General fitness, health and nutrition · Public discussion

Real Women

Jen · 2005-10-08T10:03:02+00:00

Real women -vs- Ladies Ladies - Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces. Real Women - Leftover wine?? Hello!! ************************************************************ Ladies - Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away. Real Women - Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You might still have the headache, but who the hell cares! ************************************************************* Ladies - Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips. Real Women - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake. You are probably lying on your ass on the couch, with your feet up anyway. ************************************************************* Ladies - To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes. Real Women - Buy boxed mashed potato mix and you don't have to worry about the potatoes growing arms and legs. ************************************************************* Ladies - When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white powdery mess on the bottom of the cake. Real Women - Go to the bakery - they'll even decorate the son of a [censored] for you. ************************************************************* Ladies - Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish. Real Women - Sara Lee frozen freakin pie directions do not include brushing egg whites, so don't do it. ************************************************************* Ladies - If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy. Real Women - Go ask the very HOT neighbour guy to do it. ************************************************************* And finally the most important tip.... ************************************************************* A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...... but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn... that was fun!! -- Jen

Started by Jen · 8 October 2005 · Last activity 9 October 2005 · 6 posts · 232 views

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Original section: General fitness, health and nutrition
Published: 8 October 2005
Last activity: 9 October 2005
Original author: Jen
Posts: 6
Discussion status: Public discussion
Total views: 232
Views / 30 days: 0

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Original post
Jen
Archived post

8 October 2005, 10:03 UTC #1

Real women -vs- Ladies
Ladies - Don't throw out all that leftover wine.
Freeze into ice cubes for
future use in casseroles and sauces.
Real Women - Leftover wine?? Hello!!
************************************************************
Ladies - Cure for headaches:
Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on
your forehead.
The throbbing will go away.
Real Women - Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink.
You might still have the headache,
but who the hell cares!
*************************************************************
Ladies - Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to
prevent ice cream drips.
Real Women - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for
Pete's sake. You are probably lying on your ass on the couch, with your
feet up anyway.
*************************************************************
Ladies - To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with
the potatoes.
Real Women - Buy boxed mashed potato mix and you don't have to worry
about
the potatoes growing arms and legs.
*************************************************************
Ladies - When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a
bit of
the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white powdery mess on
the bottom of the cake.
Real Women - Go to the bakery - they'll even decorate the son of a [censored]
for you.
*************************************************************
Ladies - Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to
yield a beautiful glossy finish.
Real Women - Sara Lee frozen freakin pie directions do not include
brushing egg whites, so don't do it.
*************************************************************
Ladies - If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex
dishwashing gloves.
They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Real Women - Go ask the very HOT neighbour guy to do it.
*************************************************************
And finally the most important tip....
*************************************************************
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...... but, a true
friend
will be sitting next to you saying,
"Damn... that was fun!!
--
Jen

Report
Andy
Archived post

8 October 2005, 10:21 UTC #2

Jen said:
Real women -vs- Ladies
Ladies - Don't throw out all that leftover wine.
Freeze into ice cubes for
future use in casseroles and sauces.
Real Women - Leftover wine?? Hello!!
************************************************************
Ladies - Cure for headaches:
Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on
your forehead.
The throbbing will go away.
Real Women - Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink.
You might still have the headache,
but who the hell cares!
*************************************************************
Ladies - Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar
cone to
prevent ice cream drips.
Real Women - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the
cone, for Pete's sake. You are probably lying on your ass on the
couch, with your feet up anyway.
*************************************************************
Ladies - To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag
with the potatoes.
Real Women - Buy boxed mashed potato mix and you don't have to
worry
about
the potatoes growing arms and legs.
*************************************************************
Ladies - When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use
a
bit of
the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white powdery mess
on the bottom of the cake.
Real Women - Go to the bakery - they'll even decorate the son of a
[censored]
for you.
*************************************************************
Ladies - Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking
to
yield a beautiful glossy finish.
Real Women - Sara Lee frozen freakin pie directions do not include
brushing egg whites, so don't do it.
*************************************************************
Ladies - If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex
dishwashing gloves.
They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Real Women - Go ask the very HOT neighbour guy to do it.
*************************************************************
And finally the most important tip....
*************************************************************
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...... but, a true
friend
will be sitting next to you saying,
"Damn... that was fun!!
Damn... that was funny!!
Andy

Report
Ophelia
Archived post

8 October 2005, 10:39 UTC #3

Wonderful Jen thanks🙂)))
"Jen" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...
Quoted message said:
Real women -vs- Ladies
Ladies - Don't throw out all that leftover wine.
Freeze into ice cubes for
future use in casseroles and sauces.
Real Women - Leftover wine?? Hello!!
************************************************************
Ladies - Cure for headaches:
Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on
your forehead.
The throbbing will go away.
Real Women - Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink.
You might still have the headache,
but who the hell cares!
*************************************************************
Ladies - Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar
cone to
prevent ice cream drips.
Real Women - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone,
for
Pete's sake. You are probably lying on your ass on the couch, with
your
feet up anyway.
*************************************************************
Ladies - To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag
with
the potatoes.
Real Women - Buy boxed mashed potato mix and you don't have to
worry about
the potatoes growing arms and legs.
*************************************************************
Ladies - When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use
a bit of
the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white powdery mess
on
the bottom of the cake.
Real Women - Go to the bakery - they'll even decorate the son of a
[censored] for you.
*************************************************************
Ladies - Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking
to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
Real Women - Sara Lee frozen freakin pie directions do not include
brushing egg whites, so don't do it.
*************************************************************
Ladies - If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex
dishwashing gloves.
They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Real Women - Go ask the very HOT neighbour guy to do it.
*************************************************************
And finally the most important tip....
*************************************************************
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...... but, a true
friend
will be sitting next to you saying,
"Damn... that was fun!!
--
Jen

Report
Email address hidden
Archived post

8 October 2005, 14:56 UTC #4

Thanks for sharing this funny text...

Report
Sarah
Archived post

8 October 2005, 16:24 UTC #5

Got to send this one to my mate in Oz!
Sarah
"Jen" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...
Quoted message said:
Real women -vs- Ladies
Ladies - Don't throw out all that leftover wine.
Freeze into ice cubes for
future use in casseroles and sauces.
Real Women - Leftover wine?? Hello!!
************************************************************
Ladies - Cure for headaches:
Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on
your forehead.
The throbbing will go away.
Real Women - Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink.
You might still have the headache,
but who the hell cares!
*************************************************************
Ladies - Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone
to
prevent ice cream drips.
Real Women - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for
Pete's sake. You are probably lying on your ass on the couch, with your
feet up anyway.
*************************************************************
Ladies - To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with
the potatoes.
Real Women - Buy boxed mashed potato mix and you don't have to worry
about
the potatoes growing arms and legs.
*************************************************************
Ladies - When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a
bit of
the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white powdery mess on
the bottom of the cake.
Real Women - Go to the bakery - they'll even decorate the son of a
[censored] for you.
*************************************************************
Ladies - Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to
yield a beautiful glossy finish.
Real Women - Sara Lee frozen freakin pie directions do not include
brushing egg whites, so don't do it.
*************************************************************
Ladies - If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex
dishwashing gloves.
They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Real Women - Go ask the very HOT neighbour guy to do it.
*************************************************************
And finally the most important tip....
*************************************************************
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...... but, a true
friend
will be sitting next to you saying,
"Damn... that was fun!!
--
Jen

Report
Jen
Archived post

9 October 2005, 11:41 UTC #6

<[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...
Quoted message said:
Thanks for sharing this funny text...
You're welcome.
--
Jen

Report

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