially differences in consistency.

Third, I am a super doopery expert on the contents of my own intestines.
Since being on this diet for two months, I have only one bowel movement a
week, and that is assisted by Milk of Magnesia (a saline laxative) and
Dulcolax (a stimulent laxative). I know what can be induced to come out with
fiber, stool softeners, and laxatives.

Fourth, the machinery used in colonic irrigation uses transparent plumbing,
so I can see what's coming out. If there's something up there, that would
not otherwise come out, but is, I'd know it.

All that said, a pleasant young lady inserted the irrigation tubing (well
lubricated, not too uncomfortable) and began an hour of in and out, with
abdominal massaging, and foot massaging to "relax the colon" (whatever, felt
good).

And, I'll be damned! There was stuff up there that I didn't realize. The
first few in and out cycles didn't flush much out, but, each successive fill
got further and further up there, and each softened whetever "build up"
might be there. After a few cycles, a lot...A LOT...of pea to marble sized
hard black [censored] began coming out. Where the HELL did that [censored] come from? It
was of a consistency that NEVER came out my ass before, despite bowel
cleansing procedures with fibers and laxatives. Additionally, it was FAR
harder than fecal material normally associated with anything but the very
distal end of the large intestine.

The only conclusion was that this was the claimed plaque like build up on
the walls of my large intestine.

So, it was a success. My weight, after fully emptying any residual liquid
from my intestines, was 2 pounds less. Two pounds of old stuck [censored]. Not
bad. I may do it again in a few months.

Next time y'll want to tell me to "shove it up my ass", I may take the
suggestion.

Yuck-O!

Next you'll be ear-candelling.

So, do you feel better/different now, not counting the silly grin on
your face?

- bc

"bc" <[email hidden]> wrote

Quoted message said:

David Cohen said:

The colonic irrigation nozzle, that is. In keeping with my diet and
exercise
experiments of late, including Lyle's PSMF, blood tests, ultrasound
tests,
etcetera, I decided to try a colonic irrigation. Only $65 and an hour of
my
time, so, what the hell.

First, the essential assumption of colonic irrigation is that there is
hard,
crusted on, plaque like, [censored] stuck to the inside of the large intestine.
If
true, it really doesn't say anything about the harmful nature of such
build
up, but, common sense would lead one to conclude it can't be a good
thing.

Second, I am an expert on the contents of various portions of the
intestines. I have been dealing with ostomies in patients for many years.
Jejunostomies, ileostomies, colonostomies at various portions of the
colon.
Each section has characteristics associated with the waste material,
especially differences in consistency.

Third, I am a super doopery expert on the contents of my own intestines.
Since being on this diet for two months, I have only one bowel movement a
week, and that is assisted by Milk of Magnesia (a saline laxative) and
Dulcolax (a stimulent laxative). I know what can be induced to come out
with
fiber, stool softeners, and laxatives.

Fourth, the machinery used in colonic irrigation uses transparent
plumbing,
so I can see what's coming out. If there's something up there, that would
not otherwise come out, but is, I'd know it.

All that said, a pleasant young lady inserted the irrigation tubing (well
lubricated, not too uncomfortable) and began an hour of in and out, with
abdominal massaging, and foot massaging to "relax the colon" (whatever,
felt
good).

And, I'll be damned! There was stuff up there that I didn't realize. The
first few in and out cycles didn't flush much out, but, each successive
fill
got further and further up there, and each softened whetever "build up"
might be there. After a few cycles, a lot...A LOT...of pea to marble
sized
hard black [censored] began coming out. Where the HELL did that [censored] come from?
It
was of a consistency that NEVER came out my ass before, despite bowel
cleansing procedures with fibers and laxatives. Additionally, it was FAR
harder than fecal material normally associated with anything but the very
distal end of the large intestine.

The only conclusion was that this was the claimed plaque like build up on
the walls of my large intestine.

So, it was a success. My weight, after fully emptying any residual liquid
from my intestines, was 2 pounds less. Two pounds of old stuck [censored]. Not
bad. I may do it again in a few months.

Next time y'll want to tell me to "shove it up my ass", I may take the
suggestion.

Yuck-O!

Oh, hell, I'm a former paramedic and long time pediatric nurse. [censored] ain't
[censored]. I've had people's brains dripping on my freakin' shoes.

Quoted message said:

Next you'll be ear-candelling.

Ooo, good idea 🙂

Quoted message said:

So, do you feel better/different now, not counting the silly grin on
your face?

No, but I wouldn't expect to feel much different. The bowel cleanse feeling
is similar to the weekly laxative flush. Any beneficial effects from the
removal of hard crusty [censored] would probably be subtle and long term.

So, when you gonna' try it?

David

"bc" <[email hidden]> wrote

Quoted message said:

David Cohen said:

The colonic irrigation nozzle, that is. In keeping with my diet and
exercise
experiments of late, including Lyle's PSMF, blood tests, ultrasound
tests,
etcetera, I decided to try a colonic irrigation. Only $65 and an hour of
my
time, so, what the hell.

First, the essential assumption of colonic irrigation is that there is
hard,
crusted on, plaque like, [censored] stuck to the inside of the large intestine.
If
true, it really doesn't say anything about the harmful nature of such
build
up, but, common sense would lead one to conclude it can't be a good
thing.

Second, I am an expert on the contents of various portions of the
intestines. I have been dealing with ostomies in patients for many years.
Jejunostomies, ileostomies, colonostomies at various portions of the
colon.
Each section has characteristics associated with the waste material,
especially differences in consistency.

Third, I am a super doopery expert on the contents of my own intestines.
Since being on this diet for two months, I have only one bowel movement a
week, and that is assisted by Milk of Magnesia (a saline laxative) and
Dulcolax (a stimulent laxative). I know what can be induced to come out
with
fiber, stool softeners, and laxatives.

Fourth, the machinery used in colonic irrigation uses transparent
plumbing,
so I can see what's coming out. If there's something up there, that would
not otherwise come out, but is, I'd know it.

All that said, a pleasant young lady inserted the irrigation tubing (well
lubricated, not too uncomfortable) and began an hour of in and out, with
abdominal massaging, and foot massaging to "relax the colon" (whatever,
felt
good).

And, I'll be damned! There was stuff up there that I didn't realize. The
first few in and out cycles didn't flush much out, but, each successive
fill
got further and further up there, and each softened whetever "build up"
might be there. After a few cycles, a lot...A LOT...of pea to marble
sized
hard black [censored] began coming out. Where the HELL did that [censored] come from?
It
was of a consistency that NEVER came out my ass before, despite bowel
cleansing procedures with fibers and laxatives. Additionally, it was FAR
harder than fecal material normally associated with anything but the very
distal end of the large intestine.

The only conclusion was that this was the claimed plaque like build up on
the walls of my large intestine.

So, it was a success. My weight, after fully emptying any residual liquid
from my intestines, was 2 pounds less. Two pounds of old stuck [censored]. Not
bad. I may do it again in a few months.

Next time y'll want to tell me to "shove it up my ass", I may take the
suggestion.

Yuck-O!

Oh, hell, I'm a former paramedic and long time pediatric nurse. [censored] ain't
[censored]. I've had people's brains dripping on my freakin' shoes.

Quoted message said:

Next you'll be ear-candelling.

Ooo, good idea 🙂

Quoted message said:

So, do you feel better/different now, not counting the silly grin on
your face?

No, but I wouldn't expect to feel much different. The bowel cleanse feeling
is similar to the weekly laxative flush. Any beneficial effects from the
removal of hard crusty [censored] would probably be subtle and long term.

So, when you gonna' try it?

David

"David Cohen" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

The colonic irrigation nozzle, that is. In keeping with my diet and
exercise experiments of late, including Lyle's PSMF, blood tests,
ultrasound tests, etcetera, I decided to try a colonic irrigation. Only
$65 and an hour of my time, so, what the hell.

First, the essential assumption of colonic irrigation is that there is
hard, crusted on, plaque like, [censored] stuck to the inside of the large
intestine. If true, it really doesn't say anything about the harmful
nature of such build up, but, common sense would lead one to conclude it
can't be a good thing.

Second, I am an expert on the contents of various portions of the
intestines. I have been dealing with ostomies in patients for many years.
Jejunostomies, ileostomies, colonostomies at various portions of the
colon. Each section has characteristics associated with the waste
material, especially differences in consistency.

Third, I am a super doopery expert on the contents of my own intestines.
Since being on this diet for two months, I have only one bowel movement a
week, and that is assisted by Milk of Magnesia (a saline laxative) and
Dulcolax (a stimulent laxative). I know what can be induced to come out
with fiber, stool softeners, and laxatives.

Fourth, the machinery used in colonic irrigation uses transparent
plumbing, so I can see what's coming out. If there's something up there,
that would not otherwise come out, but is, I'd know it.

All that said, a pleasant young lady inserted the irrigation tubing (well
lubricated, not too uncomfortable) and began an hour of in and out, with
abdominal massaging, and foot massaging to "relax the colon" (whatever,
felt good).

And, I'll be damned! There was stuff up there that I didn't realize. The
first few in and out cycles didn't flush much out, but, each successive
fill got further and further up there, and each softened whetever "build
up" might be there. After a few cycles, a lot...A LOT...of pea to marble
sized hard black [censored] began coming out. Where the HELL did that [censored] come
from? It was of a consistency that NEVER came out my ass before, despite
bowel cleansing procedures with fibers and laxatives. Additionally, it was
FAR harder than fecal material normally associated with anything but the
very distal end of the large intestine.

The only conclusion was that this was the claimed plaque like build up on
the walls of my large intestine.

So, it was a success. My weight, after fully emptying any residual liquid
from my intestines, was 2 pounds less. Two pounds of old stuck [censored]. Not
bad. I may do it again in a few months.

Next time y'll want to tell me to "shove it up my ass", I may take the
suggestion.

Be careful there David.

You may develop erotic feeling for transparent tubing!!

David Cohen said:

The colonic irrigation nozzle, that is. In keeping with my diet and exercise
experiments of late, including Lyle's PSMF, blood tests, ultrasound tests,
etcetera, I decided to try a colonic irrigation. Only $65 and an hour of my
time, so, what the hell.

<snipped surprisingly sexy story about [censored]>

That was a great story, David. It makes the previously unthinkable be
actually worth considering. (Anything to lose 2 pounds!)

And now you get to win every argument because no one can claim you're
full of [censored]. :-)

Dally

"Dally" <[email hidden]> wrote

Quoted message said:

David Cohen said:

The colonic irrigation nozzle, that is. In keeping with my diet and
exercise experiments of late, including Lyle's PSMF, blood tests,
ultrasound tests, etcetera, I decided to try a colonic irrigation. Only
$65 and an hour of my time, so, what the hell.

<snipped surprisingly sexy story about [censored]>

Kinky housewife.

Quoted message said:

That was a great story, David. It makes the previously unthinkable be
actually worth considering. (Anything to lose 2 pounds!)

Bleeding heart guilt ridden liberals have the potential for losing FAR more
weight with colonic irrigation.

Quoted message said:

And now you get to win every argument because no one can claim you're full
of [censored]. :-)

Exactly.

David

Steve Freides said:

"David Cohen" <[email hidden]> wrote

-snip- (or should that be -flush-)

Quoted message said:

Since being on this diet for two months, I have only one bowel
movement a week ...

I cannot imagine this didn't make you uncomfortable. Before the current
diet, were you more "regular?"

if i only have 1 a day, i'm concerned. the first solution
i would look at wouldn't be the irrigation scam tho.
i would just eat more fibre (sol and unsol), do some
rythmic exercise and drink extra water. in fact, that's
what i do.
....thehick

Steve Freides said:

"David Cohen" <[email hidden]> wrote

-snip- (or should that be -flush-)

Quoted message said:

Since being on this diet for two months, I have only one bowel
movement a week ...

I cannot imagine this didn't make you uncomfortable. Before the current
diet, were you more "regular?"

if i only have 1 a day, i'm concerned. the first solution
i would look at wouldn't be the irrigation scam tho.
i would just eat more fibre (sol and unsol), do some
rythmic exercise and drink extra water. in fact, that's
what i do.
....thehick

"OmManiPadmeOmelet" <[email hidden]> wrote

Quoted message said:

We told you once per week BM's was not healthy...

And your evidence for unhealthiness is what, exactly?

Quoted message said:

For pity sakes Cohen! Just go buy a bottle of Twinlabs Magnesium
capsules! Take 800 to 1,200 mg. per day and you will NEVER be
constipated again!

Maybe I enjoy it?

Quoted message said:

You are a nurse.

OK, you have me there. I am.

Quoted message said:

You KNEW it was not healthy!!!

I know no such thing. Please explain the basis for the unhealthfulness of
once a week bowel movement for someone on a low residue short term modified
fast.

Quoted message said:

Cheers!

Poopies.

David

"OmManiPadmeOmelet" <[email hidden]> wrote

Quoted message said:

We told you once per week BM's was not healthy...

And your evidence for unhealthiness is what, exactly?

Quoted message said:

For pity sakes Cohen! Just go buy a bottle of Twinlabs Magnesium
capsules! Take 800 to 1,200 mg. per day and you will NEVER be
constipated again!

Maybe I enjoy it?

Quoted message said:

You are a nurse.

OK, you have me there. I am.

Quoted message said:

You KNEW it was not healthy!!!

I know no such thing. Please explain the basis for the unhealthfulness of
once a week bowel movement for someone on a low residue short term modified
fast.

Quoted message said:

Cheers!

Poopies.

David

"Joe Humble" <[email hidden]> wrote

Quoted message said:

David Cohen said:

The colonic irrigation nozzle, that is. In keeping with my diet and
exercise
experiments of late, including Lyle's PSMF, blood tests, ultrasound tests,
etcetera, I decided to try a colonic irrigation. Only $65 and an hour of
my
time, so, what the hell.

First, the essential assumption of colonic irrigation is that there is
hard,
crusted on, plaque like, [censored] stuck to the inside of the large intestine.
If
true, it really doesn't say anything about the harmful nature of such
build
up, but, common sense would lead one to conclude it can't be a good thing.

Second, I am an expert on the contents of various portions of the
intestines. I have been dealing with ostomies in patients for many years.
Jejunostomies, ileostomies, colonostomies at various portions of the
colon.
Each section has characteristics associated with the waste material,
especially differences in consistency.

did you ever notice whether people have anything stuck to the inside
of their colon? I've seen an autopsy or two of some very aged people
including their intestines and I didn't notice anything stuck in
there. but for all I know they were pre-cleaned.

I've never noticed. Probably wasn't really looking too hard.

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Third, I am a super doopery expert on the contents of my own intestines.
Since being on this diet for two months, I have only one bowel movement a
week, and that is assisted by Milk of Magnesia (a saline laxative) and
Dulcolax (a stimulent laxative). I know what can be induced to come out
with
fiber, stool softeners, and laxatives.

this is about one step away from scat, are you aware of that?

Yup. Kinky, huh?

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Fourth, the machinery used in colonic irrigation uses transparent
plumbing,
so I can see what's coming out. If there's something up there, that would
not otherwise come out, but is, I'd know it.

perhaps yes and perhaps no, grasshopper.

Perhaps.

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

All that said, a pleasant young lady inserted the irrigation tubing (well
lubricated, not too uncomfortable) and began an hour of in and out, with
abdominal massaging, and foot massaging to "relax the colon" (whatever,
felt
good).

And, I'll be damned! There was stuff up there that I didn't realize. The
first few in and out cycles didn't flush much out, but, each successive
fill
got further and further up there, and each softened whetever "build up"
might be there. After a few cycles, a lot...A LOT...of pea to marble sized
hard black [censored] began coming out. Where the HELL did that [censored] come from?
It
was of a consistency that NEVER came out my ass before, despite bowel
cleansing procedures with fibers and laxatives. Additionally, it was FAR
harder than fecal material normally associated with anything but the very
distal end of the large intestine.

just some comments here:

How in the heck do you know that they were hard?

They sort of bounced around on their way down the pipes without leaving any
smooshing or deforming.

Quoted message said:

also how do you know that isn't simply what happens when you dissolve
fecal matter in water?

Huh? When you dissolve fecal matter in water, it gets softer and liquidy.
Look down in the bowl, ferchrissakes.

Quoted message said:

You know I'm not even sure I want the answer to these.

Oh, yes, you do, you kinky SOB.

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

The only conclusion was that this was the claimed plaque like build up on
the walls of my large intestine.

or maybe that is just what they look like when you dissolve a bowel
movement that is not in the lowermost portion of the colon.

No. Like I said, I know what fecal material from various portions of both
the small and large intestines looks loke, smells like, even occasionally
feels like (damned thin latex gloves and my big manly hands).

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

So, it was a success. My weight, after fully emptying any residual liquid
from my intestines, was 2 pounds less. Two pounds of old stuck [censored]. Not
bad. I may do it again in a few months.

the weight loss would seem legit because osmosis would tend to shuttle
the water in the other direction. however is this just the equivalent
of taking a really big dump?

Nope. What came out was very different than anything that ever came out
before (I pay attention to my bowl contents), and was inconsistent with the
consistency of fecal material from any portion of the colon, except the very
distal part.

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Next time y'll want to tell me to "shove it up my ass", I may take the
suggestion.

I look forward to detailed scatological discussions in the future.

I knew that.

David

"Joe Humble" <[email hidden]> wrote

Quoted message said:

David Cohen said:

The colonic irrigation nozzle, that is. In keeping with my diet and
exercise
experiments of late, including Lyle's PSMF, blood tests, ultrasound tests,
etcetera, I decided to try a colonic irrigation. Only $65 and an hour of
my
time, so, what the hell.

First, the essential assumption of colonic irrigation is that there is
hard,
crusted on, plaque like, [censored] stuck to the inside of the large intestine.
If
true, it really doesn't say anything about the harmful nature of such
build
up, but, common sense would lead one to conclude it can't be a good thing.

Second, I am an expert on the contents of various portions of the
intestines. I have been dealing with ostomies in patients for many years.
Jejunostomies, ileostomies, colonostomies at various portions of the
colon.
Each section has characteristics associated with the waste material,
especially differences in consistency.

did you ever notice whether people have anything stuck to the inside
of their colon? I've seen an autopsy or two of some very aged people
including their intestines and I didn't notice anything stuck in
there. but for all I know they were pre-cleaned.

I've never noticed. Probably wasn't really looking too hard.

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Third, I am a super doopery expert on the contents of my own intestines.
Since being on this diet for two months, I have only one bowel movement a
week, and that is assisted by Milk of Magnesia (a saline laxative) and
Dulcolax (a stimulent laxative). I know what can be induced to come out
with
fiber, stool softeners, and laxatives.

this is about one step away from scat, are you aware of that?

Yup. Kinky, huh?

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Fourth, the machinery used in colonic irrigation uses transparent
plumbing,
so I can see what's coming out. If there's something up there, that would
not otherwise come out, but is, I'd know it.

perhaps yes and perhaps no, grasshopper.

Perhaps.

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

All that said, a pleasant young lady inserted the irrigation tubing (well
lubricated, not too uncomfortable) and began an hour of in and out, with
abdominal massaging, and foot massaging to "relax the colon" (whatever,
felt
good).

And, I'll be damned! There was stuff up there that I didn't realize. The
first few in and out cycles didn't flush much out, but, each successive
fill
got further and further up there, and each softened whetever "build up"
might be there. After a few cycles, a lot...A LOT...of pea to marble sized
hard black [censored] began coming out. Where the HELL did that [censored] come from?
It
was of a consistency that NEVER came out my ass before, despite bowel
cleansing procedures with fibers and laxatives. Additionally, it was FAR
harder than fecal material normally associated with anything but the very
distal end of the large intestine.

just some comments here:

How in the heck do you know that they were hard?

They sort of bounced around on their way down the pipes without leaving any
smooshing or deforming.

Quoted message said:

also how do you know that isn't simply what happens when you dissolve
fecal matter in water?

Huh? When you dissolve fecal matter in water, it gets softer and liquidy.
Look down in the bowl, ferchrissakes.

Quoted message said:

You know I'm not even sure I want the answer to these.

Oh, yes, you do, you kinky SOB.

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

The only conclusion was that this was the claimed plaque like build up on
the walls of my large intestine.

or maybe that is just what they look like when you dissolve a bowel
movement that is not in the lowermost portion of the colon.

No. Like I said, I know what fecal material from various portions of both
the small and large intestines looks loke, smells like, even occasionally
feels like (damned thin latex gloves and my big manly hands).

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

So, it was a success. My weight, after fully emptying any residual liquid
from my intestines, was 2 pounds less. Two pounds of old stuck [censored]. Not
bad. I may do it again in a few months.

the weight loss would seem legit because osmosis would tend to shuttle
the water in the other direction. however is this just the equivalent
of taking a really big dump?

Nope. What came out was very different than anything that ever came out
before (I pay attention to my bowl contents), and was inconsistent with the
consistency of fecal material from any portion of the colon, except the very
distal part.

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Next time y'll want to tell me to "shove it up my ass", I may take the
suggestion.

I look forward to detailed scatological discussions in the future.

I knew that.

David

David Cohen said:

(I pay attention to my bowl contents)

Way, WAY too much so...
TBR

"As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and
more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day
the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the
White House will be adorned by a downright moron."
H.L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
"Anyone with degrees from Yale and Harvard is presumed to be intelligent,
but George W. Bush has managed to overcome that presumption."

"Joe Humble" <[email hidden]> wrote

Quoted message said:

Joe Humble <[email hidden]> wrote:

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

So, it was a success. My weight, after fully emptying any residual liquid
from my intestines, was 2 pounds less. Two pounds of old stuck [censored]. Not
bad. I may do it again in a few months.

the weight loss would seem legit because osmosis would tend to shuttle
the water in the other direction.

Scratch that, reverse it.

No, you had it right. The filtered, purified, water used is hypotonic. Moves
across gut membrane into isotonic bloodstream. Opposite of a saline
laxative. This has actually been experimented with as a combat fluid
resuscitation method by the Israeli military. It also accounts for the 3
voids in 2 hours following the colonic irrigation. So, the two pounds of
weight loss was a conservative measurement, and was likely a bit more, when
the fluid gain is accounted for.

David

David Cohen said:

The colonic irrigation nozzle, that is. In keeping with my diet and exercise
experiments of late, including Lyle's PSMF, blood tests, ultrasound tests,
etcetera, I decided to try a colonic irrigation. Only $65 and an hour of my
time, so, what the hell.

First, the essential assumption of colonic irrigation is that there is hard,
crusted on, plaque like, [censored] stuck to the inside of the large intestine. If
true, it really doesn't say anything about the harmful nature of such build
up, but, common sense would lead one to conclude it can't be a good thing.

Assuming it even exists as the marketting material suggests. However,
you should know that flushing organisms from the lower bowel into the
upper bowel can lead to nasty problems even in healthy people!

Quoted message said:

Second, I am an expert on the contents of various portions of the
intestines. I have been dealing with ostomies in patients for many years.
Jejunostomies, ileostomies, colonostomies at various portions of the colon.
Each section has characteristics associated with the waste material,
especially differences in consistency.

Third, I am a super doopery expert on the contents of my own intestines.
Since being on this diet for two months, I have only one bowel movement a
week, and that is assisted by Milk of Magnesia (a saline laxative) and
Dulcolax (a stimulent laxative). I know what can be induced to come out with
fiber, stool softeners, and laxatives.

Fourth, the machinery used in colonic irrigation uses transparent plumbing,
so I can see what's coming out. If there's something up there, that would
not otherwise come out, but is, I'd know it.

All that said, a pleasant young lady inserted the irrigation tubing (well
lubricated, not too uncomfortable) and began an hour of in and out, with
abdominal massaging, and foot massaging to "relax the colon" (whatever, felt
good).

And, I'll be damned! There was stuff up there that I didn't realize. The
first few in and out cycles didn't flush much out, but, each successive fill
got further and further up there, and each softened whetever "build up"
might be there. After a few cycles, a lot...A LOT...of pea to marble sized
hard black [censored] began coming out. Where the HELL did that [censored] come from? It
was of a consistency that NEVER came out my ass before, despite bowel
cleansing procedures with fibers and laxatives. Additionally, it was FAR
harder than fecal material normally associated with anything but the very
distal end of the large intestine.

Perhaps you have a few diverticuli.

Quoted message said:

The only conclusion was that this was the claimed plaque like build up on
the walls of my large intestine.

So, it was a success. My weight, after fully emptying any residual liquid
from my intestines, was 2 pounds less. Two pounds of old stuck [censored]. Not
bad. I may do it again in a few months.

Next time y'll want to tell me to "shove it up my ass", I may take the
suggestion.

David

--
spammage trappage: remove the underscores to reply

I'm going to die rather sooner than I'd like. I tried to protect my
neighbours from crime, and became the victim of it. Complications in
hospital following this resulted in a serious illness. I now need a bone
marrow transplant. Many people around the world are waiting for a marrow
transplant, too. Please volunteer to be a marrow donor:
http://www.abmdr.org.au/
http://www.marrow.org/

On Tue, 20 Sep 2005 04:49:53 GMT, Joe Humble <[email hidden]>

Quoted message said:

I'd like to know how you got
over the reluctance to have a stranger insert a tube up your ass.

Me too. I know that there's no Fing way that'll ever happen with me,
so it's hard to comprehend PAYING SOMEONE to do it.
TBR

"As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and
more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day
the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the
White House will be adorned by a downright moron."
H.L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
"Anyone with degrees from Yale and Harvard is presumed to be intelligent,
but George W. Bush has managed to overcome that presumption."

Charles said:

There is a danger here Cohen that you may have enjoyed this invasion
and in the future will likely look for more substantial intrusions.

The equipment you are discussing (the alimentary tract) has
malfunctioned as the direct consequence of you deliberately under
nourishing yourself. Introducing foreign bodies per rectum per se, is
likely to produce prostate titillations which you may find
pleasurable. This is the precursor of further exploration with ever
increasing variety and size of intrusive instruments, which may or may
not include a suitably lubricated baffled gas poker.

To further facilitate this escalating adventurous behaviour you may
benefit from the vapours of amyl nitrate:
http://www.adhl.org/amylnit.html to relax the sphincter muscles that
may inhibit the larger more inventive introductions. You will no doubt
already be aware of the efficaciousness of KY Jelly to ease the way.

Boy you sure nailed him Charles (pun intended)
TBR

"As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and
more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day
the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the
White House will be adorned by a downright moron."
H.L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
"Anyone with degrees from Yale and Harvard is presumed to be intelligent,
but George W. Bush has managed to overcome that presumption."

Charles said:

There is a danger here Cohen that you may have enjoyed this invasion
and in the future will likely look for more substantial intrusions.

The equipment you are discussing (the alimentary tract) has
malfunctioned as the direct consequence of you deliberately under
nourishing yourself. Introducing foreign bodies per rectum per se, is
likely to produce prostate titillations which you may find
pleasurable. This is the precursor of further exploration with ever
increasing variety and size of intrusive instruments, which may or may
not include a suitably lubricated baffled gas poker.

To further facilitate this escalating adventurous behaviour you may
benefit from the vapours of amyl nitrate:
http://www.adhl.org/amylnit.html to relax the sphincter muscles that
may inhibit the larger more inventive introductions. You will no doubt
already be aware of the efficaciousness of KY Jelly to ease the way.

Boy you sure nailed him Charles (pun intended)
TBR

"As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and
more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day
the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the
White House will be adorned by a downright moron."
H.L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
"Anyone with degrees from Yale and Harvard is presumed to be intelligent,
but George W. Bush has managed to overcome that presumption."