OT I hate pigeons.

Andy Chequer <andy@(youdontwantthisbitinit)thisisasparagus.com> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

I just do.

Feathery stinking [censored].

I've always despised their pointless whoo whooing and that [censored] wheezy

noise

Quoted message said:

they make when they fly. And their pointy beaks. And their feet. And their complete disregard for
British queing etiquette.

Rats with wings they are, poxy little feckers..........

Quoted message said:

I seem to have one in my (er, Rob's) bike shed. I don't know how it got in there. It must have
been in there all night. And it's taken a giant [censored]

on

Quoted message said:

my bike. And that_makes_me_maD.

You oughta [censored] on the pigeon - that'd learn it!

Quoted message said:

Andy Chequer

Disclaimer: The author acknowledges (on reflection) that it's actually deeply eccentric parenting,
excessive consumption of alcohol and herbal remedies, several nasty head traumas and prolonged
exposure to

bureaucratic

Quoted message said:

incompetent academic types that makes me mad. The pigeons are an annoyance in comparison.

Mad. Mad I tell you. Baahahahahahaaaaaaa!

Ahahaahahhahahahhaahahahhahhaaaaaa!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!

Here, this might cheer you up - Kath right, well, she likes to have a cruel giggle at times, and
when we were sat in the town centre one sunny shopping day, eating pies, she threw handful after
handful of crumbs at her feet for them there wing-ed rats, and we collected quite a host of 'em,
prolly about 50, right there, at us feet like.

'Ahhhh' says this little lad nearby us to his granddad, 'look at all them birds eatin' pie! Innit
great!?!'. Kath, well, she inflates this 'ere big bag she has with a gret big breath, and slaps it
real hard and fast between her hands. Biggest bag-bang I ever heard I tells ya!

Well (heheheheh), all them flying rodents 'exploded' like a leaky gas cooker outward and upward in a
very frightened flurry. The little kid, well, he [censored] himself and got blinded by all flying feathers
and dust and stuff, and the granddad, well, he fell off his bench in mad fits of laughter and
giggles! 'Thanks' says th'ewd fella, 'I needed that! heeeeehahahahah!'.

Shaun aRe 'buzzin'.

Kill the pigeons, kill yourself.

b3ta.commind controlOpen ↗

More pigeon mischief:-

thomasscott.netpigeonstreetOpen ↗

Andy Chequer "Shaun Rimmer" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

You oughta [censored] on the pigeon - that'd learn it!

I'd like to. I've just been out on the Orange (drop in a P45, such is the glamorous nature of my
days off) and it rained quite heavily, which has rinsed off the birdshit, but also the paint that
lay underneath. It must have had a curry last night. Binkie is also shat on, but the anodising
hasn't noticed.

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!

The voices told me to post it.

Quoted message said:

Here, this might cheer you up - Kath right, well, she likes to have a

cruel

Quoted message said:

giggle at times, and when we were sat in the town centre one sunny

shopping

Quoted message said:

day, eating pies, she threw handful after handful of crumbs at her feet

for

Quoted message said:

them there wing-ed rats, and we collected quite a host of 'em, prolly

about

Quoted message said:

50, right there, at us feet like.

'Ahhhh' says this little lad nearby us to his granddad, 'look at all them birds eatin' pie! Innit
great!?!'. Kath, well, she inflates this 'ere big bag she has with a gret big breath, and slaps it
real hard and fast

between

Quoted message said:

her hands. Biggest bag-bang I ever heard I tells ya!

Well (heheheheh), all them flying rodents 'exploded' like a leaky gas

cooker

Great simile :-)

Quoted message said:

outward and upward in a very frightened flurry. The little kid, well, he [censored] himself and got
blinded by all flying feathers and dust and stuff,

and

Quoted message said:

the granddad, well, he fell off his bench in mad fits of laughter and giggles! 'Thanks' says
th'ewd fella, 'I needed that! heeeeehahahahah!'.

ROLTLMAO! Now that's pigeons put to good use!!!!!!!!!

Quoted message said:

Shaun aRe 'buzzin'.

On Fri, 02 May 2003 11:48:34 +0100, Andy Chequer did issue forth:

Quoted message said:

I just do.

Feathery stinking [censored].

I think pigeons quite like you, they seem to feel the urge to come and see you. After all, you
are possibly the only person in history to have used the sentence "The pigeons have [censored] on my
tape deck".

--
Huw Pritchard Replace bounce with huw to reply by mail

Andy Chequer <andy@(youdontwantthisbitinit)thisisasparagus.com> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Kill the pigeons, kill yourself.

b3ta.commind controlOpen ↗

More pigeon mischief:-

thomasscott.netpigeonstreetOpen ↗

Heheheheh >',;~}~

I like your links. Your links don't stinks.

Quoted message said:

Andy Chequer "Shaun Rimmer" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

You oughta [censored] on the pigeon - that'd learn it!

I'd like to. I've just been out on the Orange (drop in a P45, such is the glamorous nature of my
days off) and it rained quite heavily, which has rinsed off the birdshit, but also the paint that
lay underneath. It must have had a curry last night. Binkie is also shat on, but the anodising
hasn't noticed.

Maybe the pigeon did indeed not ingest an Indian food product, but rather, got legless off a quarter
pint of brake fluid. Think about it............

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!

Quoted message said:

The voices told me to post it.

Oh, the voices are always telling me to do stuff, but I ust shout at them in a loud voice and say
'Nooooo! I shall be conrtrolled no longer by you whims!' and they go away for a beer and a [censored] and
leave me alone a while......

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Here, this might cheer you up - Kath right, well, she likes to have a

cruel

Quoted message said:

giggle at times, and when we were sat in the town centre one sunny

shopping

Quoted message said:

day, eating pies, she threw handful after handful of crumbs at her feet

for

Quoted message said:

them there wing-ed rats, and we collected quite a host of 'em, prolly

about

Quoted message said:

50, right there, at us feet like.

'Ahhhh' says this little lad nearby us to his granddad, 'look at all

them

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

birds eatin' pie! Innit great!?!'. Kath, well, she inflates this 'ere

big

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

bag she has with a gret big breath, and slaps it real hard and fast

between

Quoted message said:

her hands. Biggest bag-bang I ever heard I tells ya!

Well (heheheheh), all them flying rodents 'exploded' like a leaky gas

cooker

Great simile :-)

Happy to have helped old chap!

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

outward and upward in a very frightened flurry. The little kid, well, he [censored] himself and got
blinded by all flying feathers and dust and stuff,

and

Quoted message said:

the granddad, well, he fell off his bench in mad fits of laughter and giggles! 'Thanks' says
th'ewd fella, 'I needed that! heeeeehahahahah!'.

Quoted message said:

ROLTLMAO! Now that's pigeons put to good use!!!!!!!!!

Oh aye and yes indeedy! And, what's more, she thunked up this 'ere pigeon rusery all by herself -
you can see why I love her so ',;~}~

Shaun aRe - Life is good, especially considering the alternative............

Andy Chequer said:

Kill the pigeons, kill yourself.

b3ta.commind controlOpen ↗

More pigeon mischief:-

thomasscott.netpigeonstreetOpen ↗

They'll be from the B3ta newsletter then...

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

You oughta [censored] on the pigeon - that'd learn it!

I'd like to. I've just been out on the Orange (drop in a P45, such is the glamorous nature of my
days off) and it rained quite heavily, which has rinsed off the birdshit, but also the paint that
lay underneath. It must have had a curry last night. Binkie is also shat on, but the anodising
hasn't noticed.

Doesn't birdshit have a high level of ammonia in it?

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!

Quoted message said:

The voices told me to post it.

You're lucky. Mine tell me to set fire to stuff...

Quoted message said:

ROLTLMAO! Now that's pigeons put to good use!!!!!!!!!

Can't you make pigeons explode by feeding them bicarbonate of soda? IIRC, pigeons have no way of
egressing excess gas, so when bicarbonate of soda mixes with their stomach contents, well, you get
the idea. Of course, I've never tried it, so it could be one of them urban legends.

--
a.m-b FAQ: t-online.deambfaq.htmOpen ↗

b.bmx FAQ: t-online.debmx faq.htmOpen ↗

Quoted message said:

Can't you make pigeons explode by feeding them bicarbonate of soda? IIRC, pigeons have no way of
egressing excess gas, so when bicarbonate of soda mixes with their stomach contents, well, you get
the idea. Of course, I've never tried it, so it could be one of them urban legends.

I don't know about - I'd imaginge that if they can't they'd just cark it via internal hemorrhaging
from the pressure rather than going pop in an interesting way.

But if you need to defend yourself against swarms of pigeons who want to live in your house, I can
personally reccommend the humble water pistol as the right tool for the job.

Andy Chequer

In article <[email hidden]>, "Andy Chequer"
<andy@(youdontwantthisbitinit)thisisasparagus.com> says...

Quoted message said:

I just do.

Feathery stinking [censored].

I've always despised their pointless whoo whooing and that [censored] wheezy noise they make when they
fly. And their pointy beaks. And their feet. And their complete disregard for British queing
etiquette.

I seem to have one in my (er, Rob's) bike shed. I don't know how it got in there. It must have
been in there all night. And it's taken a giant [censored] on my bike. And that_makes_me_maD.

Andy Chequer

Disclaimer: The author acknowledges (on reflection) that it's actually deeply eccentric parenting,
excessive consumption of alcohol and herbal remedies, several nasty head traumas and prolonged
exposure to bureaucratic incompetent academic types that makes me mad. The pigeons are an
annoyance in comparison.

Mad. Mad I tell you. Baahahahahahaaaaaaa!

Ahahaahahhahahahhaahahahhahhaaaaaa!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!

Speaking of pigeons, there's one sitting outside my window now watching me and pecking at the glass.
hang on, i'll get a picture... Nope, saw me moving toward it, oh well.

My grand father usually removes the pigeon problem at his house with a small cylindrical piece of
lead that's pointed at one end.

He tried those twirling stick things that knock them down, but they just end up sitting on those and
going for a ride. it turned out to be all the rage for the pigeons in town as there were a few days
that poor little fiberglass stick would be sagging way down with 4 pigeons on each one. hence why
the lead solution took effect. course, then he decided he didn't like the red squirrels either.
Remember that old trick of adding lots of pepper to the birdseed to keep the squirrels from eating
it? well, it doesn't work. they eat a little seed, run over to the bird bath for a drink, and come
back for more seed.

~Travis
--
travis57 at megalink dot net

travis5765.homelinux.net, Primary Administrator TF Custom Electronics, Owner/Founder/Developer
(current project: Automotive exhaust flame-thrower)

"Huw Pritchard" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

On Fri, 02 May 2003 11:48:34 +0100, Andy Chequer did issue forth:

Quoted message said:

I just do.

Feathery stinking [censored].

I think pigeons quite like you, they seem to feel the urge to come and see you. After all, you
are possibly the only person in history to have used the sentence "The pigeons have [censored] on my
tape deck".

Andy Chequer

Andy Chequer <andy@(youdontwantthisbitinit)thisisasparagus.com> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Can't you make pigeons explode by feeding them bicarbonate of soda? IIRC, pigeons have no way of
egressing excess gas, so when bicarbonate of soda mixes with their stomach contents, well, you
get the idea. Of course, I've never tried it, so it could be one of them urban legends.

I don't know about - I'd imaginge that if they can't they'd just cark it

via

Quoted message said:

internal hemorrhaging from the pressure rather than going pop in an interesting way.

But if you need to defend yourself against swarms of pigeons who want to live in your house, I can
personally reccommend the humble water pistol as the right tool for the job.

Andy Chequer

Yeah! Filled with a bicarb solution! Whoooooo!

Shaun aRe - Kill all vegans. But kill all pigeons first. Bicarb makes your teeth all slippy.

Quoted message said:

Yeah! Filled with a bicarb solution! Whoooooo!

Quoted message said:

Shaun aRe - Kill all vegans. But kill all pigeons first. Bicarb makes your teeth all slippy.

I find those Arm and Hammer toothpaste adverts rather unsettling. They say "It must be the baking
powder". Which kind of implies that they're not sure about it either.

Either way, kill the vegans, as you said.

Andy Chequer

Andy Chequer <andy@(youdontwantthisbitinit)thisisasparagus.com> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Yeah! Filled with a bicarb solution! Whoooooo!

Quoted message said:

Shaun aRe - Kill all vegans. But kill all pigeons first. Bicarb makes

your

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

teeth all slippy.

I find those Arm and Hammer toothpaste adverts rather unsettling. They say "It must be the baking
powder". Which kind of implies that they're not

sure

Quoted message said:

about it either.

Aye - they don't even say what 'it' is, so, they're obviosooly totally clueless about toothpaste.

Quoted message said:

Either way, kill the vegans, as you said.

Yes, and then barbecue their flesh, after marinating it in sliced Scotch Bonnet chiles, crushed
garlic, dark soy sauce, brown sugar, black pepper, fresh grated ginger, lime juice and zest. Then
feed some to any remaining vegans still alive you can find before killing them too and doing the
same to their flesh. Feed the rest to the starving Africans all over the world.

Shaun aRe

"Shaun Rimmer" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Andy Chequer <andy@(youdontwantthisbitinit)thisisasparagus.com> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Yeah! Filled with a bicarb solution! Whoooooo!

Quoted message said:

Shaun aRe - Kill all vegans. But kill all pigeons first. Bicarb makes

your

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

teeth all slippy.

I find those Arm and Hammer toothpaste adverts rather unsettling. They

say

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

"It must be the baking powder". Which kind of implies that they're not

sure

Quoted message said:

about it either.

Aye - they don't even say what 'it' is, so, they're obviosooly totally clueless about toothpaste.

Quoted message said:

Either way, kill the vegans, as you said.

Yes, and then barbecue their flesh, after marinating it in sliced Scotch Bonnet chiles, crushed
garlic, dark soy sauce, brown sugar, black pepper, fresh grated ginger, lime juice and zest. Then
feed some to any remaining vegans still alive you can find before killing them too and doing the
same to their flesh. Feed the rest to the starving Africans all over the world.

Do you want fries with that?

Andy Chequer

"Shaun Rimmer" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Either way, kill the vegans, as you said.

Yes, and then barbecue their flesh, after marinating it in sliced Scotch Bonnet chiles, crushed
garlic, dark soy sauce, brown sugar, black pepper, fresh grated ginger, lime juice and zest. Then
feed some to any remaining vegans still alive you can find before killing them too and doing the
same to their flesh. Feed the rest to the starving Africans all over the world.

Who ironically wouldn't be starving if more of the planets resources were put into growing grains
and crops for human consumption instead of feeding them to cattle and then butchering them.

Steve E.

In article <[email hidden]>, "spademan o---[\) *"
<[email hidden]> says...

Quoted message said:

"Shaun Rimmer" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Either way, kill the vegans, as you said.

Yes, and then barbecue their flesh, after marinating it in sliced Scotch Bonnet chiles, crushed
garlic, dark soy sauce, brown sugar, black pepper, fresh grated ginger, lime juice and zest.
Then feed some to any remaining vegans still alive you can find before killing them too and
doing the same to their flesh. Feed the rest to the starving Africans all over the world.

Who ironically wouldn't be starving if more of the planets resources were put into growing grains
and crops for human consumption instead of feeding them to cattle and then butchering them.

Steve E.

How true, but i do like a good burger, or a nice piece of steak.

~Travis
--
travis57 at megalink dot net

travis5765.homelinux.net, Primary Administrator TF Custom Electronics, Owner/Founder/Developer
(current project: Automotive exhaust flame-thrower)

"Andy Chequer" <andy@(youdontwantthisbitinit)thisisasparagus.com> wrote in
:"]news:[email hidden]:

Quoted message said:

I just do.

That's as maybe, but they don't half taste nice.

--
How To Handle A Troll www.angelfire.com/space/usenet

"Kouros" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

"Andy Chequer" <andy@(youdontwantthisbitinit)thisisasparagus.com> wrote in
:"]news:[email hidden]:

Quoted message said:

I just do.

That's as maybe, but they don't half taste nice.

Sentence Police? Sentence Police!

Bill "wtf's goin' on here?" S.

Andy Chequer <andy@(youdontwantthisbitinit)thisisasparagus.com> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

"Huw Pritchard" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

On Fri, 02 May 2003 11:48:34 +0100, Andy Chequer did issue forth:

Quoted message said:

I just do.

Feathery stinking [censored].

I think pigeons quite like you, they seem to feel the urge to come and

see

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

you. After all, you are possibly the only person in history to have

used

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

the sentence "The pigeons have [censored] on my tape deck".

So, someone's got 'em trained well then.............

Shaun aRe.........

Andy Chequer <andy@(youdontwantthisbitinit)thisisasparagus.com> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

"Shaun Rimmer" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Andy Chequer <andy@(youdontwantthisbitinit)thisisasparagus.com> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Either way, kill the vegans, as you said.

Yes, and then barbecue their flesh, after marinating it in sliced Scotch Bonnet chiles, crushed
garlic, dark soy sauce, brown sugar, black

pepper,

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

fresh grated ginger, lime juice and zest. Then feed some to any

remaining

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

vegans still alive you can find before killing them too and doing the

same

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

to their flesh. Feed the rest to the starving Africans all over the

world.

Quoted message said:

Do you want fries with that?

Lambs fries?...........

Shaun aRe - it's all a load of bollocks..........

spademan o---[) * <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

"Shaun Rimmer" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Either way, kill the vegans, as you said.

Yes, and then barbecue their flesh, after marinating it in sliced Scotch Bonnet chiles, crushed
garlic, dark soy sauce, brown sugar, black

pepper,

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

fresh grated ginger, lime juice and zest. Then feed some to any

remaining

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

vegans still alive you can find before killing them too and doing the

same

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

to their flesh. Feed the rest to the starving Africans all over the

world.

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Who ironically wouldn't be starving if more of the planets resources were put into growing grains
and crops for human consumption instead of feeding them to cattle and then butchering them.

Yeah, but rare cooked bean burger steaks don't bleed when you bite 'em.

Shaun aRe