In an attempt to a) clean some of the ink¹ off my youngest
Brainiak, Spawn, and b) and give her greater freedom, I allowed
her a mid-morning bath. The entertainment value alone from this
event was worth the grief I received from my MIL, my gahdmother,
and my 18-month-old daughter-unit.
We've been using glycerin bars (usually Neutrogena) since the
older daughter-units (Alpha & Beta) showed us how allergic they
are to Dove (and that ilk). One company that has gotten into this
"designer" niche also adds fun scents (banana, strawberry, fruit
punch) to their bars. I got their newest flavor, "Piña Colada,"
and put the first bar into the bath's soap dish.
Spawn, having just learned how to suds up using a soap bar, was
busy twirling the soap and creating quite a pile of bubbles when
she "noticed" the funky scent. More quickly than if I'd offered
her a chocolate kiss, she popped the bar's end straight into her
mouth and chomped down. The look of surprise on her face -- as she
realized that the scent didn't match the taste -- was apparent.
The next four seconds were classic!
1st second: YANK bar out of mouth and squeeze it so it shoots
across tub;
2nd second: Put sudsy hand -- to the wrist -- into mouth to scrape
teeth and tongue;
3rd second: Realize that [bad] taste is now "enhanced" with bubbly
effervescence;
4th second: Rub eyes with same sudsy hands.
I tell you, the 3 Stooges didn't have choreography this good!
Once I was able to get her to open her mouth, Real Life® returned
to "normal" (sort of.) I got the chunks still clinging tenaciously
to her teeth, dried her eyes and rinsed a majority of the soap
taste away. She didn't want anything to do with that mean old
nasty bar, though!
The "Ivory Soap Survivor--for One Special Lesson" Ranger
¹ Spawn striped herself with a red Sharpie. She hit only (and all)
exposed skin visible to the toddler eye (stomach, arms, feet,
toes, between the toes, and fingers) and did not mark any walls,
sheets, or carpeting... She looks like a red Conan the Barbarian.