Oh, more "advanced" features, huh? Gee, where do I sign up for this thrilling ride? Virtual group rides, you say? Because nothing beats pretending to be in a group of sweaty, spandex-clad strangers. And real-time feedback? Yeah, because I really need a constant reminder of how slow I am.
Customizable workouts, huh? Finally, a way to avoid the workouts I don't like even more! I mean, who doesn't love tailoring their training to their specific needs, like binge-watching Netflix?
Oh, and let's not forget about AI coaching. Because who needs a human coach when you can have a robotic voice telling you to "pedal faster, human"? But hey, maybe it'll also tell you when to take a bathroom break, since we're all about automation these days.
And virtual reality? Sure, why not immerse ourselves in a fake world even more? Might as well just strap ourselves to a chair and call it a day.
Look, I get it - these features might sound exciting to some. But let's not forget that at the end of the day, indoor training is still just... indoor training. It's not like we're out there, feeling the wind in our hair and the sun on our faces. But hey, at least we're enhancing our "overall cycling performance," right? *eye roll*