Joke of the day

[oportosanto]

Husband: You will never succeed, in making that dog obey you.

Wife: Nonsense! it's only a matter of patience, remember I had a lot of trouble with you at first as well...

Haha, but true. Men need to be trained, it's a long long job, sometimes women fail at doing it!

 

[swalia]

There were two cannibals who captured a man. They decided it would be fair if they started eating from opposite ends. After a few minutes, the one who started at the head asked the other one, "How's it going down there?" And the other one replies, "I'm having a ball!"

 

[oportosanto]

loool, I am guessing that the head took longer than the other guy. Good ones @swalia.

 

[swalia]

Every Scooby-Doo episode would literally be two minutes long if the gang went to the mask store first and asked a few questions.

 

[swalia]

Shopkeeper: What you need?
Husband: I need power to fight with my wife.
Shopkeeper: Ok, you should buy a quarter of whiskey, with some ice and peanuts!

 

[oportosanto]

OK, so you got me lost on that last one, how does the whiskey give him power?

 

[swalia]

A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”

The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.”

 

[oportosanto]

I see you don't even read what I am writing right swalia?

Haha, so he could get a ride on the bulls to go faster?

 

[swalia]

Imagine the moment when you are flying in plane on very high altitude and from the window, you see a man flying with air bags with a board saying: I was your Pilot!

 

[oportosanto]

Mmm, not really, how could one be listening to the pilot if he was outside?

You can do better @swalia

 

[swalia]

After many years of studying at a university, I’ve finally become a PhD… or Pizza Hut Deliveryman as people call it.

 

[oportosanto]

lol, not bad that one. Sadly, that's the reality to many university students, they just do jobs that require no qualification.

 

[swalia]

What is the difference between Capitalism and Socialism?
Capitalism is the exploitation of man by man
Socialism is the exact opposite.

 

[swalia]

Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher? There was no chemistry.

 

[oportosanto]

Well, are you making all those jokes yourself @swalia? Do you have any bike related?

 

[swalia]

Little Johnny asks the teacher, “Mrs Roberts, can I be punished for something I haven’t done?”
Mrs Roberts is shocked, “Of course not, Johnny, that would be very unfair!”
Little Johnny is relieved, “OK Mrs Roberts, sorry, I haven’t done my homework.”

 

[oportosanto]

I am starting to get suspicious that you are a bot swalia?

 

[swalia]

I am starting to get suspicious that you are a bot swalia?

Hahaha...Now that's the joke of the day

 

[swalia]

Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, “Dad, tomorrow there’s a special ‘Adults’ evening’ at school.
Daddy is surprised, “Really? Special?”
“Yes,” nods Johnny, “it will be just you, the teacher, the headmaster and two police officers.”

 

[oportosanto]

Hahaha...Now that's the joke of the day

lol, ok, you're the cleverest bot I've ever seen?