Question about Linda McCartney's food line

Governor Swill said:

I'm Governor Swill from the group alt.pink-floyd and I have a question
for some of the folks of rec.food.cooking. I have a rather embarrassing
problem with bad intestinal gas. In the past I have attempted to
identify and eat foods that don't cause gas. For example, most beans are
out of the question because they contain sugars which make me rapid fire
fart (and no, I'm not joking here.) I'm also a gay man and this gas
problem is on my mind a lot because of obvious reasons. When my life
partner and I decide to have man love, I'm terrified of passing gas
during mid session. My mate says he understands my concerns and that it
doesn't really bother him however it's still quite humiliating to me.
Nothing can kill a romantic mood than to have your significant other
pass gas during sex. Because of this, I have changed my eating patterns
so that we have romance first and then eat later. Below, I've made a
list of foods that I know make me gaseous and was wondering if some of
you in the food group could suggest some cooking techniques or foods
that are less likely to make me cut gas.
Here's the list of foods and beverages I'm avoiding for now.

Cheeseburgers
Milkshakes and malts
Boiled eggs
Grilled steak
Beans (Ranch style, Pinto and Navy)
Chili
Broccoli
Squash
Cheese (I really miss eating cheese more than anything else.)
Hominy corn
Frog legs
Macaroni and Cheese
Clams

I have taken over the counter products such as Beano and GasX but they
only offer limited results and I'm not about to see my doctor and tell
him about this. I'm too embarrassed.
Suggestions?

Governor Swill

sprinkle the Beano on his schlong and your butt hole...that should
take care of it.

For further enjoyment..keep lit candles by the "work" zone. Might
torch your ass hairs off and his ball hairs but it is romantic on a
cold winter night.

Governor Swill said:

I'm Governor Swill from the group alt.pink-floyd and I have a question
for some of the folks of rec.food.cooking. I have a rather embarrassing
problem with bad intestinal gas.

[snip]

This answers the question, "Do trolls fart?"

Quoted message said:

Governor Swill

--Bryan

Bobo Bonobo? said:

Governor Swill said:

I'm Governor Swill from the group alt.pink-floyd and I have a question
for some of the folks of rec.food.cooking. I have a rather embarrassing
problem with bad intestinal gas.

[snip]

This answers the question, "Do trolls fart?"

Quoted message said:

Governor Swill

--Bryan

EVERYONE farts

"Bobo Bonobo®" <[email hidden]> wrote

Quoted message said:

Governor Swill said:

I'm Governor Swill from the group alt.pink-floyd and I have a question
for some of the folks of rec.food.cooking. I have a rather embarrassing
problem with bad intestinal gas.

[snip]

This answers the question, "Do trolls fart?"

Take Beano, and there will Be No trolls.

nancy

Governor Swill said:

I'm Governor Swill from the group alt.pink-floyd and I have a question
for some of the folks of rec.food.cooking. I have a rather embarrassing
problem with bad intestinal gas. In the past I have attempted to
identify and eat foods that don't cause gas. For example, most beans are
out of the question because they contain sugars which make me rapid fire
fart (and no, I'm not joking here.) I'm also a gay man and this gas
problem is on my mind a lot because of obvious reasons. When my life
partner and I decide to have man love, I'm terrified of passing gas
during mid session. My mate says he understands my concerns and that it
doesn't really bother him however it's still quite humiliating to me.
Nothing can kill a romantic mood than to have your significant other
pass gas during sex. Because of this, I have changed my eating patterns
so that we have romance first and then eat later. Below, I've made a
list of foods that I know make me gaseous and was wondering if some of
you in the food group could suggest some cooking techniques or foods
that are less likely to make me cut gas.
Here's the list of foods and beverages I'm avoiding for now.

Cheeseburgers
Milkshakes and malts
Boiled eggs
Grilled steak
Beans (Ranch style, Pinto and Navy)
Chili
Broccoli
Squash
Cheese (I really miss eating cheese more than anything else.)
Hominy corn
Frog legs
Macaroni and Cheese
Clams

I have taken over the counter products such as Beano and GasX but they
only offer limited results and I'm not about to see my doctor and tell
him about this. I'm too embarrassed.

Only thinking about yourself, what about the others?

Quoted message said:

Suggestions?

Governor Swill

"Blackpooljimmy" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

EVERYONE farts

I don't. 🙂

Julie Bove said:

"Blackpooljimmy" <[email hidden]> wrote in message

news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

EVERYONE farts

I don't. 🙂

Imagine that you are in a small kitchen somewhere, cooking whatever,
and you've eaten something earlier that had a lot of cooked onions.
You let out a huge emission of gas that fills the room with an
overpowering odor. You are about to leave the room, driven out by the
produce of your own intestines when the door opens, a person sees you
cooking, takes a huge breath through his or her nose and says, "Smells
good."

Of course, the funniest things to do would be to reply, "Oh, glad you
think so. Here." Then let out another huge fart, but you can't
really do that, partly because you might get fired if you do.

Instead, you seriously hope that the person does not stick around to
engage you about what you are cooking, and doesn't notice that
whatever it is does not contain onions, and has no reason to smell
anything at all like your fart smelled.

--Bryan

In article <a_IJi.3838$Pc3.654@trndny09>,

Julie Bove said:

"Blackpooljimmy" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

EVERYONE farts

I don't. 🙂

Bet you don't smile either. 😉

Miche

--
In the monastery office --
Before enlightenment: fetch mail, shuffle paper
After enlightenment: fetch mail, shuffle paper

Bobo Bonobo® said:

Imagine that you are in a small kitchen somewhere, cooking whatever,
and you've eaten something earlier that had a lot of cooked onions.
You let out a huge emission of gas that fills the room with an
overpowering odor. You are about to leave the room, driven out by the
produce of your own intestines when the door opens, a person sees you
cooking, takes a huge breath through his or her nose and says, "Smells
good."

ROTFL
--
Vilco
Think pink, drink rose'

"Vilco" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Bobo Bonobo® said:

Imagine that you are in a small kitchen somewhere, cooking whatever,
and you've eaten something earlier that had a lot of cooked onions.
You let out a huge emission of gas that fills the room with an
overpowering odor. You are about to leave the room, driven out by the
produce of your own intestines when the door opens, a person sees you
cooking, takes a huge breath through his or her nose and says, "Smells
good."

ROTFL
--
Vilco
Think pink, drink rose'

sigh.

BOYS. >: /

"Vilco" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Bobo Bonobo® said:

Imagine that you are in a small kitchen somewhere, cooking whatever,
and you've eaten something earlier that had a lot of cooked onions.
You let out a huge emission of gas that fills the room with an
overpowering odor. You are about to leave the room, driven out by the
produce of your own intestines when the door opens, a person sees you
cooking, takes a huge breath through his or her nose and says, "Smells
good."

ROTFL
--
Vilco
Think pink, drink rose'

sigh.

BOYS. >: /

Julie Bove said:

"Blackpooljimmy" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

EVERYONE farts

I don't. 🙂

Of course not. Women don't fart - they "pass wind" - as soundlessly as
possible...
And they don't sweat either - they "perspire" .
😉

--
Cheers
Chatty Cathy

Garlic: the element without which life as we know it would be impossible

"ChattyCathy" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Julie Bove said:

"Blackpooljimmy" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

EVERYONE farts

I don't. 🙂

Of course not. Women don't fart - they "pass wind" - as soundlessly as
possible...
And they don't sweat either - they "perspire" .
😉

--
Cheers
Chatty Cathy

Garlic: the element without which life as we know it would be impossible

Naahhhh-Pigs sweat, men perspire, and ladies "feel the heat"

Lynne A
[email hidden]

cybercat said:

"Vilco" <[email hidden]> wrote in message

news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Bobo Bonobo® wrote:

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Imagine that you are in a small kitchen somewhere, cooking whatever,
and you've eaten something earlier that had a lot of cooked onions.
You let out a huge emission of gas that fills the room with an
overpowering odor. You are about to leave the room, driven out by the
produce of your own intestines when the door opens, a person sees you
cooking, takes a huge breath through his or her nose and says, "Smells
good."

Quoted message said:

ROTFL
--
Vilco
Think pink, drink rose'

sigh.

BOYS. >: /

That wasn't just some fart joke I thought up. It happened exactly
that way to *somebody I know*.

--Bryan

Bobo Bonobo? said:

cybercat said:

"Vilco" <[email hidden]> wrote in message

Quoted message said:

news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Bobo Bonobo wrote:

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

> Imagine that you are in a small kitchen somewhere, cooking whatever,
> and you've eaten something earlier that had a lot of cooked onions.
> You let out a huge emission of gas that fills the room with an
> overpowering odor. You are about to leave the room, driven out by the
> produce of your own intestines when the door opens, a person sees you
> cooking, takes a huge breath through his or her nose and says, "Smells
> good."

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

ROTFL
--
Vilco
Think pink, drink rose'

Quoted message said:

sigh.

Quoted message said:

BOYS. >: /

That wasn't just some fart joke I thought up. It happened exactly
that way to *somebody I know*.

--Bryan- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Martha Stewart?

Blackpooljimmy said:

Bobo Bonobo? said:

On Sep 24, 10:51 am, "cybercat" <[email hidden]> wrote:

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

"Vilco" <[email hidden]> wrote in message

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

> Bobo Bonobo wrote:

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

>> Imagine that you are in a small kitchen somewhere, cooking whatever,
>> and you've eaten something earlier that had a lot of cooked onions.
>> You let out a huge emission of gas that fills the room with an
>> overpowering odor. You are about to leave the room, driven out by the
>> produce of your own intestines when the door opens, a person sees you
>> cooking, takes a huge breath through his or her nose and says, "Smells
>> good."

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

> ROTFL
> --
> Vilco
> Think pink, drink rose'

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

sigh.

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

BOYS. >: /

Quoted message said:

That wasn't just some fart joke I thought up. It happened exactly
that way to *somebody I know*.

Quoted message said:

--Bryan

Martha Stewart?

I didn't say "know Biblically."

--Bryan

"LynneA" <[email hidden]> wrote in
news:[email hidden]:

Quoted message said:

"ChattyCathy" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Julie Bove said:

"Blackpooljimmy" <[email hidden]> wrote in
message
news:[email hidden]
...

> EVERYONE farts

I don't. 🙂

Of course not. Women don't fart - they "pass wind" - as
soundlessly as possible...
And they don't sweat either - they "perspire" .
😉

--
Cheers
Chatty Cathy

Garlic: the element without which life as we know it would
be impossible

Naahhhh-Pigs sweat, men perspire, and ladies "feel the
heat"

no, pigs do not sweat. they don't have sweat glands, which is
why they like to wollow in puddles or mud when it's hot out.
*horses sweat. cows sweat. pigs do not.
lee <and pigs prefer to be clean, too>

enigma said:

"LynneA" <[email hidden]> wrote in
news:[email hidden]:

Quoted message said:

"ChattyCathy" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Julie Bove wrote:
> "Blackpooljimmy" <[email hidden]> wrote in
> message
> news:[email hidden]
> ...
>
>> EVERYONE farts
>
> I don't. 🙂
Of course not. Women don't fart - they "pass wind" - as
soundlessly as possible...
And they don't sweat either - they "perspire" .
😉

--
Cheers
Chatty Cathy

Garlic: the element without which life as we know it would
be impossible

Naahhhh-Pigs sweat, men perspire, and ladies "feel the
heat"

no, pigs do not sweat. they don't have sweat glands, which is
why they like to wollow in puddles or mud when it's hot out.
*horses sweat. cows sweat. pigs do not.
lee <and pigs prefer to be clean, too>

Sharks sweat. You just can't tell.

--
Blinky RLU 297263
Killing all posts from Google Groups
The Usenet Improvement Project moved to this site August 28th:
http://improve-usenet.org

In article <[email hidden]>,

LynneA said:

Naahhhh-Pigs sweat, men perspire, and ladies "feel the heat"

That's close to my experience. Pigs sweat, men perspire and women glow.
At least, that's what mom told me.

leo