kilikini said:"Sheldon" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...
Quoted message said:
kilikini said:
In any case, I thank his mother every day for giving birth to such a
nice man. I am a lucky woman.
Hmm, don't you think that maybe, just maybe, his father had something
to do with it too? <g>
Yeah, but his father left them when my hubby was about 9. Not in the
picture anymore.
That's sad. But you don't know the real circumstances, in fact neither
does your husband know what really happened. He's still his father's
son no matter what and your husband is how he is mostly because of his
father's genes... and by the way, by the time a person is five years
old their personality is fairly well developed for life... absent a
frontal lobotomy people don't change... your husband's father had a lot
more to do with how he turned out than either of you is willing to
admit. However, it's never too late to alter one's biases, and
especially since you are both so young that bitter axe will become more
and more difficult to grind with time. It seems to me that not only
did your husband's father have a big impact on his son's life he is now
impacting yours, fortunately it's not too late for you to choose
whether that impact will be viewed positively or continue to be
negative. You may be spending your life with this fellow for a long
time, do you want that bitterness I hear to permeate your relationship
or will you chose a positive path, it's your choice to make. Let me
remind you, in one on one relationships especially, history tends to
repeat itself. You two barely know each other, in fact you two barely
know yourselves... if you're supportive of your husband's overtly
displayed attitude he will eventually begin to resent you, because what
he says is not how he really feels. I were you I'd work diligently on
attitude adjustments for both of you, and pronto... you definitely do
not want to spend your life with a fellow who's going to blame each and
every of his personal failures on his father... you'd best not permit
that... you certainly do not want to bring children into the world with
a man whose father is his scapegoat. You have the power to turn things
around... you've nothing to lose and everything to gain.
And stop telling the world that you're poor... you're not poor, you're
rich... you possess the most riches right now you will ever have...your
youth... do not squander it whining... do not ever again mention you
are poor. I'm absolutely amazed at how so many even on this cooking
group, especially on this cooking group, feel compelled to constantly
remind the world of their impoverishedness, and almost always it's
folks who are relatively young. Sheesh, what a horrid self-fullfilling
prophecy... then you're poor because you want to be poor.
Sheldon
