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An apology to the members of rec.bicycle.misc

Started by Robotics Institute · · Last activity · 13 posts · 432 views

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Road Cycling
Published
18 August 2004
Last activity
20 August 2004
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Robotics Institute
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  1. We at the institute would like to apologize for any inconvenience
    caused by an AI experiment that was stolen by some practical joker and
    released into the wild.

    The experiment was an AI program that is at quite an early stage. It
    can handle elementary English, and once given a task to perform will
    attempt to perform it to the best of its ability.

    Unfortunately that ability is severely limited because it is incapable
    of comprehending simple logic, and because of its poor grasp of normal
    human interaction. These failings cause it to prosecute its task with
    an absurd zealousness, and to become extremely offensive whenever its
    shortcomings are pointed out.

    We believe that it might have been set the task of acting as a net cop
    to complain about top posters, and that this is a newgroup that it is
    likely to target. It was probably released with the name "DRS" =
    Dickbrained Robotic System. If you encounter this entity, DO NOT
    ATTEMPT TO REASON WITH IT. It is incapable of reacting logically once
    it has engaged upon its task (which it often does quite erroneously),
    and acts more like a obsessive compulsive nine year old than a
    rational adult human being. IT also has a foul mouth when riled.

    Once again, our apologies for any inconvenience.

  2. "Robotics Institute" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
    news:[email hidden]...

    Quoted message said:

    We at the institute would like to apologize for any inconvenience
    caused by an AI experiment that was stolen by some practical joker and
    released into the wild.

    The experiment was an AI program that is at quite an early stage. It
    can handle elementary English, and once given a task to perform will
    attempt to perform it to the best of its ability.

    Unfortunately that ability is severely limited because it is incapable
    of comprehending simple logic, and because of its poor grasp of normal
    human interaction. These failings cause it to prosecute its task with
    an absurd zealousness, and to become extremely offensive whenever its
    shortcomings are pointed out.

    We believe that it might have been set the task of acting as a net cop
    to complain about top posters, and that this is a newgroup that it is
    likely to target. It was probably released with the name "DRS" =
    Dickbrained Robotic System. If you encounter this entity, DO NOT
    ATTEMPT TO REASON WITH IT. It is incapable of reacting logically once
    it has engaged upon its task (which it often does quite erroneously),
    and acts more like a obsessive compulsive nine year old than a
    rational adult human being. IT also has a foul mouth when riled.

    Once again, our apologies for any inconvenience.

    Is it named "Red Cloud"

  3. <snip> It was probably released with the name "DRS" =

    Quoted message said:
    Quoted message said:

    Dickbrained Robotic System. <snip>

    Quoted message said:

    Is it named "Red Cloud"

    He gave the name in his post. On the other hand, maybe "Red Cloud" is a
    weird variant....

    Pat in Tx

  4. "di" <[email hidden]> wrote in message news:%iPUc.243$A91.166@okepread02...

    Quoted message said:


    "Robotics Institute" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
    news:[email hidden]...

    Quoted message said:

    We at the institute would like to apologize for any inconvenience
    caused by an AI experiment that was stolen by some practical joker and
    released into the wild.

    The experiment was an AI program that is at quite an early stage. It
    can handle elementary English, and once given a task to perform will
    attempt to perform it to the best of its ability.

    Unfortunately that ability is severely limited because it is incapable
    of comprehending simple logic, and because of its poor grasp of normal
    human interaction. These failings cause it to prosecute its task with
    an absurd zealousness, and to become extremely offensive whenever its
    shortcomings are pointed out.

    We believe that it might have been set the task of acting as a net cop
    to complain about top posters, and that this is a newgroup that it is
    likely to target. It was probably released with the name "DRS" =
    Dickbrained Robotic System. If you encounter this entity, DO NOT
    ATTEMPT TO REASON WITH IT. It is incapable of reacting logically once
    it has engaged upon its task (which it often does quite erroneously),
    and acts more like a obsessive compulsive nine year old than a
    rational adult human being. IT also has a foul mouth when riled.

    Once again, our apologies for any inconvenience.

    Is it named "Red Cloud"

    Red Cloud was the beta release...

  5. Wed, 18 Aug 2004 18:32:29 -0500, <[email hidden]>,

    Pat said:


    <snip> It was probably released with the name "DRS" =

    Quoted message said:
    Quoted message said:

    Dickbrained Robotic System. <snip>

    Quoted message said:

    Is it named "Red Cloud"

    He gave the name in his post. On the other hand, maybe "Red Cloud" is a
    weird variant....


    "Red Cloud" is a ZI, for Zero Intelligence.

    Pronounced "zedee", "zip-eye" or "nought-eye".

    "Red Cloud" is the code name of a secret project gone bad. It was
    initially conceived as a grammar bot for monitoring popular usage on
    the internet. Its unstated mission was to define and claim
    intellectual property rights to the most often abused phrases.
    Thereafter, unlicensed offenders' credit accounts would be accessed to
    extract the automatic fines

    Fortunately the program was infected with the 3L1T3 virus early in its
    learning stages and is now nothing but a little annoyance.

    I heard that group has been reassigned to a similar government project
    creating a punctuation bot for taxing smileys.
    --
    zk

  6. Little Meow said:

    He is living his great dream.
    How many of us can say the same?

    once again someone is rubbing my face in the [censored] that is the non-existent
    idaho hallucinogen trade.
    --
    david reuteler
    [email hidden]

  7. Quoted message said:

    "Red Cloud" is the code name of a secret project gone bad.

    It didn't actually go bad, it was too expensive.

    The HMR-9 (256th Black Helicopter Maintenance Group) was tasked to
    support Operation Red Cloud in 2000.

    The specific mission was to confuse and confound the enemy, which
    the 256th executed with distinction until budget restraints dictated
    that the personnel be reassigned to other units.

    Members of the 256th are currently serving with excellence in the
    451st "Baby Bayoneteers" Black Helicoper Assault Force, as well as
    the Black Helicopter Development Program, based at a secret location.

    --

    _______________________ALL AMIGA IN MY MIND_______________________
    ------------------"Buddy Holly, the Texas Elvis"------------------
    __________306.350.357.38>>[email hidden]__________

  8. 19 Aug 2004 05:31:43 GMT,
    <[email hidden]>,

    David Reuteler said:
    Little Meow said:

    He is living his great dream.
    How many of us can say the same?

    once again someone is rubbing my face in the [censored] that is the non-existent
    idaho hallucinogen trade.

    Im sure you could score some amanita munching reindeer pee.

    Good buzz except it leaves you talking to long dead ancestors for a
    couple of days. Tastes kinda like Tecate.

    No flash backs. The psychoactive ingredient, muscimol, isn't detected
    with normal drug test procedures just don't try driving.

    HTH
    --
    zk

  9. Thu, 19 Aug 2004 02:41:59 -0400, <[email hidden]>,

    Eric S. Sande said:
    Quoted message said:

    "Red Cloud" is the code name of a secret project gone bad.

    It didn't actually go bad, it was too expensive.

    Probably all the cat food for the unit's mascot.
    --
    zk

  10. Zoot Katz said:

    Im sure you could score some amanita munching reindeer pee.

    perhaps i'll skip the reindeer filter. no amanita down here, it seems:

    http://www.shroomery.org/index/par/12182

    lotsa others, tho. a big step up from minnesota at any rate. too cold i
    would think, but they seem to grow amply in south minneapolis. probably
    for the same reason meth materializes in northern suburb bathtubs with
    such alarming regularity.
    --
    david reuteler
    [email hidden]

  11. "Zoot Katz" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
    news:[email hidden]...

    Quoted message said:

    19 Aug 2004 05:31:43 GMT,
    <[email hidden]>,

    David Reuteler said:
    Little Meow said:

    He is living his great dream.
    How many of us can say the same?

    once again someone is rubbing my face in the [censored] that is the


    non-existent

    Quoted message said:
    Quoted message said:

    idaho hallucinogen trade.

    Im sure you could score some amanita munching reindeer pee.

    Good buzz except it leaves you talking to long dead ancestors for a
    couple of days. Tastes kinda like Tecate.

    No flash backs. The psychoactive ingredient, muscimol, isn't detected
    with normal drug test procedures just don't try driving.

    HTH
    --
    zk

    uh, muscarine...very bad for liver...

  12. 19 Aug 2004 20:00:28 GMT,
    <[email hidden]>, David Reuteler

    Quoted message said:
    Zoot Katz said:

    Im sure you could score some amanita munching reindeer pee.

    perhaps i'll skip the reindeer filter. no amanita down here, it seems:

    http://www.shroomery.org/index/par/12182


    Then it looks like you're in worse shape than you thought.
    They grow as far north as Alaska and Yukon so I'd guess it has more to
    do with moisture or elevation.

    Quoted message said:

    lotsa others, tho. a big step up from minnesota at any rate. too cold i
    would think, but they seem to grow amply in south minneapolis. probably
    for the same reason meth materializes in northern suburb bathtubs with
    such alarming regularity.

    Psilocybe grows in closets, basements, crawl spaces and garages.
    Around here it pops up quite regularly on lawns.
    --
    zk

  13. Thu, 19 Aug 2004 18:33:19 -0700,
    <[email hidden]>,

    dreaded said:


    uh, muscarine...very bad for liver...

    So's a puncture wound.

    Amanita muscaria only contains about 2 PPM muscarine. The lethal dose
    is ~0.2 gm. for a healthy adult, IOW, it would take ~110,000 kg. of
    fresh A. muscaria to deliver a dangerous dose.
    --
    zk

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