cathyxyz said:jay said:On Thu, 23 Feb 2006 07:11:41 -0800, cathyxyz wrote:
Quoted message said:Mr. you are a meshuggener. You keep chasing me..is it love? I did not say
his pix offended me. You need to take your OWN advice and read the book.
You have obviously not read it. When you get a chance the book to get is
"How to WIN friends and Influence People."
That's *Mrs.* Meshuggener to you.... and I am sure Mr Carnegie is
turning in his grave as we speak....
Lemme give you a little quote from the man himself: (I think point
number 3. would be worth remembering)
Part Four
Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing
Resentment
A leader's job often includes changing your people's attitudes and
behavior. Some suggestions to accomplish this:
1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
2. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
5. Let the other person save face.
6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be
"hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise."
7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
Cheers
Cathy(xyz)
All that is very wise advce when you are employing or training adults.
However, I do remember my DH used to work with a most exasperating woman
who reacted very badly to praise. She couldn't cope with it at all, she
was only happy, if you see what I mean, when she was being criticised.
To that end she would go out of her way to stuff things up, and start
apologising before her mistake had even been uncovered. They got a new
boss who tried giving her more responsibility with a view to praising
her when she completed whatever it was successfully. In the end he gave
up and exiled her to an area where she was out of everyone's way and not
doing much, which pleased everybody.
Modom, however, is a different kettle of eels. I keep asking myself, why
does he do it? He's showing us these pictures and inviting comment.
Nobobdy forces him to do it.
OK, some people have been a bit unkind, but this is usenet, you take the
rough with the smooth. Sooner or later somebody who enjoys being abusive
is going to call a spade a bloody shovel, or worse.
I have not commented on his pictures on the principle that if you can't
say anything nice... Though I was sorely tempted by that recent effort
which looked as though the cat had vomited on the plate. However, since
I am now commenting, I will say that his pictures aren't very good. I
know nothing about the technical aspects of photography (others who do
have tried to help), but I know what good food photos look like. Even
allowing for the old fashoned style of his actual pictures, the plating
up is amateur in the extreme. It's not even old-fashioned, it's just
clumsy. I can only assume he never reads foodie magazines or eats out
at half decent restaurants.
So what is going on? Have you noticed how often he says things like
"Sorry about the smear of sauce on the plate"? Why doesn't he just wipe
it off before he takes the photo? We get a description of the dish, but
the food sounds better than it looks, the reverse of the situation with
a lot of illustrated recipes. And people say, sounds delicious, which it
does, but the photo doesn't reinforce the description. The description
is often an explanation of the photo, rather than a recipe.
In the end I am reminded of the Rotary art shows where Sunday painters
exhibit, and expect to sell, very mediocre paintings which must have
cost $100 to frame. The punters stand in front of them saying "There's a
lot of work in it...", which is true but does not mean the paintings are
any good as art. If you point out that the perspective's all wrong or
the composition is poor they glare at you, making elitist judgments
about some poor bugger who's just trying their best. The point is, if
you put your work on public display in open competition with others who
may be more skilled than you are, you've got to be prepared to accept
fair criticism.
Christine
