O merciful Lord Coppi,
Thou who art in the big peloton in the sky,
Hallowed be thy name and cycling spirit,
Thy next feed zone cometh,
Thy protective hand shall be sought for all us unworthy wheelsuckers,
On the next climb as on the next descent,
Give us during this racing season,
Our hourly cycling news, energy bars, and “bidons” full of cool water,
Forgive us if we dare to worship other sports,
As we forgive those who follow non-chamois protected physical activities,
O blessed Lord Bartali,
Lead us not into the abyss of doping controversy,
But give us the strength to spin away 6 hours a day at high cadence,
Blessed be thy accomplishments and the accomplishments of the Merckx’s, Indurain’s, Armstrong’s, Ullrich’s and [Insert Name Here]’s,
O kind Lord Anquetil,
Let the heathens not come to France to misuse the hallowed event of the Tour,
For political, religious, anarchistic or terrorist purposes,
But rather allow the “Caravane du Tour” to pass in a competitive, economic and entertaining environment,
As it ever was and ever shall be,
O powerful Gods of Cycling,
Protect the fanatics and crazy supporters
And lead them not into the path of riders when taking pictures
Forgive them their drunken cheers,
And let them enjoy the flying colors of the peloton,
AMEN
PS: ...and puleeeeeze... No more tragedy this year... We've had enough for awhile.