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Way OT: Installing Husband 1.0

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01 / Original postWay OT: Installing Husband 1.0Terry Pulliam Burd · 14 Jul 2007 02 / This pagePosts 1–8Page 1 of 1 · chronological order 03 / Latest replyPost #8Dee Dee · 15 Jul 2007

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General fitness, health and nutrition
Published
14 July 2007
Last activity
15 July 2007
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Terry Pulliam Burd
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  1. Original post
    Terry Pulliam Burd
    Archived post
    #1

    I would be sorry about posting such an OT post (phhttbbbttt!, Steve
    Wertz *and* there is a food reference at the end), but this is
    entirely too funny:

    Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband
    1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance -
    particularly, in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated
    flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

    In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs,
    such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed
    undesirable programs such as NHL 5.0, CFL 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1.

    Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 4.6 simply crashes
    the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but
    to no avail.

    What can I do?

    Signed, Desperate.

    _______________________________

    Dear Desperate:

    First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
    Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Please enter the command: "http: I
    Thought You Loved Me.html" and try to download Tears 6.2, and don't
    forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as
    designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications
    Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

    But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0
    to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Beer
    6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

    Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0. (It runs a virus in
    the background that will eventually seize control of all your system
    resources.)

    Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are
    unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

    In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program , but it does have limited
    memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider
    buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We
    recommend Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

    Good Luck, Tech Support

    Terry Pulliam Burd

    "The more corrupt the state, the more numerous the laws." Tacitus
    (Second Century A.D.)

    Terry Pulliam Burd

    --
    "Just what kind of jackassery do I have to put up with today?" Danae
    in "Non Sequitur"

    To reply, replace "spaminator" with "cox"

    Report
  2. Steve Wertz
    Archived post
    #2
    Terry Pulliam Burd said:

    I would be sorry about posting such an OT post (phhttbbbttt!, Steve
    Wertz *and* there is a food reference at the end), but this is
    entirely too funny:

    Pbbbt. You must be on the Leo side of the 21st - whining and
    dropping names for no reason.

    Are there any astrologists out there that care to explain this?

    -sw

    Report
  3. blake murphy
    Archived post
    #3
    Terry Pulliam Burd said:

    I would be sorry about posting such an OT post (phhttbbbttt!, Steve
    Wertz *and* there is a food reference at the end), but this is
    entirely too funny:

    Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband
    1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance -
    particularly, in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated
    flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

    there was a slightly different version posted here in 2002:

    From [email hidden] Tue Feb 12 15:03:56 2002
    Newsgroups: rec.food.cooking
    Subject: TOTALLY OT: Tech Support
    From: "Everyboysmomma" <[email hidden]>
    Date: Tue, 12 Feb 2002 20:03:56 GMT

    Dear Tech Support:
    Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and
    noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the
    accounting modules, limiting access to flower and jewelry applications
    that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition,
    Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
    Romance-9.9 and then installed other, undesirable programs such as
    NFL-5.0 and NBA-3.0. Conversation-8.0 no longer runs and
    Housecleaning-2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running
    Nagging-5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What do I do?

    Signed,
    Desperate

    Dear Desperate:
    Keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while
    Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command: C:/I
    THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install Tears-6.2. Husband 1.0 should then
    automatically run the applications Guilty-3.0 and Flowers-7.0. But
    remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to
    Grumpy/Silence-2.5, Happyhour-7.0 or Beer-6.1. Beer-6.1 is a very bad
    program that will create "Snoring Loudly" wave files. DO NOT install
    Mother-In-Law-1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are
    not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
    In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have
    limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider
    buying additional software to improve performance. I personally
    recommend Hot Food-3.0 and Lingerie-5.3. Also remember, running
    Nagging-5.3 too often can sometimes cause Husband 1.0 to secretly
    install Mistress-1.0, which would then require you to run Private
    Investigator-7.5 utility and possibly even Attorney-9.0,which could
    lead to a system wide failure and the need to reboot Husband 1.0!

    Sincerely,
    Tech Support

    your pal,
    blake

    Report
  4. Joseph Littleshoes
    Archived post
    #4
    blake murphy said:
    Terry Pulliam Burd said:

    I would be sorry about posting such an OT post (phhttbbbttt!, Steve
    Wertz *and* there is a food reference at the end), but this is
    entirely too funny:

    Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband
    1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance -
    particularly, in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated
    flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

    there was a slightly different version posted here in 2002:

    From [email hidden] Tue Feb 12 15:03:56 2002
    Newsgroups: rec.food.cooking
    Subject: TOTALLY OT: Tech Support
    From: "Everyboysmomma" <[email hidden]>
    Date: Tue, 12 Feb 2002 20:03:56 GMT

    Dear Tech Support:
    Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and
    noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the
    accounting modules, limiting access to flower and jewelry applications
    that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition,
    Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
    Romance-9.9 and then installed other, undesirable programs such as
    NFL-5.0 and NBA-3.0. Conversation-8.0 no longer runs and
    Housecleaning-2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running
    Nagging-5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What do I do?

    Signed,
    Desperate

    Dear Desperate:
    Keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while
    Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command: C:/I
    THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install Tears-6.2. Husband 1.0 should then
    automatically run the applications Guilty-3.0 and Flowers-7.0. But
    remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to
    Grumpy/Silence-2.5, Happyhour-7.0 or Beer-6.1. Beer-6.1 is a very bad
    program that will create "Snoring Loudly" wave files. DO NOT install
    Mother-In-Law-1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are
    not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
    In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have
    limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider
    buying additional software to improve performance. I personally
    recommend Hot Food-3.0 and Lingerie-5.3. Also remember, running
    Nagging-5.3 too often can sometimes cause Husband 1.0 to secretly
    install Mistress-1.0, which would then require you to run Private
    Investigator-7.5 utility and possibly even Attorney-9.0,which could
    lead to a system wide failure and the need to reboot Husband 1.0!

    Sincerely,
    Tech Support

    your pal,
    blake


    Cleaver, im thinking there must be a Mac version in there some where.
    Ill save this to file and see what my perfervid imagination comes up with.
    --
    JL

    Report
  5. Terry Pulliam Burd
    Archived post
    #5

    On Fri, 13 Jul 2007 23:35:20 -0500, Steve Wertz
    <[email hidden]> rummaged among random neurons and opined:

    Quoted message said:
    Terry Pulliam Burd said:

    I would be sorry about posting such an OT post (phhttbbbttt!, Steve
    Wertz *and* there is a food reference at the end), but this is
    entirely too funny:

    Pbbbt. You must be on the Leo side of the 21st - whining and
    dropping names for no reason.

    Are there any astrologists out there that care to explain this?

    Actually, I think my mother must have been mistaken about my DOB, as I
    am entirely Leo with Cancer MIA. The 21st is the cusp, so that may
    'splain a few things, Loosey. And I only drop names in the very smiley
    faced way...

    Terry "Squeaks" Pulliam Burd

    --
    "If the soup had been as hot as the claret, if the claret had been as
    old as the bird, and if the bird's breasts had been as full as the
    waitress's, it would have been a very good dinner."

    -- Duncan Hines

    To reply, replace "spaminator" with "cox"

    Report
  6. sf
    Archived post
    #6

    On Sat, 14 Jul 2007 20:28:25 GMT, blake murphy <[email hidden]>

    Quoted message said:
    Terry Pulliam Burd said:

    I would be sorry about posting such an OT post (phhttbbbttt!, Steve
    Wertz *and* there is a food reference at the end), but this is
    entirely too funny:

    Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband
    1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance -
    particularly, in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated
    flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

    there was a slightly different version posted here in 2002:

    From [email hidden] Tue Feb 12 15:03:56 2002
    Newsgroups: rec.food.cooking
    Subject: TOTALLY OT: Tech Support
    From: "Everyboysmomma" <[email hidden]>
    Date: Tue, 12 Feb 2002 20:03:56 GMT

    Dear Tech Support:
    Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and
    noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the
    accounting modules, limiting access to flower and jewelry applications
    that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition,
    Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
    Romance-9.9 and then installed other, undesirable programs such as
    NFL-5.0 and NBA-3.0. Conversation-8.0 no longer runs and
    Housecleaning-2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running
    Nagging-5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What do I do?

    Signed,
    Desperate

    Dear Desperate:
    Keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while
    Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command: C:/I
    THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install Tears-6.2. Husband 1.0 should then
    automatically run the applications Guilty-3.0 and Flowers-7.0. But
    remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to
    Grumpy/Silence-2.5, Happyhour-7.0 or Beer-6.1. Beer-6.1 is a very bad
    program that will create "Snoring Loudly" wave files. DO NOT install
    Mother-In-Law-1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are
    not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
    In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have
    limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider
    buying additional software to improve performance. I personally
    recommend Hot Food-3.0 and Lingerie-5.3. Also remember, running
    Nagging-5.3 too often can sometimes cause Husband 1.0 to secretly
    install Mistress-1.0, which would then require you to run Private
    Investigator-7.5 utility and possibly even Attorney-9.0,which could
    lead to a system wide failure and the need to reboot Husband 1.0!

    Sincerely,
    Tech Support


    Time goes on and things evolve.

    --

    A husband is someone who takes out the trash and gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.

    Report
  7. blake murphy
    Archived post
    #7
    sf said:

    On Sat, 14 Jul 2007 20:28:25 GMT, blake murphy <[email hidden]>

    Quoted message said:
    Terry Pulliam Burd said:

    I would be sorry about posting such an OT post (phhttbbbttt!, Steve
    Wertz *and* there is a food reference at the end), but this is
    entirely too funny:

    Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband
    1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance -
    particularly, in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated
    flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

    there was a slightly different version posted here in 2002:


    Time goes on and things evolve.

    that was not in the nature of a complaint. i thought both were funny.

    your pal,
    blake

    Report
  8. Dee Dee
    Archived post
    #8

    On Jul 13, 11:23 pm, Terry Pulliam Burd <[email hidden]>

    Quoted message said:

    I would be sorry about posting such an OT post (phhttbbbttt!, Steve
    Wertz *and* there is a food reference at the end), but this is
    entirely too funny:

    Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband
    1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance -
    particularly, in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated
    flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

    In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs,
    such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed
    undesirable programs such as NHL 5.0, CFL 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1.

    Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 4.6 simply crashes
    the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but
    to no avail.

    What can I do?

    Signed, Desperate.

    Permanent Fix:

    Uninstall Husband No. 1. Install the newer version: Boyfriend 6.0.
    Dee Dee

    Report

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