[censored] Pound Witnesses Huge Flash Of Light
Colorado City, Arizona resident [censored] Pound reported seeing a bright flash of
light early this morning as he turned his head away from frying up some lean
and hearty strips of Farmer John bacon in a frying pan on the stove to
glance over at the TV set on the floor in the living room, which was tuned
to OLN.
"There was this bright flash of light," said Pound, "and sparks an' [censored] was
flyin' everywhere."
Though other area residents failed to report similar sightings, many claimed
they had most likely just gotten up to take a leak or were watching OLN, or
something, instead, at approximately the time Pound reported seeing the
bright flash.
Colorado City police called in to investigate have turned the matter over to
WADA who have theorized that the bright flash of light may have come from an
actual news story or something on OLN about a bright flash of light or about
something that had a bright flash of light as part of the story.
Pound was later hospitalized for feeling all guilty an' [censored] over looking
away from the TV screen for 15 seconds to turn his bacon, and then having
the bright flash be, like, totally gone when he looked back.