So I've complained (whined?) about my newest "bionic" shoulder just about enough I'm sure, but this latest bit of loveliness is just fanfreakintastic.
I avoided surgery on my right shoulder after a helluva crash up at Willamette Pass on Labor Day by the slimest of margins. Good news for me since I've already had 3 on my left and one on my right (all football related except the last one on my left-mtb related). So as part of my rehab the lady I go to has continued to threaten me with physical violence and/or death if I ride my Heckler before she gives the thumbs up (even on the streets). My cruiser is cool to ride, but nothing that tempts me to jump, blah, blah, blah.
Well, I (being the "expert" on me) decided that since I heard her say to a doctor that my rehab was going "better than expected" I decided that meant I deserved a little bit of a victory ride. Nothing crazy or technical. Just an easy (and beutiful) rolling trail that rides along the rim of a local reservoir near town. It maid since to me on many levels: we were to look at a small piece of property (3 acres) about 5 or 10 minutes from there last Saturday morning and I figured I would take my bike, look at the land, ride for a couple of hours and treat myself to some "real" sweat (not the treadmill induced kind) and give my bike some love. Makes since, right?
Not so fast folks. Everything was cool (property was very cool, but a bit over-priced, maybe they'll consider less $) and the ride was nice. I even got off my bike and carried it over a smallish log in the trail just to be "safe." Good boy, huh? So I was rolling along at a pretty slow pace, even for me, and here comes my dog trying to catch-up with me from walking along with my better half. He zoom-zoom-zooms in front of me and gets distracted by who the hell knows what. I steer around my "best friend" and underneath the 45 feet of leaves and fall carpet I find one of those famous "immoveable objects" you always hear about.
To make a short story a little longer I lost that battle, again. Now the best outcome would have been to mess up my left shoulder and have two gimpy wings at the same time. Me? I'm not that original I guess. I did this bastardized fozbury flop feeling thing and yep you guessed it: busted the scapula. Just a hairline fracture mind you. Oh, and some "additional" muscular damage. Great. I guess it's official, I AM a moron. My PT just laughed when I went in yesterday. She threatened to do this before, but my wife wouldn't go along with it: my Heckler is now a prisoner in it's own garage. Locked to the work bench. I know we arn't supposed to get vulgar here, but DARNIT ALL TO HECK!!!!!!
I tried to blame Karl (my dog) but the women in my life didn't go for it. I even tried to blame my wife: "Well, you shouldn't have let me go in the first place!" That didn't work very well either, I have a nice couch though😉
Anyways, there you go. I guess the moral of the story is: eat more chocolate. If I'd eat more chocolate then I'd be too fat to ride my bike and wouldn't have gotten hurt, right?😄 Just kidding. Thanks for listening (reading) folks. I feel much better now, OUCH! reaching for that "H" was taxing! Take care folks and enjoy your bikes, you never know when you too will have a "special" moment and loose yours.
I shall return, hopefully.
K.