If cabin pressure suddenly drops, an oxygen mask will deploy from a compartment above your head ...

"Surf McBrowse" <[email hidden]> wrote in message "]news:[email hidden]...

Ah! So you've been contributing to the depletion of the ozone layer rather than lying face down and
bloodied in a ditch with the prints of Wobbot's size 10 Nike Skylons stamped on the back of your
head. Strange. I had you down as something of an eco-crusader and now I find that you make a
personal contribution to the overcrowded skies and global pollution. It's funny how these mental
images we build up of folk we haven't met are rarely accurate.

So, you need my advice. More importantly - unlike many of the rec.runners - you actually realise
that you NEED my advice. First things first, are you sure you really WANT to return to running?
There are many recreational activities out there that would welcome a sporting god such as yourself.
I'm thinking carpet bowls, or maybe tennis du table?

OK, if running it must be, then what sort? Road rumbling, trail tripping, track taming, hill
humping? You may scoff, but your choice has a significant impact upon your running world. Are you
happy sharing your activity with angry cars, surly pedestrians, street furniture and wayward
skateboarders? Then the city streets and parks are all yours, my friend. Conversely, you may prefer
to be surrounded by flighty High school and University students, all testosterone and oestrogen,
eagerly arranging illicit meetings behind the sandpit between all out lung bursting interval
sessions, timed to thousandths of a second. (BTW, they time the intervals, not the illicit sessions.
The illicit session last between 30 sec and 3 minutes, depending on the guys staying power. They're
young. They have little.)

You get the picture, I'm sure. *Where* you do it is as important as *what* you do. So make sure
you're happy in your running environment and that it matches your personality and goals.

Knowing you as I do, you won't listen to a word of my advice and will plough your own little furrow.
This is good. Solo furrow-ploughing is the only course of action that a true individual should
follow, and I wouldn't like you if you were any less unique. Welcome back, Surf.

Roger.

Gee lookie here, he just HAPPENS to return at the same time as Roidger, interesting... They seem to
disappear and reappear simutaneously.

Surf McBrowse said:

I'm back, so to speak. I've been globe trotting. Flying, escalating, elevating, taxiing, dragging,
lurching, waiting, stowing, embarking, queuing, lounging and purchasing some very expensive little
sandwiches at very odd hours. I had more than enough (of everything, especially the sandwiches, and
even the lemon soaked napkins) ... glad to be home.

I did manage to run a wee bit throughout my sojourn. In Atlanta I ran from terminal B, down the
escalator, over some indignant Koreans, in to the train, and up again to departure gate E29. Whilst
in San Francisco I ran up a large bill. In Waikiki I flip-flopped, sauntered and generally lazed
about, when I was not, much to my annoyance, debating the finer points irrigation theory with
clients who could not seem to grasp the fact we were in Waikiki.

So, I've had a lay off. No doubt my muscles have atrophied, my flexibility has suffered, V02 has
been seriously compromised and osteoarthritis has set in.

I've decided I'm starting from scratch. I'll be looking to you all for kind and insightful advice
as I claw my way back to a svelte, aerodynamic form of muscle, balance, speed and grace.

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to go shake the sand out of my Hind's.

Jetlaggadly yours, Surf

<yawn> I just got up, but this boring post has me headed back to bed...

sydenhams chorea said:

"Surf McBrowse" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Ah! So you've been contributing to the depletion of the ozone layer rather than lying face down and
bloodied in a ditch with the prints of Wobbot's size 10 Nike Skylons stamped on the back of your
head. Strange. I had you down as something of an eco-crusader and now I find that you make a
personal contribution to the overcrowded skies and global pollution. It's funny how these mental
images we build up of folk we haven't met are rarely accurate.

So, you need my advice. More importantly - unlike many of the rec.runners - you actually realise
that you NEED my advice. First things first, are you sure you really WANT to return to running?
There are many recreational activities out there that would welcome a sporting god such as
yourself. I'm thinking carpet bowls, or maybe tennis du table?

OK, if running it must be, then what sort? Road rumbling, trail tripping, track taming, hill
humping? You may scoff, but your choice has a significant impact upon your running world. Are you
happy sharing your activity with angry cars, surly pedestrians, street furniture and wayward
skateboarders? Then the city streets and parks are all yours, my friend. Conversely, you may prefer
to be surrounded by flighty High school and University students, all testosterone and oestrogen,
eagerly arranging illicit meetings behind the sandpit between all out lung bursting interval
sessions, timed to thousandths of a second. (BTW, they time the intervals, not the illicit
sessions. The illicit session last between 30 sec and 3 minutes, depending on the guys staying
power. They're young. They have little.)

You get the picture, I'm sure. *Where* you do it is as important as *what* you do. So make sure
you're happy in your running environment and that it matches your personality and goals.

Knowing you as I do, you won't listen to a word of my advice and will plough your own little
furrow. This is good. Solo furrow-ploughing is the only course of action that a true individual
should follow, and I wouldn't like you if you were any less unique. Welcome back, Surf.

Roger.

"Leg humper" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Gee lookie here, he just HAPPENS to return at the same time as Roidger, interesting... They seem
to disappear and reappear simutaneously.

He has a point, Surf. Are we connected by some Galactic Force? Are you my alter-ego prowling around
the western seaboard of Yankeeland? Nah! I'm sure it's just coincidence. There couldn't really be an
all-powerful Force For Good in the universe that's bringing us together on rec.running, could there?

Roger.

"Leg humper" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

<yawn> I just got up, but this boring post has me headed back to bed...

Yabbut you've got the whole 'getting up' thing wrong. You should look upon daylight and my new posts
as a relief from the mockery of those fitful dreams of success and achievement that torment you
every night. At least when you wake up you can pretend that everything is OK. The dark monster that
is reality stalks your sleeping world too well. Every night he catches you, and every night you die
a little more...

Roger.

Quoted message said:

He has a point, Surf. Are we connected by some Galactic Force? Are you my alter-ego prowling
around the western seaboard of Yankeeland? Nah! I'm sure it's just coincidence. There couldn't
really be an all-powerful Force For Good in the universe that's bringing us together on
rec.running, could there?

Roger.

Well, we do have to consider the fundamental interconnectedness of all things. A butterfly beats
it's wings in Beijing and my nieghbour is suddenly dragging his muffler down the street. I don't
think, however, the force really has any concious intent, good or bad (if it does it should really
have better things to do then bring us together, seemingly for the sole purpose of getting Bill's
nickers in a twist). Rather it is doing what it does, the way it's always done it, for the sake of
doing it. It just is.

Surf

P.S. Having waxed my philosophical board, may I offer the following for you consideration (all will
not be clear, but that is not the point) :

Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency Douglas Adams

Even British Nuclear Fuels rushed out a statement to the effect that it was a one in a million
chance there was hardly any radioactive leakage at all and the site of the explosion would make for
a nice location for a day out with the kids and a picnic, before finally having to admit that it
wasn't actually anything to do with them at all. No rational cause could be found for the explosion
- it was simply designated an act of God. But, thinks Dirk Gently, which God? And why? What God
would be hanging around Terminal Two of Heathrow Airport trying to catch the 15.37 to Oslo?

It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on Earth has ever produced the expression "as pretty
as an airport".

Airports are ugly. Some are very ugly. Some attain a degree of ugliness that can only be the result
of a special effort. This ugliness arises because airports are full of people who are tired, cross,
and have just discovered that their luggage has landed in Murmansk, and architects have on the whole
tried to reflect this in their designs.

They have sought to highlight the tiredness and crossness motif with brutal shapes and
nerve-jangling colours, to make effortless the business of separating the traveller for ever from
his or her luggage or loved ones, to confuse the traveller with arrows that appear to point at the
windows, distant tie racks, or the current position of Ursa Minor in the night sky, and wherever
possible to expose the plumbing on the grounds that it is functional, and conceal the location of
the departure gates, presumably on the grounds that they are not.

"I'm very glad you asked me that, Mrs Rawlinson. The term `holistic' refers to my conviction that
what we are concerned with here is the fundamental interconnectedness of all things. I do not
concern myself with such petty things as fingerprint powder, telltale pieces of pocket fluff and
inane footprints. I see the solution to each problem as being detectable in the pattern and web of
the whole. The connections between causes and effects are often much more subtle and complex than we
with our rough and ready understanding of the physical world might naturally suppose, Mrs Rawlinson.

"Let me give you an example. If you go to an acupuncturist with toothache he sticks a needle instead
into your thigh. Do you know why he does that, Mrs Rawlinson?

No, neither do I, Mrs Rawlinson, but we intend to find out. A pleasure talking to you, Mrs
Rawlinson. Goodbye."

"Surf McBrowse" <[email hidden]> wrote in message "]news:[email hidden]...

Hmm. I never did rate Adams as anything other than a candidate for an early coronary. A surprisingly
prophetic assessment.

For example, take his discourse on airports. And I do mean that literally - take it away, for it
offends me.

Airports are places of surreal sound, of movement, of colour, of light and space. They are magical.
You have this wonder, stress, excitement and emotion contained within one place, then channelled all
over the world via Pratt & Whitney or Rolls-Royce. If I wanted to display to a little green alien
just what it is to be human, I'd take them to an airport. "Look", I'd say, "Look at what we can do.
There's every race, colour and creed taking their ideas and beliefs between nations. Some for
business, some for education, some for pleasure. They're working and travelling in a chaotic manner,
yet they get where they're going despite the obstacles. They fly in the most ridiculous and unsafe
machines, yet they have the confidence that they will arrive, safe and unharmed, at the end of their
journey. They put their trust in people they've never met, and these people rarely fail them."

I love the scale of airports, the impersonal nature of the buildings, the vast car parks, the
snaking access roads. But most of all, I love the runway. To me, it's a springboard to a million
possibilities, or the last piece of earth you'll touch alive, sometimes both. And it's the fact that
we all, in our hearts, realise this, yet we still board the plane. We can all glimpse just a touch
of what Columbus or Magellan felt as they set off on their journeys.

Adams asks, "What God would be hanging around Terminal Two of Heathrow Airport trying to catch the
15.37 to Oslo?". I'll tell you what sort of God. A good God, a God with a sense of adventure, a God
of His people, that's what sort of God.

Roger.

sydenhams chorea said:

He has a point, Surf. Are we connected by some Galactic Force?

More than likely attached at the [censored].

Surf McBrowse said:

seemingly for the sole purpose of getting Bill's nickers in a twist).

You're not twisting anything of mine you perverts.

Quoted message said:

Hmm. I never did rate Adams as anything other than a candidate for an

early coronary. A surprisingly prophetic assessment.

Philistine!

Quoted message said:

Airports are places of surreal sound, of movement, of colour, of light and

space.

Airports are places of smog, filth, and congestion, and are generally bereft of sights and sounds
that lift the spirit, especially at 6 am.

Quoted message said:

They are magical. You have this wonder, stress, excitement and emotion contained within one place,
then channelled all over the world via Pratt & Whitney or Rolls-Royce.

They are stifling. You have to wonder "how can people work here day after day, watching people like
me thumb most of the magazines and never buy anything?". The best physical part of an airport is
those portable, sometimes crinkly, jetways that lead you from the gate to the front door of the
waiting cigar tube. It is then you know you're getting the hell out of there.

Quoted message said:

If I wanted to display to a little green alien just what it is to be

human, I'd take them to an airport. "Look", I'd say, "Look at what we can do".

It is at this point Roger will have saved the Earth from imminent invasion. The Alien emissary would
shake one of its two heads it bewilderment, decide we're just not worth the effort, get peckish, try
a breakfast burrito in the food court (just so as to fill in the quisine review portion of his ZN-5
Invasion Suitability Report) and die on the way home, his craft spiralling in to Cygnus X-1.

Quoted message said:

There's every race, colour and creed taking their ideas and beliefs between

nations. Some for business, some for education, some for pleasure.

Some for hate's sake, who try to ignite their shoes in flight.

Quoted message said:

They put their trust in people they've never met, and these people rarely

fail them

They say a little prayer at take off and landing. Most of them never pray at any other time, except
Christmas and Easter.

Quoted message said:

We can all glimpse just a touch of what Columbus or Magellan felt as they

set off on their journeys.

Columbus thought "Ha ha ha! I'm going to be rich! Drunk and high most of his life he was convinced
he had been to Asia and that Cuba was Japan.

Magellan felt fruit was for sissies. Magellan thought rivers flowed up hill. Magellan was Portuguese
and therefore mentally challenged.

Quoted message said:

Adams asks, "What God would be hanging around Terminal Two of Heathrow Airport trying to catch the
15.37 to Oslo?". I'll tell you what sort of God. A good God, a God with a sense of adventure, a
God of His people, that's what sort of God.

If you'd bother to read one of great literary works of our time you'd know he was a disenfranchised
God, a confused "why can't I fly properly anymore?" God, a God with a temper who would accidentally
turn aeroplanes in to eagles.

Surf <dispensing compelling reasoning and irrefutable logic

"Surf McBrowse" <[email hidden]> wrote in message "]news:[email hidden]...

Wow! Cynicism hasn't just got you by the balls, it's crawled inside your body and is snuggling its
world-weary head on your spleen.

Quoted message said:

Airports are places of smog, filth, and congestion, and are generally

bereft of sights and sounds that lift the spirit, especially at 6 am.

Nothing, but nothing, smells more of adventure than burnt jet fuel.

Quoted message said:

They are stifling. You have to wonder "how can people work here day after

day, watching people like me thumb most of the magazines and never buy anything?".

Surf? This smacks of elitism, of looking down on the 'little people' that minister to your
travelling needs. They neither need nor desire your sympathy. They need your politeness, your humour
and your kindness. So smile at them and buy the damn magazine.

Quoted message said:

It is at this point Roger will have saved the Earth from imminent

invasion.

I *knew* my life had a purpose. But who could have guessed at this?

hate's sake, who try to ignite their shoes in flight.

I know :-) Isn't it great? That you can have that level of diversity - from attempts to make life to
attempts to end it take place in the same aluminium airframe?

Quoted message said:

They say a little prayer at take off and landing. Most of them never pray

at any other time, except Christmas and Easter.

True. But anything that brings you in touch, however briefly, with your own mortality is not to be
sneered at.

Quoted message said:

Columbus thought "Ha ha ha! I'm going to be rich! Drunk and high most of

his life he was convinced he had been to Asia and that Cuba was Japan.

Quoted message said:

Magellan felt fruit was for sissies. Magellan thought rivers flowed up

hill. Magellan was Portuguese and therefore mentally challenged.

You have a problem with the fact that they had human frailties, yet still they achieved greatness in
their lives?

Quoted message said:

If you'd bother to read one of great literary works of our time you'd know

he was a disenfranchised God, a confused "why can't I fly properly anymore?" God, a God with a
temper who would accidentally turn aeroplanes in to eagles.

Hey, I'm not into religion so I'm not going to argue Gods with you.

My God is my friend. He likes me and I like him. We get on. He's not Christian or Jewish or Muslim
and he doesn't ask me to join sects. We have this agreement. He bails me out of trouble and in
return I try to be kind to others when I have the opportunity. Works for us.

Quoted message said:

Surf <dispensing compelling reasoning and irrefutable logic>

No. It's Surf, dispensing very Surf-unlike grumpiness and lemon-sucking sneers.

Roger.

Quoted message said:

Wow! Cynicism hasn't just got you by the balls, it's crawled inside your body and is snuggling its
world-weary head on your spleen.

I think you're misinterpreting a few things. Permit me to illuminate the vast and fun filled world
of 'Surf's conflicting attitudes towards all things great and small'.

Quoted message said:

Nothing, but nothing, smells more of adventure than burnt jet fuel.

I can relate. I like the smell my outboard boat motor makes.

More to the point, airports are where adventures often begin. I love to travel, but I don't
*particularly* like air travel (although the -plane part is much better then the -port part), I'd
rather be there already, on the beach, in the pub, checking out the new city for the first time. The
truth is however I make the best of it, I read my book, I gratefully accept the hot towel, I smile
at the person who says 'excuse me' for the sixth time on a four hour flight.

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

You have to wonder "how can people work here day after day, watching people like me thumb most of
the magazines and never buy

anything?".

Quoted message said:

Surf? This smacks of elitism, of looking down on the 'little people'

that

Quoted message said:

minister to your travelling needs. They neither need nor desire your sympathy. They need your
politeness, your humour and your kindness. So smile at them and buy the damn magazine.

Not elitism, pity. I'm wondering how they deal with the boredom. Do they get free magazines? Do they
really care if I buy one?

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

It is at this point Roger will have saved the Earth from imminent

invasion.

Quoted message said:

I *knew* my life had a purpose. But who could have guessed at this?

Well, truth is stranger than fiction.

hate's sake,

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

who try to ignite their shoes in flight.

Quoted message said:

I know :-) Isn't it great? That you can have that level of diversity - from attempts to make life
to attempts to end it take place in the same aluminium airframe?

Yes, you can meat some interesting people on planes.

Quoted message said:

True. But anything that brings you in touch, however briefly, with your

own

Quoted message said:

mortality is not to be sneered at.

Je ne ricane pas à celui. Juste une observation

Quoted message said:

You have a problem with the fact that they had human frailties, yet still they achieved greatness
in their lives?

The point I'm attempting to tack to is this. If you catch a glimpse of what Columbus & Magellan
felt like while rotating off the runway, you must be in first class because you're half in the
bag already.

Quoted message said:

Hey, I'm not into religion so I'm not going to argue Gods with you.

I think you'd find we've rather little to argue about, since we're of the same mind (right Bill?). I
just like the way Adam's wrote about this particular God, the God of Thunder, Thor.

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Surf <dispensing compelling reasoning and irrefutable logic>

No. It's Surf, dispensing very Surf-unlike grumpiness and lemon-sucking

sneers.

Surf <happily dispensing cheerful thoughts and gloomy observations

sydenhams chorea said:

Quoted message said:

They say a little prayer at take off and landing. Most of them never pray at any other time,
except Christmas and Easter.

True. But anything that brings you in touch, however briefly, with your own mortality is not to be
sneered at.

Airplanes introduce mortality like napkins introduce paper mills.

Want mortality? Run a marathon. Go rock climbing. Dangle 2500 feet above little toothpick pine trees
and feel the visceral fear turn your stomach into a pretzel. Watch your leg start shaking
uncontrollably as the muscles in your forearms begin to scream in agony while your brain races
non-stop to figure out the right route up a stupidly blank face. That's an introduction to
mortality.

Hopping on an airplane with better survival odds than driving to the supermarket isn't morality,
it's putting a bit of non-dairy creamer in your coffee and thinking you just ate breakfast.

-Dave

--
work: dga - at - lcs.mit.edu me: angio - at - pobox.com MIT Laboratory for Computer Science
angio.netangio.netOpen ↗ (note that my reply-to address is vaguely despammed...) bulk emailers: I do
not accept unsolicited email. Do not mail me.

Quoted message said:

Hopping on an airplane with better survival odds than driving to the supermarket isn't morality,
it's putting a bit of non-dairy creamer in your coffee and thinking you just ate breakfast.

Well put.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to live dangerously and have some loose leaf tea, without milk.

Surf

"Surf McBrowse" <[email hidden]> wrote in message "]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Surf <happily dispensing cheerful thoughts and gloomy observations>

That's better!

Like I said, nice to have you back.

Roger.

"Dave Andersen" <[email hidden]> wrote in message "]news:[email hidden]...

Remember one of 'Rogers' tales about living in Rhodesia? Well, 'twas partly true in that it was in
Africa, but not in that particular state. The portion that was true was that we used our family
aeroplane as you would use your car. Air travel was, to me, considerably less exciting than a trip
in dads VW Beetle or, excitement upon excitement, on one of that countries seven steam trains.

Point being, air travel was a friendly, comfortable mode of travel until I visited the site of
dads fatal air crash in that friendly family Super Cub. From that day forth, every flight would
bring memories of twisted aluminium, bent tubular frames, fragments of Plexiglas, the smell of oil
and avgas, and the strange sense of unexpected finality that hangs in the air at every aviation
crash site.

Maybe I should have said "For some of us, air travel brings us in touch..." I've done lots of things
that should terrify me, but didn't. Perhaps we all carry our own particular collection of fears -
for some it's rock climbing, for others it's cellophane wrapping. Whatever it is that shakes us out
of our introspective and secure world should be cherished and visited often, if only to remind us
not to waste our time or our gifts.

In other words, you don't have to have huge balls or a 10" penis to

Roger.

sydenhams chorea said:

"Dave Andersen" <[email hidden]> wrote in message "]news:[email hidden]...

Remember one of 'Rogers' tales about living in Rhodesia? Well, 'twas partly true in that it was in
Africa, but not in that particular state. The portion that was true was that we used our family
aeroplane as you would use your car. Air travel was, to me, considerably less exciting than a trip
in dads VW Beetle or, excitement upon excitement, on one of that countries seven steam trains.

Point being, air travel was a friendly, comfortable mode of travel until I visited the site of
dads fatal air crash in that friendly family Super Cub. From that day forth, every flight would
bring memories of twisted aluminium, bent tubular frames, fragments of Plexiglas, the smell of oil
and avgas, and the strange sense of unexpected finality that hangs in the air at every aviation
crash site.

Putting on my "suspension of disbelief" hat for a while to steep myself in your world... certainly.
But regular flights in puddle jumpers is a far cry from the experience of most in the first world,
to whom the biggest danger of "airplane travel" is getting seated next to the fattest man on the
airplane during a full flight.

Quoted message said:

Maybe I should have said "For some of us, air travel brings us in touch..." I've done lots of
things that should terrify me, but didn't. Perhaps we all carry our own particular collection of
fears - for some it's rock climbing, for others it's cellophane wrapping. Whatever it is that
shakes us out of our introspective and secure world should be cherished and visited often, if only
to remind us not to waste our time or our gifts.

Don't get me wrong - climbing doesn't terrify me, I love it. But there've been a few times, mostly
when being stupid and climbing without a rope, when it finally seeped into my twenty-something year
old brain that I could die. I was visiting my family in Salt Lake and went trail running, and saw a
nice, mellow scramble up to a ridgeline that looked like it would offer some great views. So up I
went, and the mellow scramble turned into a slightly technical climb. All was OK until the nice
granite "handhold" that I touched turned into a 15lb projectile that grazed the side of my head,
leaving me dazed and pretty shocked that I wasn't a splotch on the trail.

But, I agree. There's value in realizing the precious shortness of life, and in being shown the
larger world outside. Even if it takes a "Roger Hunter" to shake poeple out of their little
world, eh?

Quoted message said:

In other words, you don't have to have huge balls or a 10" penis to

Damnit! But that nice email I just received said..

-Dave

--
work: dga - at - lcs.mit.edu me: angio - at - pobox.com MIT Laboratory for Computer Science
angio.netangio.netOpen ↗ (note that my reply-to address is vaguely despammed...) bulk emailers: I do
not accept unsolicited email. Do not mail me.

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Surf <happily dispensing cheerful thoughts and gloomy observations>

That's better!

Like I said, nice to have you back.

Roger.

After all my clever witticisms that is all you have to say?

"Is this the right room for an argument? I told you once. No you didn't. Yes I did."

Surf <supposing he'll have to get to work now and stop mucking about on the 'Net

"Surf McBrowse" <[email hidden]> wrote in message "]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

After all my clever witticisms that is all you have to say?

Sorry. Sometimes you say everything that needs to be said.

I guess I could have quibbled about your 'need to arrive' and rattled on about 'travel being the
best part of the adventure', but it's all rather subjective and I do understand that not everyone
loves noise, crowds and chaos.

I kinda think that a little of Columbus or Magellan lurks in all of us, it's just that we don't let
it out very often, or even recognise it when we do.

We'll never agree on the benefits that Adams conferred upon humanity, though I will concede he had
the ability to present a jolly amusing argument. And as we seem to share the same malleable and
benevolent God, I don't think we should go out of our way to [censored] him off, do you?

So, yes, get back to work, you miscreant. It appears that the safety of the Western World is
dependent upon me turning up for a lengthy duty spell shortly, so I'll leave you to summon up some
trivial issue for us to cat-fight over next week. 'Til then,

See ya,

Roger.