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OT..Texans BBQing in Heaven.....

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General fitness, health and nutrition
Published
17 September 2007
Last activity
18 September 2007
Original author
Bigbazza
Posts
7
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  1. I laughed out when I read this one and thought of those uncouth Texans :-))

    Texans in Heaven

    Gabriel came to the Lord and said " I have to talk to you. We have some
    Texans up here in Heaven who are causing problems. They're swinging on the
    pearly gates, my horn is missing, barbeque sauce is all over their robes,
    their dogs are riding in the chariots, and they're wearing baseball caps and
    cowboy hats instead of their halos.

    They refuse to keep the stairway to Heaven clean. There are watermelon seeds
    and pig feet bones all over the place. Some of them are walking around with
    just one wing."

    The Lord said, "I made them special, Gabriel. Heaven is Home to all my
    children. If you really want to know about real problems, let's call the
    Devil."

    The Devil answered the phone, " Hello? Damn, hold on a minute."

    The Devil returned to the phone, "O.K., I'm back. What can I do for you?"

    The Lord replied, "I just want to know what kind of problems you're having
    down there."

    The Devil said, "Hold on again. I need to check on something."

    After about 5 minutes the Devil returned to the phone and said, "I'm back.
    Now what was the question?"

    The Lord said, "What kind of problems are you having down there?"

    The Devil said, "Man, I don't believe this....Hold on, Lord."

    This time the Devil was gone 15 minutes. The Devil returned and said , "I'm
    sorry Lord, I can't talk right now.

    Them damn Texans done put out the fire and are trying to install air
    conditioning."

    Bigbazza (Barry) Oz

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  3. "Bigbazza" <[email hidden]> wrote:>

    Quoted message said:

    Them damn Texans done put out the fire and are trying to install air
    conditioning."

    Bigbazza (Barry) Oz

    Cute! I notice the Devil sounds like a Texan too!

  4. "cybercat" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
    news:[email hidden]...

    Quoted message said:


    "Bigbazza" <[email hidden]> wrote:>

    Quoted message said:

    Them damn Texans done put out the fire and are trying to install air
    conditioning."

    Bigbazza (Barry) Oz

    Cute! I notice the Devil sounds like a Texan too!

    He certainly sounds like that as well... <G>...

    Bigbazza (Barry) Oz

  5. DEAR MR. BIGBAZZU,

    I DO STAY IN TEXAS NOW BUT, WAS, BORN, AND REARED, IN KENTUCKY. MOST OF THE
    SO CALLED UNCOOTH HERE ARE OUTSIDER TYPES LIKE YOU. THE COWBOY HATS YOU
    MOSTLY SEE HERE ARE MORE LIKEN TO CROOKED BALL CAPS COVERING UP ONE EAR AND
    ON OCCASION THEY WILL COVER BOTH EARS. IM TOLD THESE PEOPLE ARE COME FROM
    THE LIKES OF NEW YORK CITY AND ELSEWEAR. TEXAS DON'T HAVE NO MORE OIL WELLS
    SO MR. BUSH IS OVER TRYING GATHER US UP SOME MORE. IM A HOPING HE DONT'
    BRING A BUNCH OF THEM UGLY SPITTIN HUMPITY BACK CRITTERS ALONG WITH EM. IF
    THEY COME, WE WILL GIVE EM A TRY ON THE SMOKING PIT.

    OT,, IS NOW OVER AND OUT

    FATTY

    "Bigbazza" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
    news:[email hidden]...

    Quoted message said:

    I laughed out when I read this one and thought of those uncouth Texans
    :-))

    Texans in Heaven

    Gabriel came to the Lord and said " I have to talk to you. We have some
    Texans up here in Heaven who are causing problems. They're swinging on the
    pearly gates, my horn is missing, barbeque sauce is all over their robes,
    their dogs are riding in the chariots, and they're wearing baseball caps
    and
    cowboy hats instead of their halos.

    They refuse to keep the stairway to Heaven clean. There are watermelon
    seeds
    and pig feet bones all over the place. Some of them are walking around
    with
    just one wing."

    The Lord said, "I made them special, Gabriel. Heaven is Home to all my
    children. If you really want to know about real problems, let's call the
    Devil."

    The Devil answered the phone, " Hello? Damn, hold on a minute."

    The Devil returned to the phone, "O.K., I'm back. What can I do for you?"

    The Lord replied, "I just want to know what kind of problems you're having
    down there."

    The Devil said, "Hold on again. I need to check on something."

    After about 5 minutes the Devil returned to the phone and said, "I'm back.
    Now what was the question?"

    The Lord said, "What kind of problems are you having down there?"

    The Devil said, "Man, I don't believe this....Hold on, Lord."

    This time the Devil was gone 15 minutes. The Devil returned and said ,
    "I'm
    sorry Lord, I can't talk right now.

    Them damn Texans done put out the fire and are trying to install air
    conditioning."

    Bigbazza (Barry) Oz

  6. On Mon, 17 Sep 2007 14:10:46 GMT, "faTjack" <[email hidden]>

    Quoted message said:

    DEAR MR. BIGBAZZU,

    I DO STAY IN TEXAS NOW BUT, WAS, BORN, AND REARED, IN KENTUCKY. MOST OF THE
    SO CALLED UNCOOTH HERE ARE OUTSIDER TYPES LIKE YOU. THE COWBOY HATS YOU
    MOSTLY SEE HERE ARE MORE LIKEN TO CROOKED BALL CAPS COVERING UP ONE EAR AND
    ON OCCASION THEY WILL COVER BOTH EARS. IM TOLD THESE PEOPLE ARE COME FROM
    THE LIKES OF NEW YORK CITY AND ELSEWEAR. TEXAS DON'T HAVE NO MORE OIL WELLS
    SO MR. BUSH IS OVER TRYING GATHER US UP SOME MORE. IM A HOPING HE DONT'
    BRING A BUNCH OF THEM UGLY SPITTIN HUMPITY BACK CRITTERS ALONG WITH EM. IF
    THEY COME, WE WILL GIVE EM A TRY ON THE SMOKING PIT.

    OT,, IS NOW OVER AND OUT

    FATTY

    This all caps thing is getting boring. Do you need magnification?
    Would you like someone to help you set larger fonts in your news
    reader???? Email me privately, if you wish.
    --

    History is a vast early warning system
    Norman Cousins

  7. IS this better&

    thank you for your're kind offer. yes i typewrite with one hand and a
    couple of different fangers and can hardly see this small typewritting. i
    will try to practice holding down the large type key with my big toe iffin i
    can get my leg to bent up that far. please excuse me ifin i have made some
    typografical kind of errows,

    FATTY
    <sf> wrote in message news:[email hidden]...

    Quoted message said:

    On Mon, 17 Sep 2007 14:10:46 GMT, "faTjack" <[email hidden]>

    Quoted message said:

    DEAR MR. BIGBAZZU,

    I DO STAY IN TEXAS NOW BUT, WAS, BORN, AND REARED, IN KENTUCKY. MOST OF
    THE
    SO CALLED UNCOOTH HERE ARE OUTSIDER TYPES LIKE YOU. THE COWBOY HATS YOU
    MOSTLY SEE HERE ARE MORE LIKEN TO CROOKED BALL CAPS COVERING UP ONE EAR
    AND
    ON OCCASION THEY WILL COVER BOTH EARS. IM TOLD THESE PEOPLE ARE COME
    FROM
    THE LIKES OF NEW YORK CITY AND ELSEWEAR. TEXAS DON'T HAVE NO MORE OIL
    WELLS
    SO MR. BUSH IS OVER TRYING GATHER US UP SOME MORE. IM A HOPING HE DONT'
    BRING A BUNCH OF THEM UGLY SPITTIN HUMPITY BACK CRITTERS ALONG WITH EM.
    IF
    THEY COME, WE WILL GIVE EM A TRY ON THE SMOKING PIT.

    OT,, IS NOW OVER AND OUT

    FATTY

    This all caps thing is getting boring. Do you need magnification?
    Would you like someone to help you set larger fonts in your news
    reader???? Email me privately, if you wish.
    --

    History is a vast early warning system
    Norman Cousins

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