Everything's going well: I'm on the Coker, I've ridden from the car,
across the field, all along the river bank, over the suspension bridge,
along the embankment, down the little twisty passage under the road
bridge, and made it over the zig zag footbridge and then finally
reached Beeston Marina - five miles without a UPD.
At the marina, everyone was friendly. I was asked sensible questions.
I'm starting to feel like a local celebrity - "That's our unicyclist.
Comes through here regularly. Goes everywhere on it, you know...."
Then I've gone all the way tround the nature reserve, up and over the
trickiest hump-backed footbridge of all in the steeper of the two
directions, and I've made it back to the marina without a UPD. The
only minor problem is a slight twinge in the left knee.
From the marina, I made it along the road, and up and over the
fiendishly difficult cobbled bridge, up onto the top of the flood bank,
then I earned gasps of amazement as I swooped down the steep grassy
bank onto the football pitch.
And now, I'm ambling along at a steady 8 mph or so, the path empty,
insects buzzing, massive dragonflies everywhere, the sweet smell of
rosebay willow herb in my nostrils, and the happy sound of children
playing in the cool waters of the river down to my right. The sun is
out, the sky is blue, and the only cloud to spoil the view is that my
left knee is twanging a bit, and my foot feels like it's badly
positioned on the pedal.
Then a particularly clever brain cell has an idea. In fact, more
likely than not, a few disgruntled brain cells got together around the
water cooler - maybe the sort of brain cells that control something
unglamorous like peristalsis in the lower bowel. And now one of them
has had an idea - an idea that could earn him his ticket to a cushy
posting somewhere exciting., like the frontal cortex...
Of course, proper procedure is to get all ideas checked and ratified to
ensure a consistent approach within the remit of the mission statement,
but this little clique of brain cells knows that the only result of
that would be for someone else to take the credit. Either that or the
idea would be changed beyond all recognition by committee, implemented
way to late and with an inadequate budget - and then who'd get the
blame when it all went wrong?
So this is the time for the brain cells to be bold, to show they can
make a difference, make a name for themselves. They bide their time,
until the supervisory brain cells are away, looking at a heron on the
other bank of the river, then they make their move...
Quickly, they remove the left foot from the pedal, and flex the left
knee, figuring that by the time the knee has flexed a couple of times,
the pedal will have come back round so that the foot goes straight back
on in the right position. Brilliant!
Except it doesn't work like that. There's a reason why new ideas have
to be approved by senior management - because other departments might
be involved. On this occasion, it is the UPD Department, followed by
the Sprinting Department. The Department of Swearing and Expletives
also has quite a lot of input.
--
Mikefule
If you meet someone superior to yourself, imagine yourself his equal; if
you meet someone inferior, look carefully at yourself.
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