New, Legal performance enhanceming drug!

Discussion in 'UK and Europe' started by Sheldon Brown, Mar 31, 2003.

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  1. ShelBroCo is proud to announce the release of Product W, an indespensable performance aid for
    cyclists, runners, chess players and other endurance athletes!

    See: http://sheldonbrown.com/w.html

    Sheldon "Benefactor Of Mankind" Brown
    +-----------------------------------------------------------------+
    | This message has been sent to you using recycled electrons | exclusively. Please do not discard
    | them after use, | send them along and help conserve these irreplaceable | sub-atomic resources
    | for future generations. |
    +-----------------------------------------------------------------+ Harris Cyclery, West Newton,
    Massachusetts Phone 617-244-9772 FAX 617-244-1041 http://harriscyclery.com Hard-to-find parts
    shipped Worldwide http://captainbike.com http://sheldonbrown.com
     
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  2. Nick Kew

    Nick Kew Guest

    In article <[email protected]>, one of infinite monkeys at the keyboard of Sheldon
    Brown <[email protected]> wrote:
    > ShelBroCo is proud to announce the release of Product W, an indespensable performance aid for
    > cyclists, runners, chess players and other endurance athletes!

    Sorry, we've had it for four years now. And it's free here too. I think it's also "traditional" in
    primitive societies.

    --
    One man, one vote! But I wish he wasn't such a fanatic and a liar.
     
  3. Tony Raven

    Tony Raven Guest

    Sheldon Brown <[email protected]> wrote:
    > ShelBroCo is proud to announce the release of Product W, an indespensable performance aid for
    > cyclists, runners, chess players and other endurance athletes!
    >
    > See: http://sheldonbrown.com/w.html
    >
    > Sheldon "Benefactor Of Mankind" Brown

    Be very wary of using this drug. Tests have shown a high and often fatal toxicity in dogs.
    http://www.dogbreederonline.com/chocolate.htm

    Tony

    http://www.raven-family.com

    "The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable man persists in trying to
    adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man." -- George
    Bernard Shaw
     
  4. Dave Kahn

    Dave Kahn Guest

    Sheldon Brown <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:<[email protected]>...
    > ShelBroCo is proud to announce the release of Product W, an indespensable performance aid for
    > cyclists, runners, chess players and other endurance athletes!
    >
    > See: http://sheldonbrown.com/w.html

    Warning! Do not visit this page! It is sprinkled with cunningly crafted links whose psycho-active
    subliminal properties are designed to overload the technical information processing capacity of the
    unwary cyclist's cerebral cortex. No matter what you are initially looking for you will always end
    up reading about the internals of obsolete Sturmey Archer hub gears.

    Incidentally I understand that for maximum "performance enhanceming" the blue Product W capsules
    work best.

    --
    Dave...
     
  5. Tony W

    Tony W Guest

    "Sheldon Brown" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]...
    > ShelBroCo is proud to announce the release of Product W, an indespensable performance aid for
    > cyclists, runners, chess players and other endurance athletes!

    A superior version of these pills, free from rampant side effects, have been widely available for at
    least 50 years in the more civilized parts of the world under the street name 'Smarties'.

    Typically, some giant American drug company has now tried to patent the very substance of life, add
    some marketing hype and a little W to corner the world-wide market -- under the treat that we accept
    these inferior products or George W will abuse the English language and send his strike force to
    ensure our subjugation.

    Anyone thinking these W's are harmless should just look at the sad case of Anthony Blair, resident
    of a run down terrace house in Downing Street. Just a few months ago he was a youthful and vibrant
    leader -- in those few months he has aged out of all recognition, lapsing frequently into platitudes
    and George Dubba speak -- there is now no hope for him. And what these W's have done to Cherie Blair
    are clearly horrible.

    Resist American Imperialism -- eat Smarties.

    T

    printed and jointly published by the Front for the Liberation of England and the Smartie
    Action Group.
     
  6. Tony W

    Tony W Guest

    "Sheldon Brown" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]...

    ShelBroCo charged for false advertising claims.

    Hidden amongst ShelBroCo's 'endorsement's for W's is this claim:-

    What Athletes Say:

    Runners: "I'm a runner not a bicyclist, but Product W works so well for me that many of my friends
    call me "Dubya!" --G.W.B., Texas

    This has been proven to be a false claim as it has been scientifically proven that G.W.B. of Texas
    is incapable of putting together a coherent sentence that long!!

    T
     
  7. Thus spake "Tony Raven" <[email protected]>

    > Sheldon Brown <[email protected]> wrote:
    > > ShelBroCo is proud to announce the release of Product W, an indespensable performance aid for
    > > cyclists, runners, chess players and other endurance athletes!
    > >
    > > See: http://sheldonbrown.com/w.html
    > >
    > > Sheldon "Benefactor Of Mankind" Brown

    > Be very wary of using this drug. Tests have shown a high and often fatal toxicity in dogs.
    > http://www.dogbreederonline.com/chocolate.htm

    To be fair, Sheldon has included this warning on his promotional page:

    -------------------------------------
    Cautions Product W users should avoid operating heavy machinery while under its influence, but no
    problem with light machinery. In the case of bicycles, it is only recommended for use with bicycles
    weighing 22 pounds (10 kg) or less, for this reason.

    Keep this product out of reach of children at all times.

    **Product W is for human use only, and may be harmful to dogs.**

    --------------------------------------------

    The sugar and fat content of the pills illustrated could also give rise to problems.

    Chocaholic of Queensbury.

    --
    Helen D. Vecht: [email protected] Edgware.
     
  8. Tony W

    Tony W Guest

  9. Thus spake [email protected] (Dave Kahn)

    > Incidentally I understand that for maximum "performance enhanceming" the blue Product W capsules
    > work best.

    Yebbut orange Smarties taste nicer...

    --
    Helen D. Vecht: [email protected] Edgware.
     
  10. "Tony W" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:<[email protected]>...

    > Resist American Imperialism -- eat Smarties.

    As I'm posting this from the home city of Smarties (not to mention KitKats, Polos and the Terry's
    Chocolate Orange), I'd be inclined to agree!

    David E. Belcher

    Dept. of Chemistry, University of York
     
  11. Dave Kahn

    Dave Kahn Guest

  12. Thus spake [email protected] (Dave Kahn)

    > "Tony W" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    > news:<[email protected]>...
    > > "Tony Raven" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    > > news:[email protected]...
    > > >
    > > > Be very wary of using this drug. Tests have shown a high and often fatal toxicity in dogs.
    > > > http://www.dogbreederonline.com/chocolate.htm
    > >
    > > Sounds like a positive benefit then :)

    > Instead of fending them off with your pump just let them have it with a bar of Bournville plain.

    From uk.rec.gardening today:

    ----------------------

    This from the letters page of the new May BBC GW mag:

    A reader wrote in to emphasise the danger of using cocoa shell mulches in gardens with dogs.
    Their local dog club had already confirmed a bitch dead due to eating cocoa shells. Apparently
    their chocolate smell attracts the dogs, but they contain theobromine which even in small
    quantities can kill a dog (so don't give one pieces from a human chocolate bar either, no matter
    how much they beg!)

    A manufacturer replied to the letter, saying there is a warning on the bags. How many of us read the
    print on such things? They recommend using bark mulches instead.
    -------------------------------------

    --
    Helen D. Vecht: [email protected] Edgware.
     
  13. Dave

    Dave Guest

    "Sheldon Brown" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]...
    > ShelBroCo is proud to announce the release of Product W, an indespensable performance aid for
    > cyclists, runners, chess players and other endurance athletes!
    >
    > See: http://sheldonbrown.com/w.html
    >
    > Sheldon "Benefactor Of Mankind" Brown
    > +-----------------------------------------------------------------+
    > | This message has been sent to you using recycled electrons | exclusively. Please do not
    > | discard them after use, | send them along and help conserve these irreplaceable | sub-atomic
    > | resources for future generations. |
    > +-----------------------------------------------------------------+ Harris Cyclery, West Newton,
    > Massachusetts Phone 617-244-9772 FAX 617-244-1041 http://harriscyclery.com Hard-to-find parts
    > shipped Worldwide http://captainbike.com http://sheldonbrown.com
    >
    Astoundingly enough, my recent John O' Groats to Lands End ride <yawn> was inadvertantly powered by
    this product. It was passed to me by my employers, liberally sprinkled on a chocolate brownie (well,
    a box of 24 to be exact!!) to cause me to believe I had been provided with a harmless snack. I
    rationed myself to one a day and at no point did I come anywhere near to hitting any walls, bonks
    (as we call 'em in the black country) or anything else that may have proven uncomfortable, despite
    achieving 100+ miles for 8/10 days. I now realise it was due to this covert doping on behalf of my
    employers !! (Note to self :- remember to thank employers and request more!!)

    Regards,

    Dave.
     
  14. >If you don't have Product W, you don't have a chance!
    >
    > See: http://sheldonbrown.com/w.html

    Beware!! Sheldon is having you on!! He lies I tell you, he lies!

    I, helen s, hold my head up and say I am addicted to Product W. I am having to take special
    medication of lots of mg of Mg to try to get me off the Product W. Due to Sheldon pedalling the evil
    Product W, I am reduced to taking it one day at a time to stay of the evil stuff. I don't know how
    long I can last until my next fix.

    I've tried hiding my supplies of Product W in secret cubby holes in the house, but no matter how
    hard I try, I find my kid pilfering my supplies. You evil purveyor of 'W' Sheldon - you are not only
    getting we cyclists hooked - those of us who seek to lead an otherwise healthy lifestyle, you get
    our kids hooked too. Whatever next Sheldon??? You'll be sellling direct to school kids after your
    marketing types get you to put it in bright packaging. Beware Sheldon! He is bad I tell you! Bad!!!

    As punishment you should be made to consume large quantities of dihydrogen monoxide, Sheldon, soak
    in it too! That'll sort out you evil pusher of Product W! Turn your skin to soft wrinkly prune as a
    side effect - that'll teach you!

    Bad Sheldon!

    In withdrawal, helen s

    ~~~~~~~~~~
    Flush out that intestinal parasite and/or the waste product before sending a reply!

    Any speeliong mistake$ aR the resiult of my cats sitting on the keyboaRRRDdd
    ~~~~~~~~~~
     
  15. >A superior version of these pills, free from rampant side effects, have been widely available for
    >at least 50 years in the more civilized parts of the world under the street name 'Smarties'.

    Also, there's the lesser known version referred to as a Treat. Beware when your spouse offers you a
    treat at bedtime. You may not get what you hope for.

    Cheers, helen s

    ~~~~~~~~~~
    Flush out that intestinal parasite and/or the waste product before sending a reply!

    Any speeliong mistake$ aR the resiult of my cats sitting on the keyboaRRRDdd
    ~~~~~~~~~~
     
  16. Tony Raven

    Tony Raven Guest

    wafflycathcsdirtycatlitter <[email protected]> wrote:
    >
    > As punishment you should be made to consume large quantities of dihydrogen monoxide, Sheldon, soak
    > in it too! That'll sort out you evil pusher of Product W! Turn your skin to soft wrinkly prune as
    > a side effect - that'll teach you!
    >
    > Bad Sheldon!
    >

    He may have been bad but that is too extreme a punishment even for Sheldon.

    Dihydrogen monoxide is colorless, odorless, tasteless, and kills uncounted thousands of people every
    year. Most of these deaths are caused by accidental inhalation of DHMO, but the dangers of
    dihydrogen monoxide do not end there. Prolonged exposure to its solid form causes severe tissue
    damage. Symptoms of DHMO ingestion can include excessive sweating and urination, and possibly a
    bloated feeling, nausea, vomiting and body electrolyte imbalance. For those who have become
    dependent, DHMO withdrawal means certain death

    Nasty nasty stuff. Join the campaign against it now - http://samsara.circus.com/~no_dhmo/

    Tony ;-)

    --
    http://www.raven-family.com

    "The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable man persists in trying to
    adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man." -- George
    Bernard Shaw
     
  17. I trumpeted:

    >>ShelBroCo is proud to announce the release of Product W, an indespensable performance aid for
    >>cyclists, runners, chess players and other endurance athletes!
    >>
    >> See: http://sheldonbrown.com/w.html
    >
    Dave Kahn wrote:

    > Warning! Do not visit this page! It is sprinkled with cunningly crafted links whose psycho-active
    > subliminal properties are designed to overload the technical information processing capacity of
    > the unwary cyclist's cerebral cortex. No matter what you are initially looking for you will always
    > end up reading about the internals of obsolete Sturmey Archer hub gears.

    Obsolete? Obsolete??! OBSOLETE!!!? Never!!!

    You can make fun of "my" president at much as you like, but some things are sacred!

    Sheldon "Epicyclic" Brown +------------------------------------------------------+
    | I'm not a member of any organized political party, | I'm a Democrat! -- Will Rogers (1879-1935) |
    +------------------------------------------------------+ Harris Cyclery, West Newton, Massachusetts
    Phone 617-244-9772 FAX 617-244-1041 http://harriscyclery.com Hard-to-find parts shipped Worldwide
    http://captainbike.com http://sheldonbrown.com
     
  18. Jim Price

    Jim Price Guest

    Tony Raven wrote:
    > Sheldon Brown <[email protected]> wrote:
    >
    >>ShelBroCo is proud to announce the release of Product W, an indespensable performance aid for
    >>cyclists, runners, chess players and other endurance athletes!
    >>
    >> See: http://sheldonbrown.com/w.html
    >>
    >>Sheldon "Benefactor Of Mankind" Brown
    >
    >
    > Be very wary of using this drug. Tests have shown a high and often fatal toxicity in dogs.
    > http://www.dogbreederonline.com/chocolate.htm

    Those participating in the Clydesdale category of triathlons should also take note of the following:

    "As can be clearly seen, when caffeine is metabolised in the body, it undergoes demethylation, at
    the hexane 2 position, to reach theobromine."

    And, more importantly:

    "Caffeine can kill. Although this is not often realised, it does have a toxicity level, which varies
    from person to person but is typically in the region 5 to 50 g. For comparison, a typical cup of
    coffee contains approximately 100 mg of caffeine. This would mean needing to drink at least fifty
    cups of coffee in one go for it to be toxic. It should also be noted that these are the toxicity
    levels for humans. The levels for horses could be vastly different. Although it is not easy to say
    whether they could ingest more or less, as their body weight is much greater, this might imply the
    ability to ingest more. Caffeine is not a regular part of a horses diet where as for humans it is.
    Therefore, this suggests humans may be more tolerant of caffeine."

    Am I taking the p!ss? Categorically no, because theobromine is associated with diuretic responses.

    For full details see: www.chemsoc.org/exemplarchem/entries/2002/mcmahon/caffeine_and_theobromine.htm

    Jim "Easy on the chocolate, tiger" Price
     
  19. Tony W

    Tony W Guest

    "wafflycathcsdirtycatlitter" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]...
    > >If you don't have Product W, you don't have a chance!
    > >
    > > See: http://sheldonbrown.com/w.html
    >
    > Beware!! Sheldon is having you on!! He lies I tell you, he lies!
    >
    > I, helen s, hold my head up and say I am addicted to Product W.

    How to torture the Slab Fairy. (speak slowly and emphasis every syllable)

    Lesson 1

    Chocolate Orange.

    Lesson 2

    Cadbury Dairy Milk

    Lesson 3

    Swiss

    :)
     
  20. Tony W

    Tony W Guest

    "Sheldon Brown" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]...
    > > obsolete Sturmey Archer hub gears.
    >
    > Obsolete? Obsolete??! OBSOLETE!!!? Never!!!

    Ahh. Now he speak sense. Wonderful things are Sturmey Archers

    T
     
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