What would you do?

"Knit Chic" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

You say they are 'friends'
well, friends put up w/ bad cooking.
I wouldn't call you a friend at all ...

Wow that's a little harsh. One can vent here and still be a friend. I
think that fact that she's not telling her friend to her face "You're a bad
cook!" is statement enough about her friendship.

Lynne

In article <[email hidden]>,

Giggles said:

Anyway my question is this. How do we politely get out of this dinner
invitation?

Have you already said yes? Then, IMO, you can't.

If you haven't, though, you can always say that you are busy. You
are not required to give a reason. If it's during December, you can say
that you are busy, you know the holidays, and leave it at that.
Otherwise, we are busy is a fine response. In the future, though, why
not head it off with a game night, and make it potluck, so you can bring
something, but still visit their home. With games playing, maybe the
husband will be less of a jerk, or at least you will have an excuse not
to converse too much. If you don't like games, a movie night also
works. I suggest this for at their home only because you may hurt her
feelings if you never go to their place and they always come to yours.

Regards,
Ranee

Remove do not & spam to e-mail me.

"She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands." Prov 31:13

http://arabianknits.blogspot.com/
http://talesfromthekitchen.blogspot.com/

First you go to their house, and explain you're ears are acting up and
them the cotton in your ears. BUT you want to hear their conversation,
and that's why you brought a tape recorder, so you could play it back
when your hearing improves - then when leaving , leave the tape there.
When they call to say they found your tape - just say .... No thanks, I
have enough buzzing still....

Giggles said:

Hi all,

My husband and I and our 2 kids were invited to dinner to a friends house
for dinner. They have 4 kids of their own, all the kids play somewhat
nicely together. As for the wife she's very nice and we get along well ...

Up to here, all's well. Accepting the invitation is obviously right.

Quoted message said:

but her cooking is not very good, sorry I know it's not nice to say that....

So what? You don't go to friends for dinner just because the food will
be excellent. You go because they are friends. Here you have the
added (great and unusual) benefit that six kids get along well.

Quoted message said:

Now as for her husband he's a really annoying. He's the type of person that can
have a four hour conversation with himself & you have to sit there and
listen because he won't let you speak and if you dare to speak according to
him your wrong all the time!

Again, so what? You don't really have to just sit and listen. Go help
in the kitchen, busy yourself eating, go check on the kids. Distract
the conversation to a topic you can all join in on instead of his
monologue. Or start a side conversation with the wife with whom you
talk more easily. It's an adult skill, work on it.

Quoted message said:

My husband and I don't want to go.

If you don't go you will sooner or later not be friends with these
people anymore. Your choice.

Quoted message said:

Anyway my question is this. How do we politely get out of this dinner
invitation?

As you can tell, I don't think you should. You don't think so either
or you wouldn't have asked. -aem

Giggles said:

Hi all,

My husband and I and our 2 kids were invited to dinner to a friends house
for dinner. They have 4 kids of their own, all the kids play somewhat
nicely together. As for the wife she's very nice and we get along well but
her cooking is not very good, sorry I know it's not nice to say that. Now
as for her husband he's a really annoying. He's the type of person that can
have a four hour conversation with himself & you have to sit there and
listen because he won't let you speak and if you dare to speak according to
him your wrong all the time!
My husband and I don't want to go.

Anyway my question is this. How do we politely get out of this dinner
invitation?

Let me rephrase this as a way of understanding it correctly. If the
cooking were spectacular, you'd put up with the boor of a husband. If
the husband were a delight to be with, you'd put up with horrible
cooking. The trouble, the way I understand it, is that nothing about
the evening is good enough to make it worthwhile putting up with
everything else. Even the kids only play together somewhat nicely. If
the kids were best friends who truly enjoyed each other and got a lot
out of each others' company, you might consider putting up with both bad
cooking and bad husband.

I'm going to suggest not making an excuse for not accepting the dinner
invitation. If you say that you're busy, your hostess will only invite
you again until you're not busy. It will get harder and harder to get
out of it. Instead, say point blank that you prefer getting together
with her without involving both families. Then stonewall if she asks
why or guesses why. ("I realize your husband wants to come along, but
I'd still like to get together when it's just the two of us." Repeat as
necessary.) Ultimately that's more polite than lying.

--Lia

"Giggles" <[email hidden]> looking for trouble wrote in
news:[email hidden]:

Quoted message said:

Hi all,

My husband and I and our 2 kids were invited to dinner to a friends
house for dinner. They have 4 kids of their own, all the kids play
somewhat nicely together. As for the wife she's very nice and we get
along well but her cooking is not very good, sorry I know it's not
nice to say that. Now as for her husband he's a really annoying.
He's the type of person that can have a four hour conversation with
himself & you have to sit there and listen because he won't let you
speak and if you dare to speak according to him your wrong all the
time! My husband and I don't want to go.

Anyway my question is this. How do we politely get out of this dinner
invitation?

Thanks so much,
SPOONS

"Thank you for the invitation, we have other plans. Perhaps another time."

Michael

--
....Bacteria: The rear entrance to a cafeteria.

All gramatical errors and misspellings due to Ramsey the cyber kitten. He
now owns all keyboards and computing devices in the household and has the
final say on what is, or is not, posted.
Send email to dog30 at charter dot net

"Michael "Dog3" Lonergan" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

"Giggles" <[email hidden]> looking for trouble wrote in
news:[email hidden]:

Quoted message said:

Hi all,

My husband and I and our 2 kids were invited to dinner to a friends
house for dinner. They have 4 kids of their own, all the kids play
somewhat nicely together. As for the wife she's very nice and we get
along well but her cooking is not very good, sorry I know it's not
nice to say that. Now as for her husband he's a really annoying.
He's the type of person that can have a four hour conversation with
himself & you have to sit there and listen because he won't let you
speak and if you dare to speak according to him your wrong all the
time! My husband and I don't want to go.

Anyway my question is this. How do we politely get out of this dinner
invitation?

Thanks so much,
SPOONS

"Thank you for the invitation, we have other plans. Perhaps another time."

Michael

What's wrong with the truth?

How 'bout she says "No thanks and as long as you're married to the Pompous Ass
it will remain no but let's do lunch"

LOL

Dimitri

HAHAHA Dimitri...
Thanks for the laugh, I'll have to try that one...hahaha

"Dimitri" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

"Michael "Dog3" Lonergan" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

"Giggles" <[email hidden]> looking for trouble wrote in
news:[email hidden]:

Quoted message said:

Hi all,

My husband and I and our 2 kids were invited to dinner to a friends
house for dinner. They have 4 kids of their own, all the kids play
somewhat nicely together. As for the wife she's very nice and we get
along well but her cooking is not very good, sorry I know it's not
nice to say that. Now as for her husband he's a really annoying.
He's the type of person that can have a four hour conversation with
himself & you have to sit there and listen because he won't let you
speak and if you dare to speak according to him your wrong all the
time! My husband and I don't want to go.

Anyway my question is this. How do we politely get out of this dinner
invitation?

Thanks so much,
SPOONS

"Thank you for the invitation, we have other plans. Perhaps another
time."

Michael

What's wrong with the truth?

How 'bout she says "No thanks and as long as you're married to the Pompous
Ass it will remain no but let's do lunch"

LOL

Dimitri

Giggles said:

Hi all,

My husband and I and our 2 kids were invited to dinner to a friends house
for dinner. They have 4 kids of their own, all the kids play somewhat
nicely together. As for the wife she's very nice and we get along well but
her cooking is not very good, sorry I know it's not nice to say that. Now
as for her husband he's a really annoying. He's the type of person that can
have a four hour conversation with himself & you have to sit there and
listen because he won't let you speak and if you dare to speak according to
him your wrong all the time!
My husband and I don't want to go.

Anyway my question is this. How do we politely get out of this dinner
invitation?

Thanks so much,
SPOONS

I would do the honorable thing: lie. I'd say, "Thank you so much for the
invitation, but we can't make it. December is a really busy month for us.
Why don't I call you sometime after the first of the year and we'll
work on getting together. Is that good for you?"

Then don't call. Unless you see this woman at work or at church or
someplace you frequent regularly, this should take care of it for a while.

You call her a "friend", so I assume you know her well. You might just
have to invite her to lunch one day and say that getting the families
together is such a hassle and that the two of you don't get to visit much
when everyone is together and you would just perfer for the two of you to
sneak off for a "girls time together" lunch or shopping trip.

If she insists on family dinner, at some point, you'll have to be honest.
You might start with, "our husbands didn't 'click' they way you and I
did." Chances are she knows all too well that her husband is impossible.
You are better off losing a "friend" than putting your family through that
ordeal just to be nice.

Elaine, too

In article <[email hidden]>,

King's Crown said:

Hi Spoons,

Quoted message said:

Just stopping by to look at her Halloween decorations was horrendous.
He had gotten home from work when I was there and he promptly
started haranging me for the vehicle I drove, how it was parked, and
why would I stop by for a visit if I wasn't going to stay long. Then
says, "I'm just kidding." I wanted to drive my car over him.

Quoted message said:

Lynne

"There are 4 kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and
praiseworthy." -Ambrose Bierce.
--
http://www.jamlady.eboard.com, updated 12-4-05, Skyline Aglow

I don't think anyone asked for "your" opinion on that
particular problem.

MoM
"Knit Chic" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

You say they are 'friends'
well, friends put up w/ bad cooking.
I wouldn't call you a friend at all ...

"Giggles" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Hi all,

My husband and I and our 2 kids were invited to dinner to
a friends house for dinner. They have 4 kids of their
own, all the kids play somewhat nicely together. As for
the wife she's very nice and we get along well but her
cooking is not very good, sorry I know it's not nice to
say that. Now as for her husband he's a really annoying.
He's the type of person that can have a four hour
conversation with himself & you have to sit there and
listen because he won't let you speak and if you dare to
speak according to him your wrong all the time!
My husband and I don't want to go.

Anyway my question is this. How do we politely get out
of this dinner invitation?

Thanks so much,
SPOONS

"Giggles" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Hi Lynne,

That's exactally my situation, the wife is my friend and
we get along really good, we ladies always take the kids
out for activities. Her husband always wants together!!!
Spoons

"King's Crown" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

I have a friend with an annoying husband. We never plan
things as couples. Us moms take the kids and do things, so
the kids can play.

Thank them for the invite, bow out due to holiday
obligations and NEVER except an invite that includes the
annoying husband.

Lynne

"Giggles" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Hi all,

My husband and I and our 2 kids were invited to dinner
to a friends house for dinner. They have 4 kids of
their own, all the kids play somewhat nicely together.
As for the wife she's very nice and we get along well
but her cooking is not very good, sorry I know it's not
nice to say that. Now as for her husband he's a really
annoying. He's the type of person that can have a four
hour conversation with himself & you have to sit there
and listen because he won't let you speak and if you
dare to speak according to him your wrong all the time!
My husband and I don't want to go.

Anyway my question is this. How do we politely get out
of this dinner invitation?

Thanks so much,
SPOONS

Hi Lynne,

That's exactally my situation, the wife is my friend and
we get along really good, we ladies always take the kids
out for activities. Her husband always wants together!!!
Spoons

It's a tough decision. You don't want to hurt the wifes
feelings by hurting her husbands feelings. For me, I'd just
be busy with something else and make sure you are because if
she calls and you're home that really could throw a monkey
wrench into the works.

MoM

On Tue, 06 Dec 2005 09:05:33 -0500, Dave Smith <[email hidden]>

Quoted message said:

A guy who talks nonstop and tells you how stupid you are if you disagree???
Exchange that nice enough wife for a raving fanatic and you have my in laws :-)

I believe the phrase is;

Overspoken and underinformed

Every family's got one.

<rj>

Thanks Elaine,

I really enjoyed your advice & I'll put it to good use.

"Elaine Parrish" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Giggles said:

Hi all,

My husband and I and our 2 kids were invited to dinner to a friends house
for dinner. They have 4 kids of their own, all the kids play somewhat
nicely together. As for the wife she's very nice and we get along well
but
her cooking is not very good, sorry I know it's not nice to say that.
Now
as for her husband he's a really annoying. He's the type of person that
can
have a four hour conversation with himself & you have to sit there and
listen because he won't let you speak and if you dare to speak according
to
him your wrong all the time!
My husband and I don't want to go.

Anyway my question is this. How do we politely get out of this dinner
invitation?

Thanks so much,
SPOONS

I would do the honorable thing: lie. I'd say, "Thank you so much for the
invitation, but we can't make it. December is a really busy month for us.
Why don't I call you sometime after the first of the year and we'll
work on getting together. Is that good for you?"

Then don't call. Unless you see this woman at work or at church or
someplace you frequent regularly, this should take care of it for a while.

You call her a "friend", so I assume you know her well. You might just
have to invite her to lunch one day and say that getting the families
together is such a hassle and that the two of you don't get to visit much
when everyone is together and you would just perfer for the two of you to
sneak off for a "girls time together" lunch or shopping trip.

If she insists on family dinner, at some point, you'll have to be honest.
You might start with, "our husbands didn't 'click' they way you and I
did." Chances are she knows all too well that her husband is impossible.
You are better off losing a "friend" than putting your family through that
ordeal just to be nice.

Elaine, too

"Dimitri" <[email hidden]> looking for trouble wrote in
news:[email hidden]:

Quoted message said:

"Michael "Dog3" Lonergan" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

"Giggles" <[email hidden]> looking for trouble wrote in
news:[email hidden]:

Quoted message said:

Hi all,

My husband and I and our 2 kids were invited to dinner to a friends
house for dinner. They have 4 kids of their own, all the kids play
somewhat nicely together. As for the wife she's very nice and we
get along well but her cooking is not very good, sorry I know it's
not nice to say that. Now as for her husband he's a really
annoying. He's the type of person that can have a four hour
conversation with himself & you have to sit there and listen because
he won't let you speak and if you dare to speak according to him
your wrong all the time! My husband and I don't want to go.

Anyway my question is this. How do we politely get out of this
dinner invitation?

Thanks so much,
SPOONS

"Thank you for the invitation, we have other plans. Perhaps another
time."

Michael

What's wrong with the truth?

How 'bout she says "No thanks and as long as you're married to the
Pompous Ass it will remain no but let's do lunch"

LOL

Dimitri

ROFLMAO... I love you way of thinking.

Michael

--
....Bacteria: The rear entrance to a cafeteria.

All gramatical errors and misspellings due to Ramsey the cyber kitten. He
now owns all keyboards and computing devices in the household and has the
final say on what is, or is not, posted.
Send email to dog30 at charter dot net

"Giggles" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Hi all,

My husband and I and our 2 kids were invited to dinner to a friends house
for dinner. They have 4 kids of their own, all the kids play somewhat
nicely together. As for the wife she's very nice and we get along well

but

Quoted message said:

her cooking is not very good, sorry I know it's not nice to say that. Now
as for her husband he's a really annoying. He's the type of person that

can

Quoted message said:

have a four hour conversation with himself & you have to sit there and
listen because he won't let you speak and if you dare to speak according

to

Quoted message said:

him your wrong all the time!
My husband and I don't want to go.

Anyway my question is this. How do we politely get out of this dinner
invitation?

Tell 'em you still got the [censored] from last time?

Shaun aRe - Like, you're still trying to excrete all the [censored] the hubby was
dishing out ',;~}~

"Knit Chic" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

You say they are 'friends'
well, friends put up w/ bad cooking.
I wouldn't call you a friend at all ...

She said she wasn't keen on her friend's cooking, but that doesn't stop her
going and eating. It's the idiot [censored] of a mouthy hubby of her friend she
wants to avoid.

Shaun aRe

"Michael "Dog3" Lonergan" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

<snip>

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

"Thank you for the invitation, we have other plans. Perhaps another
time."

Michael

What's wrong with the truth?

How 'bout she says "No thanks and as long as you're married to the
Pompous Ass it will remain no but let's do lunch"

LOL

Dimitri

ROFLMAO... I love you way of thinking.

Michael

The truth shall set you free!

LOL

Dimitri

In article <[email hidden]>,

Giggles said:

That's exactally my situation, the wife is my friend and we get along really
good, we ladies always take the kids out for activities. Her husband always
wants together!!!

I'm afraid to ask. What does he want? How does he look at you?

--
Dan Abel
[email hidden]
Petaluma, California, USA