Will Brink said:Ok, a little simplistic, but most of it is dead on.
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Things you have to believe to vote Republican today:
[snip]
Well, Will, since you're becoming a born-again Democrat,
you should like this one, especially the ones on gun control:
Things You Have to Believe to Be a Democrat Today
By Jay D. Dyson.
1. Drug addiction is a disease that should be treated with
compassion and understanding...unless the addict is a Conservative
talk show host.
2. The United States should be subservient to the United Nations.
Our highest authority is not God and the U.S. Constitution, but a
collective of tinpot dictators (and their appeasers) and the U.N.
charter.
3. Government should relax drug laws regardless of the potential
for abuse, but should pass new and unconstitutional anti-gun laws
because of the potential for abuse.
4. Calls for increased security after a terrorist attack are
"political opportunism," but calls for more gun control after a
criminal's spree killing is "a logical solution."
5. "It Takes a Village" means everything you want it to
mean...except creeping socialist government involvement in the nuclear
family.
6. Disarming innocent, law-abiding citizens helps protect them from
evil, lawless terrorists and other thugs.
7. Slowly killing an unborn innocent by tearing it apart limb from
limb is good. Slowly killing an innocent disabled woman by starving
her to death is good. Quickly killing terrorists, convicted murderers
and rapists is BAD.
8. Every religion should be respected and promoted in public
schools the name of diversity, so long as that religion isn't
Christianity.
9. The best way to support our troops is to criticize their every
move. This will let them know they're thought of often.
10. Sexual harassment, groping and drug use are degenerate if you're
the governor of California, but it's okay if you're the President of
the United States.
11. Sex education should be required so that teens can make informed
choices about sex, but gun education should be banned because it will
turn those same teens into maniacal mass-murderers.
12. Minorities are blameless for the hatred of the racist; women are
blameless for the hatred of the rapist; but America is entirely at
fault for the hatred of Islamofascists.
13. Poverty is the cause of all terrorism...which is why the leaders
of al Qaeda are typically U.S.-educated and were raised in wealth and
luxury.
14. The Patriot Act is a horrific compromise of Constitutional
rights, but anti-Second Amendment laws and Franklin Roosevelt's
Presidential Order 9066 must be regarded "reasonable precautions."
15. We should unquestioningly honor the wishes of our age-old
allies, even when said allies no longer act like our allies and have
vested economic interests in propping up our enemies.
16. Socialized medicine is the ideal. Nevermind all those people who
spend every dime they have to get to the United States so they can get
quality medical care...that their nation's socialized medical
community can't provide.
17. Michael Moore, Noam Chomsky and Natalie Maines are perfectly
qualified to criticize our leadership, but Arnold Schwarzenegger,
Charlton Heston, and Dennis Miller are just ignorant political hacks.
18. John Lott's research on how gun ownership reduces crime is junk
science, but Michael Bellesiles is still an authority on why gun
control is good (even though he was forced to resign from Emory due to
research misconduct over his book "Arming America"😉.
19. Bush's toppling the Saddam regime was a "diversion," but
Clinton's lobbing a couple of cruise missiles at Iraq in the thick of
the Lewinsky sex scandal was "sending a message."
20. A president who lies under oath is okay, but a president who
references sixteen words from an allies' intelligence report should be
dragged through the streets naked.
21. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the
Constitution, which include banning Second Amendment rights and
shopping the courts for judges sympathetic to causes that wouldn't
pass in any legislature.
22. "The People" in the First Amendment means The People; "the
People" in the Fourth Amendment means The People; "the People" in the
Ninth Amendment means The People; "the People" in the Tenth Amendment
means The People; but "the People" in the Second Amendment (ratified
in 1791) means the National Guard (created by an Act of Congress in
1903).
23. You support a woman's "right to choose" to kill her unborn
child, but don't believe that same woman is competent enough to
homeschool the children she bears.
24. Proven draft-dodging is irrelevant, but baseless claims of AWOL
status is crucial to national security.
25. Threatening to boycott Dr. Laura's and Rush Limbaugh's
advertisers is exercising Freedom of Speech, but threatening to
boycott CBS's "The Reagans" and Liberal actors over their asinine
anti-American remarks is censorship and McCarthyist blacklisting.
