Cry me a river

Preston Crawford said:

Bill Sornson said:

Dave Stallard said:

I was coming back from my weekly century Saturday. Ride out to
Wachusett Res., a loop around, and then back to Cambridge, finishing
on the Minuteman Bikepath. Got a late start, then had ice cream in
Lexington, so it was dark. I didn't have my light, because it
doesn't fit well on the bars with my handlebar bag, where I keep my
folding spare for longer trips.

I was moving slowly because I knew there were car-blocking stanchions
in the middle of the path at a certain point. Finally, I spotted
them, and moved ahead. I saw a couple standing off to the side,
almost as if waiting for me to pass. I pass them, and then the woman
calls out plaintively, "Do you know how to fix the gear on a bike?".

"Fix the *gear* on a bike?" I repeated. "What do you mean?". I ain't
got no freewheel remover on board, lady.

"I had an accident. The chain came off" she said "and now the wheel
won't turn". I knew I was in for it now.

"On the front or the back?". The question seemed to throw her a bit,
then she said it was the front.

"OK,", I replied. "Just pull it back on!".

"I *tried*, but I couldn't. Will you help me - sir .. please?", she
answerer. Her last plea ended in a teeny whine.

Now, I do not like getting bike chain grease on my hands. It is
filthy. It is vile. It sticks to things. I *especially* do not
like getting it on my hands on behalf of a grown adult whom I don't
know, and who should be able to do it for herself. And whom I
already didn't much care for.

"I had an accident. I hit those poles and flew up in the air". she
went on. "I got caught out after nightfall. I have a long way to go
in the dark back to Cambridge". (7 miles, gentle downhill). "I'm
very badly hurt".

No, lady, being very badly hurt means you have to go to the hospital
and your condition is listed as "serious". I told her to hold the
bike, and took a look. In fairness to her, it was jammed in there,
and it was hard to see where it was caught in the dark. Meanwhile,
she's on the cellphone to friends, "Bob and Carol, I'm out here on
the bikepath. I've had an accident. And I'm a miserable unmarried
40-something female". (OK, I made that last one up). She was getting
only voicemail. The bike was tipping over. I yelled at her to hold
the bike steady.
Meanwhile, her presumed companion turned out to be only a passerby who
was lending her his cell phone. Seeing her in good hands (and
probably as sick of her as I was), he moved on. I took another
grip on the chain, and it popped out. I put it back on the
chainwheel, told her to lift the bike, and then spun the pedals. The
back wheel turned. Good to go.

"Will it work now?", she asked. "Yes," I said. "Oh thank you, sir".
I just rubbed my greasy hands in the sand, stood up, and mumbled
something like "You're welcome". She headed off, pedaling in the 45
rpm cadence common to her species, her very serious injuries
apparently posing no hindrance. I got my bike, got on, and headed
out behind her.
Now, though, it seemed as though I had been converted from Good
Samaritan to Unknown Male Coming Up Behind Her in the Dark. She
seemed fearful, somehow. I just wanted to pass her. I strained
ahead, making sure the opposite lane didn't have anything oncoming. I
didn't want to stay in that lane too long, for sure. Just as I
was opposite, she drifted right! "Look out!" I yelled at her
(again). Then I picked up speed and headed for home.

Sure is pathetic...THAT YOU WORRY ABOUT GETTING A LITTLE CHAIN GRIME ON YOUR
HANDS! Boo frickin' hoo indeed.

The poor lady was stranded after dark with a bike that wouldn't work, and
had also taken a fall. Of course she was scared and emotional. A little
compassion and encouragement would have gone a long way, but instead you
"yelled" at her a few times and basically made her feel even worse. Way to
go.

The funny thing about this is that it reminds me of my wife. She once
tipped over while learning to ride clipless. She was very
[censored]/emotional about it. Something that seemingly would be no big deal
for some of us, I suppose, who ride a lot more. But in the end I did the
right thing. Consoled her, took her to the hospital where she got some
stitches, told her not to worry about it and to get back on and
eventually she went on to keep riding. She's done a half-Ironman and
dropped 150lbs.

But she got emotional over a wreck that wasn't that serious. So I guess
in Dave's book she's a wuss.

Preston

Why are you putting thoughts in Dave's head?

Geez, and everyone yells at Dave for being uncompassionate.
Pot, Kettle, Black.

Scott

Bob said:

The entire tone of his tale suggests to me that he thinks being
obnoxious and yelling at people that are already upset is somehow
better than being whiny. It's not better, just different.

He didn't just stop and yell at her. He yelled when she started to drop
the bike she was supposed to be holding as he was pulling on the chain.
And he yelled when she drifted in front of her as he was riding by.
Both appear acceptable situation to yell at someone as you need their
attention "right now".

He stopped and helped her. That, IMHO, it what matters most.

Rich

Leo Lichtman said:

"Rich" wrote: (clip) An [censored] whould have just pushed her over and went
on by. And maybe rode over her foot or something. Yea. And spit on her.
Twice.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Nothing personal, Rich, but why are you raising the bar so high? Is it so
you won't feel like an [censored] yourself?

I felt the bar for *NOT* being an [censored] had been raised too high. He
stopped to help, but because he wasn't as courteous as possible people
thought he was an [censored].

There's a big gap between being a *perfect* good samaritan and an
[censored], and IMHO Dave was far closer to the perfect good samaritan then
he was to an [censored].

Rich

Bill Sornson said:

The poor lady was stranded after dark with a bike that wouldn't work, and
had also taken a fall. Of course she was scared and emotional. A little
compassion and encouragement would have gone a long way

While she might have liked a little compassion and encouragement, what
she needed was her bike fixed. Which he provided.

Preston Crawford said:

The funny thing about this is that it reminds me of my wife.

That explains why you've taken a "Dave wasn't good enough" attitude.

Pete said:

"Dave Stallard" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

For some reason the original message isn't available, so I am replying
to this one instead....

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Now, I do not like getting bike chain grease on my hands. It is filthy.
It is vile. It sticks to things. I *especially* do not like getting it
on my hands on behalf of a grown adult whom I don't know, and who should
be able to do it for herself. And whom I already didn't much care for.

Here is a trick, keep a pair of needlenose pliers handy, stick the nose
above the chain, where it should contact the bottom of the sprocket,
with the nose in the between tooth valley. Reverse pedal holding the
pliers in that same valley, the chain should end up sitting a top the
pliers, then just remove the pliers, and it will end up back on the
sprocket. Suggest to the rider, that they get the deraileurs
re-adjusted as soon as they can, cause something is out of adjustment,
if the chain drops that easily.

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

"I had an accident. I hit those poles and flew up in the air". she went
on. "I got caught out after nightfall. I have a long way to go in the
dark back to Cambridge". (7 miles, gentle downhill). "I'm very badly
hurt".

No, lady, being very badly hurt means you have to go to the hospital and
your condition is listed as "serious". I told her to hold the bike, and
took a look. In fairness to her, it was jammed in there, and it was hard
to see where it was caught in the dark. Meanwhile, she's on the cellphone
to friends, "Bob and Carol, I'm out here on the bikepath. I've had an
accident. And I'm a miserable unmarried 40-something female". (OK, I
made that last one up). She was getting only voicemail. The bike was
tipping over. I yelled at her to hold the bike steady.

Badly hurt means that the numbers dialed on the cell are 9-1-1 not Bob
and Carol. Mind you it also depends on pain threshold, some people need
general anethesia to deal with a small cut, other people could have
field amputation and not feel it much. A good idea is to keep a small
first aid kit with your tools, and know how to use it. Another idea,
keep a small tube of waterless hand cleaner in your kit, works wonders
for bike grease....

W

SlowRider said:

See, Dave? You should know better than to share a tale on usenet.
They'll turn on you faster than you can say, "Bob's your gay uncle."
;-)

It's grating to meet helpless adults -- the Blanche DuBois of the
world. I've spent weekends backpacking with such creatures -- they can
inspire homicide fantasies.

Which, istm, is the point - it's a bit of a fantasy that's being
recounted.. Outwardly we don't express it. Should be ok to share a tale
here, vent a little, exaggerate a tiny bit for the sake of the dramatic 'I
wanted to strangle her with her own greasy chain when she wouldn't hold the
bike', but on the outside it's all grins and 'there ya go, lady'.

When you're riding and the adrenaline is up, so often is the 'cranky
factor', the feeling that 'if that redneck pulls out in front of me I'm
flipping the bird'. So we express that here and hope others say 'yeah, I
get it' and then everyone is vented and calm. Then the next time something
like this happens, we think back at the telling of this tale and inwardly
laugh and handle it with a lot more humor, I think.

Quoted message said:

If I were in her shoes -- if I got stuck someplace frightened and
unprepared, and someone stopped to help -- I wouldn't care if the
person was nice about it, if they could get me going again.

With plenty of 'thank yous' and can I do something for you, here's a fiver,
and so on.

Quoted message said:

She probably tells her friends about the virile genius who stopped to
help her and who then dashed off like a cheetah.

Of course, she must conclude her story with, "I have always depended
upon the kindness of strangers." :-)

Hopefully her friends took her to task for failing to give the kind
stranger a tip or an offer of a coffee, lol.

jj

Quoted message said:

-JR

"Preston Crawford" wrote: (clip) But in the end I did the right thing.
Consoled her, took her to the hospital where she got some stitches,(clip)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
And what would you consider serious, Preston? If she had to take YOU to the
hospital to get some stitches? LOL

Dave Stallard said:

The Martins said:

Your replies to her and your actions have forever ingrained a picture
in her brain............... other bicycle riders are [censored].
Your should have been nice and politely fixed her bike for her.
Instead you came across like a snob.
Thanks for making the rest of us fellow cyclist appear to be the same.

An [censored] - and there are plenty of them - would have ridden away and
refused to help. I fixed her bike for her, didn't I? I only yelled at
her once, when she almost crashed into me (the first time was more of a
"spoke sharply"😉. And I thoughtfully trim attributions in my Usenet
posts.

I'm happy to help people who help themselves, or to show them how to do
stuff. She's probably the third person I've helped on that route,
including giving them tubes and whatnot. Guess you had to be there, but
what [censored] me off about her was:

1) She wouldn't grab her *own* chain and pull it out, even though I was
offering to show her how.

2) She didn't help me by holding the bike. She wasn't paying any
attention; she was trying to reach her friends, as if they were somehow
going to help her, instead of the person who actually was helping her.
Nor was she interested in learning how to fix her bike herself.

3) She was oozing self-pity and dependence, and that is never
attractive. If worst came to worst, she would have had to push her bike
300 yards to a well-lit town center with sidewalk cafes and plenty of
people. No cause for a meltdown.

4) I just hate that style of emotional blackmail.

Dave

I feel your pain. I do MTB patrol in a local reservation and have led a
few group rides. There are often those who dump responsibility on anyone
who'll accept it, and those who seem oblivious to the whole gratitude
thing -- you seem to have gotten the combo platter. Stopping to help
someone at the end of a 100 mile ride, in the dark, gets credit in my
book. I don't think there's any requirement to be all sunshine and
lollipops.

I recall coming upon a rider walking his bike *barefoot* down the road.
He had a nice new bike and full kit. His problem was a broken Campy C10
chain and Look cleats. I happened to have a chain tool, so I fixed it
for him. No big deal, got my hands pretty dirty and lost 15 min from my
ride, but he would have had a *long* walk. He wasn't particularly
grateful, especially for someone who knew how to join a chain (he
insisted) but didn't have the tool himself.

bryanska said:

Dave, I'm with ya. When I ask for help on ANYTHING, I make sure to
<snip> help in any way I can, including
grabbing my OWN dirty parts. (!)

sounds like a personal issue 😉

Quoted message said:

That's how humanity has accepted help - graciously - for a thousand
years. I take pride in how I appreciate help.

Everyone, thank your Samaritan!

--
Paul M. Hobson
Georgia Institute of Technology
http://www.underthecouch.org
..:you may want to fix my email
address before you send anything:.

The entity known as The Martins blurted out:

Quoted message said:

Your replies to her and your actions have forever ingrained a picture in
her brain............... other bicycle riders are [censored].
Your should have been nice and politely fixed her bike for her. Instead
you came across like a snob.
Thanks for making the rest of us fellow cyclist appear to be the same.

You are confusing what he *thought* with what he *said*.

Go back and read again, but pay attention to the quotations this time.
They count.

If you still think he came across as a snob, then I am proud to be a
snob.

Austin

What a "[censored]". You'd think that you actually did something.

Big big shot.... Mr Century. Riding back, forgot your little light.

I hope someday I'm riding along and I see you lying in a ditch by the road.
There you will be crying out "help, help me" "I've fallen, I think I'm
really hurt".

I will slow down, take a long look and laugh.

"I'd help but I was told never help Mr [censored] Head". Mr Century.

"I don't want to get all dirty and there is a lady up the way who needs her
gear fixed. She is very nice, not much of a cyclist but she will appreciate
my assistance". "Sorry, Mr [censored] Head".

"When I get home I will call someone, if I'm not too busy".

"See ya, [censored]"..

====================================================================
"Dave Stallard" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

I was coming back from my weekly century Saturday. Ride out to Wachusett
Res., a loop around, and then back to Cambridge, finishing on the Minuteman
Bikepath. Got a late start, then had ice cream in Lexington, so it was
dark. I didn't have my light, because it doesn't fit well on the bars
with my handlebar bag, where I keep my folding spare for longer trips.

I was moving slowly because I knew there were car-blocking stanchions in
the middle of the path at a certain point. Finally, I spotted them, and
moved ahead. I saw a couple standing off to the side, almost as if
waiting for me to pass. I pass them, and then the woman calls out
plaintively, "Do you know how to fix the gear on a bike?".

"Fix the *gear* on a bike?" I repeated. "What do you mean?". I ain't got
no freewheel remover on board, lady.

"I had an accident. The chain came off" she said "and now the wheel won't
turn". I knew I was in for it now.

"On the front or the back?". The question seemed to throw her a bit, then
she said it was the front.

"OK,", I replied. "Just pull it back on!".

"I *tried*, but I couldn't. Will you help me - sir .. please?", she
answerer. Her last plea ended in a teeny whine.

Now, I do not like getting bike chain grease on my hands. It is filthy.
It is vile. It sticks to things. I *especially* do not like getting it
on my hands on behalf of a grown adult whom I don't know, and who should
be able to do it for herself. And whom I already didn't much care for.

"I had an accident. I hit those poles and flew up in the air". she went
on. "I got caught out after nightfall. I have a long way to go in the
dark back to Cambridge". (7 miles, gentle downhill). "I'm very badly
hurt".

No, lady, being very badly hurt means you have to go to the hospital and
your condition is listed as "serious". I told her to hold the bike, and
took a look. In fairness to her, it was jammed in there, and it was hard
to see where it was caught in the dark. Meanwhile, she's on the cellphone
to friends, "Bob and Carol, I'm out here on the bikepath. I've had an
accident. And I'm a miserable unmarried 40-something female". (OK, I
made that last one up). She was getting only voicemail. The bike was
tipping over. I yelled at her to hold the bike steady.

Meanwhile, her presumed companion turned out to be only a passerby who was
lending her his cell phone. Seeing her in good hands (and probably as
sick of her as I was), he moved on. I took another grip on the chain,
and it popped out. I put it back on the chainwheel, told her to lift the
bike, and then spun the pedals. The back wheel turned. Good to go.

"Will it work now?", she asked. "Yes," I said. "Oh thank you, sir". I
just rubbed my greasy hands in the sand, stood up, and mumbled something
like "You're welcome". She headed off, pedaling in the 45 rpm cadence
common to her species, her very serious injuries apparently posing no
hindrance. I got my bike, got on, and headed out behind her.

Now, though, it seemed as though I had been converted from Good Samaritan
to Unknown Male Coming Up Behind Her in the Dark. She seemed fearful,
somehow. I just wanted to pass her. I strained ahead, making sure the
opposite lane didn't have anything oncoming. I didn't want to stay in
that lane too long, for sure. Just as I was opposite, she drifted right!
"Look out!" I yelled at her (again). Then I picked up speed and headed
for home.

Dave

"bryanska" wrote: (clip) help in any way I can, including grabbing my OWN
dirty parts. (!) (clip)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
This is why my mother trained me to put on clean underwear every morning.
You never know what may happen.

Paul Hobson said:

bryanska said:

Dave, I'm with ya. When I ask for help on ANYTHING, I make sure to
<snip> help in any way I can, including
grabbing my OWN dirty parts. (!)

sounds like a personal issue 😉

Curse my late start this morning! (I was gonna ask if there's a video ;-) )

Holy cow!

bryanska said:

Holy cow!

Yeah, that was awful. {pause} He shouldn't have top-posted it! LOL

Leo Lichtman said:

"Preston Crawford" wrote: (clip) But in the end I did the right thing.
Consoled her, took her to the hospital where she got some stitches,(clip)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
And what would you consider serious, Preston? If she had to take YOU to the
hospital to get some stitches? LOL

:-)

I get what you mean. What I meant to say was that I wouldn't have been
emotional or distraught over it. It was in a parking lot, very low
speed, like 3 miles per hour. Just a clipless tip-over. It required a
few stitches, mostly because it happened to be on the elbow. It wasn't
serious. What she's facing now is serious.

Preston

Rich said:

Preston Crawford said:

The funny thing about this is that it reminds me of my wife.

That explains why you've taken a "Dave wasn't good enough" attitude.

????

Bill Sornson said:

bryanska said:

Holy cow!

Yeah, that was awful. {pause} He shouldn't have top-posted it! LOL

I couldn't figure out if he was being sarcastic or not.

Reading between the lines, I bet Dave came across as the perfect gentleman
through the actual event.

I find hypochondriacs tiresome and would likely have posted a rant here
too - though perhaps expressing more amusement than frustration with our
gravely injured lady. 😉

Maxo:"pay attention, you're doing this yourself next time."
Best. Line. Ever.

"Give a man a fire, he'll be warm for a night.
Set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

Chris