Unwanted arousal question?

Quoted message said:

Hi, ...I found a new massage therapist. She was very nice, and very professional. I have had about
three massages from her which were very relaxing. She always uses drapes and is very professional
at all times. However, the last time I went....she was as usual, with the same professional
approach. but, instead of the normal procedure, where she lowers my underpants a bit and massages
my gluts a bit before going up my back.....this time she lowered my pants quite a bit and massaged
my butt for a long time. She seemed to increase the pressure more and more...until she was
actually pushing my body into the massage couch with quite a force, and rocking me back and
fourth...I got aroused, ( which was not what I wanted at all )....I hoped she would soon stop and
move on up my back, as she usually does,..but she kept on for a long time pushing me hard into the
couch, and rocking me back and forward. I was embarrassed to tell her that I was getting so
aroused...and hoped she would stop, but she kept on....eventually I had an involuntary release,
and this made me feel really embarrassed and afraid that she would think me to be some kind of
sleaseball. The massage continued, and luckilly with the drapes etc...I don't think she noticed.(
or pretended not to)....I didn't enyoy the rest of the massage, because I was disturbed by this.
She didn't touch me anywhere inappropriate, other than push me hard into the couch , back and
forward for much longer than in previous sessions. At the end of the session..she said she hoped
to see me again soon. I have had quite a few massages before, and this never happened to me
before. My first massage was in the 5star Peninsula hotel in Bangkok....where it was customery to
do you naked....and this

Quoted message said:

because I am not sleazy, and want to be able to look forward to massage as a wholesome treat. I
find it hard to believe that with her training, never mind common sense, that she was not aware of
what she was doing. I would appreciate feedback on this. Should I mention it to her the next time?
Was she behaving innapropriately? Has this happened to anyone else? Is it an occupational hazzard,
to be overlooked discreetly by the therapist? Is it a rare occurrance? I have heard that during
massage , any sudden release can take place, including bursting into tears for some people. Please
let me know how to react to this, as I am confused. I am not a prude, but I have dignity,and would
hate to be thought of as sleazy, or to insult the girl in any way. I don't want this to put me off
from future massages, which I find very stress relieving and theraputic. Please reply.........

If she does it again, tell her you'd like her to move on to another area. If she asks why, say that
it's too much pressure in that area, or whatever seems appropriate. It's possible that she did it on
purpose, that she's trying to come on to you. But it could be she just got carried away.

sue

Quoted message said:

Hi, ...I found a new massage therapist. She was very nice, and very professional. I have had about
three massages from her which were very relaxing. She always uses drapes and is very professional
at all times. However, the last time I went....she was as usual, with the same professional
approach. but, instead of the normal procedure, where she lowers my underpants a bit and massages
my gluts a bit before going up my back.....this time she lowered my pants quite a bit and massaged
my butt for a long time. She seemed to increase the pressure more and more...until she was actually
pushing my body into the massage couch with quite a force, and rocking me back and fourth...I got
aroused, ( which was not what I wanted at all )....I hoped she would soon stop and move on up my
back, as she usually does,..but she kept on for a long time pushing me hard into the couch, and
rocking me back and forward. I was embarrassed to tell her that I was getting so aroused...and
hoped she would stop, but she kept on....

If she does it again, tell her "that's kind of uncomfortable" or something similar before things go
too far. If she's doing it accidentally, that should be all you need to do. It's not uncommon for a
client to get somewhat aroused during a massage, but it shouldn't go *that* far.

If she's deliberately trying to arouse you, then I suggest you find a different therapist and
perhaps report her to whatever "powers-that-be" are in charge of massage therapy licensing in your
corner of the world. (In Texas, for example, it's the Department of Health and their address is
listed in the fine print at the bottom of the evaluation form.)

-Chris Zakes LDP Massage Texas

"A properly balanced sword is the most versatile weapon for close quarters ever devised... A sword
never jams, never has to be reloaded, it is always ready."

-Robert Heinlein, "Glory Road"

Where can I get her number... :-)

<[email hidden]> wrote in message "]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Hi, ...I found a new massage therapist. She was very nice, and very professional. I have had about
three massages from her which were very relaxing. She always uses drapes and is very professional
at all times. However, the last time I went....she was as usual, with the same professional
approach. but, instead of the normal procedure, where she lowers my underpants a bit and massages
my gluts a bit before going up my back.....this time she lowered my pants quite a bit and massaged
my butt for a long time. She seemed to increase the pressure more and more...until she was
actually pushing my body into the massage couch with quite a force, and rocking me back and
fourth...I got aroused, ( which was not what I wanted at all )....I hoped she would soon stop and
move on up my back, as she usually does,..but she kept on for a long time pushing me hard into the
couch, and rocking me back and forward. I was embarrassed to tell her that I was getting so
aroused...and hoped she would stop, but she kept on....eventually I had an involuntary release,
and this made me feel really embarrassed and afraid that she would think me to be some kind of
sleaseball. The massage continued, and luckilly with the drapes etc...I don't think she noticed.(
or pretended not to)....I didn't enyoy the rest of the massage, because I was disturbed by this.
She didn't touch me anywhere inappropriate, other than push me hard into the couch , back and
forward for much longer than in previous sessions. At the end of the session..she said she hoped
to see me again soon. I have had quite a few massages before, and this never happened to me
before. My first massage was in the 5star Peninsula hotel in Bangkok....where it was customery to
do you naked....and this

Quoted message said:

because I am not sleazy, and want to be able to look forward to massage as a wholesome treat. I
find it hard to believe that with her training, never mind common sense, that she was not aware of
what she was doing. I would appreciate feedback on this. Should I mention it to her the next time?
Was she behaving innapropriately? Has this happened to anyone else? Is it an occupational hazzard,
to be overlooked discreetly by the therapist? Is it a rare occurrance? I have heard that during
massage , any sudden release can take place, including bursting into tears for some people. Please
let me know how to react to this, as I am confused. I am not a prude, but I have dignity,and would
hate to be thought of as sleazy, or to insult the girl in any way. I don't want this to put me off
from future massages, which I find very stress relieving and theraputic. Please reply.........

I deal with couples that have a person with fibromyalgia. I train them in how to give and receive
safe and effective massage therapy. Most of the time, it is the woman that has the condition. It is
very easy for me to teach the guy, because I'm showing him how to do it with a minimum of effort,
and providing for good feedback. However, I get the most difficulty with the woman. I basically have
to treat her like a child, as she learns how to give that feedback that is so necessary. She gets
trained to say "stop" if she's made to feel uncomfortable. Period. The person is entering her space
at her discretion, and she has to learn that if it hurts, it's her fault. If she is being made to
feel uncomfortable, it's her fault. If I catch a wince, without a "stop", we stop everything, and
again go over the rules.

Same applies to those without fibromyalgia. You are the client. If you are wishing someone would
stop doing something, and don't say so, you're doing yourself and the therapist a disservice. From
your description, sounds like the rhythmic side-to-side motion designed to give you clitoral
stimulation, especially if she pressed especially firmly nearer the base of your butt. The gluts are
the biggest muscles of the body, but the way to clear them is with firm stroking pressure along the
axis of the muscle, not crossgrain in the maneuver you describe.

I suggest you tell the therapist that the maneuver she introduced to you was not comfortable to you,
that you did not leave the session in as relaxed a fashion as you had in previous sessions, and
apologize to her for not having spoken out in the earlier session. I think the little maneuver was a
deliberate effort to give you an 'extra', and she needs to understand that you see it neither
appropriate nor professional to have you grinding away at the table.

<[email hidden]> wrote in message "]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Hi, ...I found a new massage therapist. She was very nice, and very professional. I have had about
three massages from her which were very relaxing. She always uses drapes and is very professional
at all times. However, the last time I went....she was as usual, with the same professional
approach. but, instead of the normal procedure, where she lowers my underpants a bit and massages
my gluts a bit before going up my back.....this time she lowered my pants quite a bit and massaged
my butt for a long time. She seemed to increase the pressure more and more...until she was
actually pushing my body into the massage couch with quite a force, and rocking me back and
fourth...I got aroused, ( which was not what I wanted at all )....I hoped she would soon stop and
move on up my back, as she usually does,..but she kept on for a long time pushing me hard into the
couch, and rocking me back and forward. I was embarrassed to tell her that I was getting so
aroused...and hoped she would stop, but she kept on....eventually I had an involuntary release,
and this made me feel really embarrassed and afraid that she would think me to be some kind of
sleaseball. The massage continued, and luckilly with the drapes etc...I don't think she noticed.(
or pretended not to)....I didn't enyoy the rest of the massage, because I was disturbed by this.
She didn't touch me anywhere inappropriate, other than push me hard into the couch , back and
forward for much longer than in previous sessions. At the end of the session..she said she hoped
to see me again soon. I have had quite a few massages before, and this never happened to me
before. My first massage was in the 5star Peninsula hotel in Bangkok....where it was customery to
do you naked....and this

Quoted message said:

because I am not sleazy, and want to be able to look forward to massage as a wholesome treat. I
find it hard to believe that with her training, never mind common sense, that she was not aware of
what she was doing. I would appreciate feedback on this. Should I mention it to her the next time?
Was she behaving innapropriately? Has this happened to anyone else? Is it an occupational hazzard,
to be overlooked discreetly by the therapist? Is it a rare occurrance? I have heard that during
massage , any sudden release can take place, including bursting into tears for some people. Please
let me know how to react to this, as I am confused. I am not a prude, but I have dignity,and would
hate to be thought of as sleazy, or to insult the girl in any way. I don't want this to put me off
from future massages, which I find very stress relieving and theraputic. Please reply.........

What I am about to discuss IS NOT the same thing, but communicating with
your therapist is the same. I have hour and a half Pfrimmer messages to help
with my MS. That said I eat a lot of fruit which causes flatulents. As a
result I inform my therapist when it is very active. It could be
embarrassing for both of us, I could be flexing to hold the gas in and not
getting the therapeutic result. Talk to your therapist...jeff
<[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Hi, ...I found a new massage therapist. She was very nice, and very professional. I have had about
three massages from her which were very relaxing. She always uses drapes and is very professional
at all times. However, the last time I went....she was as usual, with the same professional
approach. but, instead of the normal procedure, where she lowers my underpants a bit and massages
my gluts a bit before going up my back.....this time she lowered my pants quite a bit and massaged
my butt for a long time. She seemed to increase the pressure more and more...until she was
actually pushing my body into the massage couch with quite a force, and rocking me back and
fourth...I got aroused, ( which was not what I wanted at all )....I hoped she would soon stop and
move on up my back, as she usually does,..but she kept on for a long time pushing me hard into the
couch, and rocking me back and forward. I was embarrassed to tell her that I was getting so
aroused...and hoped she would stop, but she kept on....eventually I had an involuntary release,
and this made me feel really embarrassed and afraid that she would think me to be some kind of
sleaseball. The massage continued, and luckilly with the drapes etc...I don't think she noticed.(
or pretended not to)....I didn't enyoy the rest of the massage, because I was disturbed by this.
She didn't touch me anywhere inappropriate, other than push me hard into the couch , back and
forward for much longer than in previous sessions. At the end of the session..she said she hoped
to see me again soon. I have had quite a few massages before, and this never happened to me
before. My first massage was in the 5star Peninsula hotel in Bangkok....where it was customery to
do you naked....and this

Quoted message said:

because I am not sleazy, and want to be able to look forward to massage as a wholesome treat. I
find it hard to believe that with her training, never mind common sense, that she was not aware of
what she was doing. I would appreciate feedback on this. Should I mention it to her the next time?
Was she behaving innapropriately? Has this happened to anyone else? Is it an occupational hazzard,
to be overlooked discreetly by the therapist? Is it a rare occurrance? I have heard that during
massage , any sudden release can take place, including bursting into tears for some people. Please
let me know how to react to this, as I am confused. I am not a prude, but I have dignity,and would
hate to be thought of as sleazy, or to insult the girl in any way. I don't want this to put me off
from future massages, which I find very stress relieving and theraputic. Please reply.........

WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE OPENED YOUR MOUTH AND SAID SOMETHING ABOUT THE PRESSURE IT IS YOUR
MASSAGE AFTER ALL NOT HERS, YOU DID NOT PROTEST SO WHY COMPLAON AFTER THE FACT SHE WOULD NOT KNOW
UNLESS YOU MADE YOUR DISCOMFORT KNOWN, SHES NOT A MIND READER.

Thanks, this is true, I do communicate which is quite important. At times because of maybe being
sensitive or even ticklish it causes results like I mentioned. At times I even stopped going I
didn't want anyone to get the idea I am looking for "something" which I know would make the massause
feel uncomfortable. After speaking with them I think they understand, but I just feel embarrassed,
and even stopped going for a while. But I will make sure I tell them upfront I'm ticklish or
something like that so they understand.

Thanks Tim

"Jeff Skinner" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:9NIzb.25334$_M.104166@attbi_s54...

Quoted message said:

What I am about to discuss IS NOT the same thing, but communicating with your therapist is the
same. I have hour and a half Pfrimmer messages to

help

Quoted message said:

with my MS. That said I eat a lot of fruit which causes flatulents. As a result I inform my
therapist when it is very active. It could be embarrassing for both of us, I could be flexing to
hold the gas in and not getting the therapeutic result. Talk to your therapist...jeff
<[email hidden]> wrote in message "]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Hi, ...I found a new massage therapist. She was very nice, and very professional. I have had
about three massages from her which were very relaxing. She always uses drapes and is very
professional at all times. However, the last time I went....she was as usual, with the same
professional approach. but, instead of the normal procedure, where she lowers my underpants a
bit and massages my gluts a bit before going up my back.....this time she lowered my pants quite
a bit and massaged my butt for a long time. She seemed to increase the pressure more and
more...until she was actually pushing my body into the massage couch with quite a force, and
rocking me back and fourth...I got aroused, ( which was not what I wanted at all )....I hoped
she would soon stop and move on up my back, as she usually does,..but she kept on for a long
time pushing me hard into the couch, and rocking me back and forward. I was embarrassed to tell
her that I was getting so aroused...and hoped she would stop, but she kept on....eventually I
had an involuntary release, and this made me feel really embarrassed and afraid that she would
think me to be some kind of sleaseball. The massage continued, and luckilly with the drapes
etc...I don't think she noticed.( or pretended not to)....I didn't enyoy the rest of the
massage, because I was disturbed by this. She didn't touch me anywhere inappropriate, other than
push me hard into the couch , back and forward for much longer than in previous sessions. At the
end of the session..she said she hoped to see me again soon. I have had quite a few massages
before, and this never happened to me before. My first massage was in the 5star Peninsula hotel
in Bangkok....where it was customery to do you naked....and this

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

because I am not sleazy, and want to be able to look forward to massage as a wholesome treat. I
find it hard to believe that with her training, never mind common sense, that she was not aware
of what she was doing. I would appreciate feedback on this. Should I mention it to her the next
time? Was she behaving innapropriately? Has this happened to anyone else? Is it an occupational
hazzard, to be overlooked discreetly by the therapist? Is it a rare occurrance? I have heard
that during massage , any sudden release can take place, including bursting into tears for some
people. Please let me know how to react to this, as I am confused. I am not a prude, but I have
dignity,and would hate to be thought of as sleazy, or to insult the girl in any way. I don't
want this to put me off from future massages, which I find very stress relieving and theraputic.
Please reply.........

"Bluefly61" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...
| WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULD [snipped]

No need to shout.

Please find the CapsLock key and switch it off.

SB

This discussion is something I wanted to follow, as I have felt the same way

examine the place and personnel to see if it is shady. I ask what kind of

we do anything, well I walked away), but at times I have felt aroused also. It has been embarrasing,
at least that is how I feel, I may be touched (never on genitals or personal areas) and it times it
may cause an erection, when I am laying on my stomach it is not seen, but when I am on my back at
times it happens and I feel embarrased. I apologize for this and the person just smiles, but how
does one handle this and know if it is being done deliberately. Should I just end the massage at
that point or maybe tell her to go to another area while I "calm down". It is embarrasing to talk
about but this thread is enlightening that I not the only one. Of course at times the movement has
been quite strong, but not as strong to cause what happen to the other gentlemen, still it is
embarrasing to me

Paul

"Michael Baugh" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Except for gender-specific details, and acknowledging the change to the direction with a penis
involved, I see nothing changed in my assessment.

<[email hidden]> wrote in message "]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Michael Baugh said:

session. I think the little maneuver was a deliberate effort to give you an 'extra', and she
needs to understand that you see it neither appropriate nor professional to have you grinding
away at the table.

Firstly, in case of not being clear, ..I am a man. She did not rock me from side to side, but
forwards and backwards pushing me hard into the table so that my penis was rubbing into the
table.and for quite a while..although she did at no point directly touch me herself in an
inappropriate way.And, a man is much more easily got off than a woman....which would suggest
that she must have been aware what was going on..? As I said before...I wanted to ask her to
stop...but was

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

pathetic that I would have to pay for it in any way.......I was confused and not sure whether
she was trying on purpose to get me off,...or, if it was normal on her part, and I was at fault
in some way......the replies here have been very helpful , and I thank you all

Except that I'm sure he felt as if, to you, that was either an insignificant detail or you
jumped to the assumption that this happens to women more than men and thus used female genitalia
in your response.

It's a very sensitive issue. When I read what you had experienced my heart went out to you and I was
embarassed for you. I am a woman. But crossing a person's boundaries in such a fashion is a human
violation on multi-levels. But, communicating always helps to define the boundaries in a more
distinct fashion than assumption of professionalism and framework do on their own.

As a new practitioner, I'm extremely aware of the boundaries and framework/professionalism at all
times and there are so many variations in individual circumstances.. I think it is a good idea as a
therapist to encourage communication and initiate it when necessary as far as discomfort in
techniques/draping/pressure/areas of the body etc.. always. Whether the client is regular or just a
one time "gift certificate" deal (for example).

mj "Michael Baugh" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Except for gender-specific details, and acknowledging the change to the direction with a penis
involved, I see nothing changed in my assessment.

<[email hidden]> wrote in message "]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Michael Baugh said:

session. I think the little maneuver was a deliberate effort to give you an 'extra', and she
needs to understand that you see it neither appropriate nor professional to have you grinding
away at the table.

Firstly, in case of not being clear, ..I am a man. She did not rock me from side to side, but
forwards and backwards pushing me hard into the table so that my penis was rubbing into the
table.and for quite a while..although she did at no point directly touch me herself in an
inappropriate way.And, a man is much more easily got off than a woman....which would suggest
that she must have been aware what was going on..? As I said before...I wanted to ask her to
stop...but was

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

pathetic that I would have to pay for it in any way.......I was confused and not sure whether
she was trying on purpose to get me off,...or, if it was normal on her part, and I was at fault
in some way......the replies here have been very helpful , and I thank you all

Let this one go into the "FYI" category for many massage therapists: I think the worst thing (in
this regard) is to drape with sheets and then to ever "tug" it to a slightly new location. You have
to LIFT it a little, or better yet, use a terry cloth towel.

George

"Tim Well" <[email hidden]> wrote in message "]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

This discussion is something I wanted to follow, as I have felt the same

way

Quoted message said:

examine the place and personnel to see if it is shady. I ask what kind of

me

Quoted message said:

we do anything, well I walked away), but at times I have felt aroused

also.

Quoted message said:

It has been embarrasing, at least that is how I feel, I may be touched (never on genitals or
personal areas) and it times it may cause an

erection,

Quoted message said:

when I am laying on my stomach it is not seen, but when I am on my back at times it happens and I
feel embarrased. I apologize for this and the

person

Quoted message said:

just smiles, but how does one handle this and know if it is being done deliberately. Should I just
end the massage at that point or maybe tell

her

Quoted message said:

to go to another area while I "calm down". It is embarrasing to talk

about

Quoted message said:

but this thread is enlightening that I not the only one. Of course at

times

Quoted message said:

the movement has been quite strong, but not as strong to cause what happen to the other gentlemen,
still it is embarrasing to me

Paul