Minnesotan cuts off penis to feed puncture fairies.
Thurs April 1 0:01 AM GMT
Minneapolis (Reuters) - A Minnesota man cut off his penis
when he said he was visited by four hungry puncture fairies
in a dream and he had no tubes or tires to offer them.
According to police, 99-year-old Doofus told the spirits to
go away when they first appeared to ask for tubes, and waved
his penis at them in defiance.
"Fairies, I don't have any tubes or tires for you," he was
quoted as saying by local police chief P.O. Tatoe. "If you
want to eat anything, you can eat my penis."
Doofus said the fairies agreed to eat his penis. He was
rushed to a hospital near the capital Minneapolis after he
castrated himself with a butcher's knife.
"He is lucky to be alive," P.O. Tatoe told Reuters.
Villagers in deeply impoverished southeast Minnesota
traditionally offer tubes, tires or 'SLIME' to the fairies
of punctures to ward off bad luck.