Jim Flom said:"Steven L. Sheffield" wrote in...
Quoted message said:
How about a recognition that with regards to children,
divorced parents
who
Quoted message said:can get along are better than married parents who hate
each other ... And lots and lots of money in the
settlement?
I was really just curious why Lance and Kik divorced.
However, characterizing it as you do, who can disagree,
although I don't follow how a couple automatically goes
from "hating" one another in marriage to suddenly "getting
along" afterwards. It's usually much uglier and more
complicated than that. And the kids are always the
victims. There has amassed over the last 30 years or so
substantial amounts of sociological evidence that even the
general media has reported indicating that kids are better
off in intact families even with less than ideal marriages
than the serial marriage/divorce-at-a-whim, pattern of a
generation of self-absorbed, me-first, kids-as-accessories
narcissists.
I don't disagree with you in the slightest ... But let me
give you some insight to where I'm coming from.
My parents split up when I was 3 years old; my mom re-
married when I was 5 and was divorced again when I was 7,
although she and her second ex-husband continued dating off-and-
on for a number of years afterwards until my mom met the
man destined to be her third husband, but they still get
along today ...
Her third marriage (when I was almost 13) has lasted over 25
years however ... thankfully, quite happily ... her current
husband is a great man, and as I'm getting older, I'm
beginning to recognize that he is the closest thing I've had
to a dad for most of my life ...
I don't think that a couple can go from "hating" each other
to **suddenly** "getting along" afterwards ... But I do
think that when couples are miserable in a marriage, and
can't work things out within the context of that marriage,
it's better to separate and/or divorce.
And as evidenced by my mother's own second marriage, it is
possible to reconcile some of those "irreconcilable
differences", making it possible to get along.
Quoted message said:listarchives.his.comsmartmarriagesOpen ↗
.0110/msg00002.html
frc.orgget.cfmOpen ↗
See also
1. Pamela J. Smock, "The Economic Costs of Marital
Disruption for Young Women over the Past Two Decades."
Demography 30 (1993): 353-371.
2. John Crouch, "Virginia's No-Fault Divorce Reform Bill,"
interview with John Crouch and Jim Parmelee on
Television Channel 10, Fairfax, VA,
www.divorcereform.org.
3. Robert Coombs, "Marital Status and Personal Well-Being:
A Literature Review," Family Relations 40 (1991):97-
102; I. M. Joung, et al., "Differences in Self-Reported
Morbidity by Marital Status and by Living Arrangement,"
International Journal of Epidemiology 23 (1994): 91-97.
4. Linda Waite and Maggie Gallagher, The Case for Marriage
(New York: Doubleday, 2000), p. 148.
5. Harold J. Morowitz, "Hiding in the Hammond Report,"
Hospital Practice (August 1975), p. 39.
6. James S. Goodwin, William C. Hunt, Charles R. Key and
Jonathan M. Sarmet, "The Effect of Marital Status on
Stage, Treatment, and Survival of Cancer Patients,"
Journal of the American Medical Association 258 (1987):
3125-3130.
7. Nadine F. Marks and James D. Lambert, "Marital Status
Continuity and Change among Young and Midlife Adults:
Longitudinal Effects on Psychological Well-being,"
Journal of Family Issues 19 (1998): 652-686.
J "don't get me started" F
--
Steven L. Sheffield stevens at veloworks dot com veloworks
at worldnet dot ay tea tee dot net bellum pax est libertas
servitus est ignoratio vis est ess ay ell tea ell ay kay ee
sea aye tee why you ti ay aitch aitch tee tea pea colon [for
word] slash [four ward] slash double-you double-yew double-
ewe dot veloworks dot com [four word] slash
