General fitness, health and nutrition · Public discussion

Joke Du Jour, Jewish Zen

Started by OmManiPadmeOmelet · · Last activity · 5 posts · 232 views

This thread is locked and is currently read-only.

Thread details

What we know about this thread

Original section
General fitness, health and nutrition
Published
28 March 2006
Last activity
29 March 2006
Original author
OmManiPadmeOmelet
Posts
5
Discussion status
Public discussion
Total views
232
Views / 30 days
0

The navigation and discussion metadata provide context. Posts remain in their original chronological order.

Showing posts 1–5 of 5
Posts remain in their original chronological order.

Text size
  1. * If there is no self, whose arthritis is this?

    * Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated?

    * Drink tea and nourish life. With the first sip ... joy. With the 
    second ... satisfaction. With the third, peace. With the fourth, a 
    Danish.

    * Wherever you go, there you are. Your luggage is another story.

    * Accept misfortune as a blessing. Do not wish for perfect health or 
    a life without problems. What would you talk about?

    * The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single "oy."

    * The Tao does not speak. The Tao does not blame. The Tao does not 
    take sides. The Tao has no expectations. The Tao demands nothing of 
    others. The Tao is not Jewish.

    * Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this and 
    attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your problems.

    * Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your stillness be as the 
    wooded glen. And sit up straight. You'll never meet the Buddha with 
    such rounded shoulders.

    * Be patient and achieve all things. Be impatient and achieve all 
    things faster.

    * To Find the Buddha, look within. Deep inside you are ten thousand 
    flowers. Each flower blossoms ten thousand times. Each blossom has 
    ten thousand petals. You might want to see a specialist.

    * Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions. Keep in mind 
    that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness.

    * The Torah says, "Love thy neighbor as thyself." The Buddha says 
    there is no "self." So, maybe you are off the hook.
    --
    Peace, Om.

    "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-[censored]." -Jack Nicholson

  2. OmManiPadmeOmelet <[email hidden]> wrote in news:Omelet-
    [email hidden]:

    Quoted message said:


    * If there is no self, whose arthritis is this?

    * Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated?

    * Drink tea and nourish life. With the first sip ... joy. With the 
    second ... satisfaction. With the third, peace. With the fourth, a 
    Danish.

    * Wherever you go, there you are. Your luggage is another story.

    * Accept misfortune as a blessing. Do not wish for perfect health or 
    a life without problems. What would you talk about?

    * The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single "oy."

    * The Tao does not speak. The Tao does not blame. The Tao does not 
    take sides. The Tao has no expectations. The Tao demands nothing of 
    others. The Tao is not Jewish.

    * Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this and 
    attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your problems.

    * Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your stillness be as the 
    wooded glen. And sit up straight. You'll never meet the Buddha with 
    such rounded shoulders.

    * Be patient and achieve all things. Be impatient and achieve all 
    things faster.

    * To Find the Buddha, look within. Deep inside you are ten thousand 
    flowers. Each flower blossoms ten thousand times. Each blossom has 
    ten thousand petals. You might want to see a specialist.

    * Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions. Keep in mind 
    that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness.

    * The Torah says, "Love thy neighbor as thyself." The Buddha says 
    there is no "self." So, maybe you are off the hook.

    Om,

    Too deep this early in the am.

    Judges: 3.5

    Andy
    [snore]

  3. In article said:

    OmManiPadmeOmelet <[email hidden]> wrote in news:Omelet-
    [email hidden]:

    Quoted message said:


    * If there is no self, whose arthritis is this?

    * Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated?

    * Drink tea and nourish life. With the first sip ... joy. With the 
    second ... satisfaction. With the third, peace. With the fourth, a 
    Danish.

    * Wherever you go, there you are. Your luggage is another story.

    * Accept misfortune as a blessing. Do not wish for perfect health or 
    a life without problems. What would you talk about?

    * The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single "oy."

    * The Tao does not speak. The Tao does not blame. The Tao does not 
    take sides. The Tao has no expectations. The Tao demands nothing of 
    others. The Tao is not Jewish.

    * Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this and 
    attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your problems.

    * Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your stillness be as the 
    wooded glen. And sit up straight. You'll never meet the Buddha with 
    such rounded shoulders.

    * Be patient and achieve all things. Be impatient and achieve all 
    things faster.

    * To Find the Buddha, look within. Deep inside you are ten thousand 
    flowers. Each flower blossoms ten thousand times. Each blossom has 
    ten thousand petals. You might want to see a specialist.

    * Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions. Keep in mind 
    that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness.

    * The Torah says, "Love thy neighbor as thyself." The Buddha says 
    there is no "self." So, maybe you are off the hook.

    Om,

    Too deep this early in the am.

    Judges: 3.5

    Andy
    [snore]

    I work nights... ;-)

    This is late evening for me!
    --
    Peace, Om.

    "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-[censored]." -Jack Nicholson

  4. OMG! That's hilarious!
    sf
    ````````

    OmManiPadmeOmelet said:


    * If there is no self, whose arthritis is this?

    * Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated?

    * Drink tea and nourish life. With the first sip ... joy. With the 
    second ... satisfaction. With the third, peace. With the fourth, a 
    Danish.

    * Wherever you go, there you are. Your luggage is another story.

    * Accept misfortune as a blessing. Do not wish for perfect health or 
    a life without problems. What would you talk about?

    * The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single "oy."

    * The Tao does not speak. The Tao does not blame. The Tao does not 
    take sides. The Tao has no expectations. The Tao demands nothing of 
    others. The Tao is not Jewish.

    * Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this and 
    attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your problems.

    * Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your stillness be as the 
    wooded glen. And sit up straight. You'll never meet the Buddha with 
    such rounded shoulders.

    * Be patient and achieve all things. Be impatient and achieve all 
    things faster.

    * To Find the Buddha, look within. Deep inside you are ten thousand 
    flowers. Each flower blossoms ten thousand times. Each blossom has 
    ten thousand petals. You might want to see a specialist.

    * Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions. Keep in mind 
    that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness.

    * The Torah says, "Love thy neighbor as thyself." The Buddha says 
    there is no "self." So, maybe you are off the hook.

    --

    Practice safe eating. Always use condiments.

  5. In article <[email hidden]>,

    sf said:

    OMG! That's hilarious!
    sf

    :-)
    --
    Peace, Om.

    "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-[censored]." -Jack Nicholson

Active in the last 60 minutes

Active in this thread

0 users · 0 guests ·0 bots ·0 total

No signed-in users are active right now.

No known search crawlers active right now.