Sydneysiders seem to have plenty of gripes about cyclists. Yet amid all the hubbub one rather obvious criticism seems to have been missed by most people. That is, their insistence on wearing skin-tight lycra. Memo to the shaved leg brigade: lycra belongs on superheroes, not cyclists.
Millions of cyclists in China, India and elsewhere around the world seem to get around perfectly without a figure-accentuating costume that might do Batman proud (the George Clooney Batman, who had nipples welded onto his rubber costume).
Nor do many female cyclists fancy braving the roads in the type of material that Wonder Woman might wear on her crime-fighting adventures, the cut of which is as prone to burst at the seams as the attire of a British female bobsleigh rider.
That leaves us with the Western male and his fantasies of omnipotence.
‘‘Do you think their mummies never bought them a Spider-Man outfit?’’ quipped one colleague as she raised the issue.
If there’s one thing those plums of Paddington and the buttocks cheeks of Balmain have in common, it’s the love of lycra.
Seeing these cycling superheroes on the road, one half expects them suddenly to burst out of their costumes with a roar like the Incredible Hulk. Or perhaps accidentally unleash Thor’s mighty hammer during a wardrobe malfunction.
