The Guardian in favour of cycling - again



"Alan J. Wylie" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...

> Q: Why do elephants paint the soles of their feet yellow?
> A: So that they can hide upside-down in bowls of custard.


But what do they do about the sharks?

cheers,
clive
 
Simon Brooke <[email protected]> writes:

>Nonononononono....


>Q: How do you get four elephants into a mini?
>A: two in the back and two in the front.


Etcetera...

Someone just spent too much time in hospitals and braces... :)


Roos
 
Simon Brooke wrote:
> Q: How do you know if there's three elephants in your refrigerator?
> A: you can't get the bl**dy door shut.


Q: how do you know if there's four elephants in your refrigerator?
A: There's a mini parked outside.

...d
 
"David Martin" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>
> Simon Brooke wrote:
>> Q: How do you know if there's three elephants in your refrigerator?
>> A: you can't get the bl**dy door shut.

>
> Q: how do you know if there's four elephants in your refrigerator?
> A: There's a mini parked outside.
>
>


Anyone got "The Trouble with Elephants" by Chris Riddell ?

If not, it's well worth a look.
 
Simon Brooke wrote:
>
>Nonononononono....
>
>Q: How do you get four elephants into a mini?
>A: two in the back and two in the front.
>Q: How do you get four giraffes into the mini?
>A: you can't, it's too full of elephants.


Q: How do you know if elephants are gatecrashing your party?
A: By the mini parked outside.
Q: How do you get gatecrashing elephants to leave your party?
A: Tell them four giraffes are outside trying to steal their mini.
 
On Friday 10 Feb 2006 20:30 Alan J. Wylie, wrote:

> Q: How do you get two whales in a mini?
> A: National Route 4
>
> (Ob:Cycling - this joke brought to you courtesy of Sustrans)


Q: Why don't elephants ride bikes?
A: They don't have a thumb to ring the bell.
--
del :cool:
 
in message <9bnHf.373605$tl.230132@pd7tw3no>, graham ('[email protected]')
wrote:

> "congokid" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
>> In message <[email protected]>, Simon
>> Brooke <[email protected]> writes
>>
>>>I can keep it up all night...

>>
>> Is that a joke too?
>>

> He has a prescription for those little blue pills:)


What, the warfarin 3mg? How did you know?

--
[email protected] (Simon Brooke) http://www.jasmine.org.uk/~simon/

[ This mind intentionally left blank ]
 
Simon Brooke wrote:
> in message <9bnHf.373605$tl.230132@pd7tw3no>, graham ('[email protected]')
> wrote:
>
> > "congokid" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> > news:[email protected]...
> >> In message <[email protected]>, Simon
> >> Brooke <[email protected]> writes
> >>
> >>>I can keep it up all night...
> >>
> >> Is that a joke too?
> >>

> > He has a prescription for those little blue pills:)

>
> What, the warfarin 3mg? How did you know?


No, those are slug pellets, not rat poison ;-)

...d
 
Simon Brooke wrote:
>>>

>> He has a prescription for those little blue pills:)

>
> What, the warfarin 3mg? How did you know?
>


Are they to counteract the effects of the EPO? ;-)

--
Tony

"The best way I know of to win an argument is to start by being in the
right."
- Lord Hailsham
 
in message <[email protected]>, Tony Raven
('[email protected]') wrote:

> Simon Brooke wrote:
>>>>
>>> He has a prescription for those little blue pills:)

>>
>> What, the warfarin 3mg? How did you know?

>
> Are they to counteract the effects of the EPO? ;-)


Look, just don't tell the UCI, OK?

--
[email protected] (Simon Brooke) http://www.jasmine.org.uk/~simon/

I shall continue to be an impossible person so long as those
who are now possible remain possible -- Michael Bakunin
 
Simon Brooke wrote:
> in message <[email protected]>, Tony Raven
> ('[email protected]') wrote:
>
>> Simon Brooke wrote:
>>>> He has a prescription for those little blue pills:)
>>> What, the warfarin 3mg? How did you know?

>> Are they to counteract the effects of the EPO? ;-)

>
> Look, just don't tell the UCI, OK?
>


Vos secrets sont sûrs avec moi ;-)

--
Pierre Ballester

"Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs"
Lily Tomlin
 
"Tony Raven" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Simon Brooke wrote:
>> in message <[email protected]>, Tony Raven
>> ('[email protected]') wrote:
>>
>>> Simon Brooke wrote:
>>>>> He has a prescription for those little blue pills:)
>>>> What, the warfarin 3mg? How did you know?
>>> Are they to counteract the effects of the EPO? ;-)

>>
>> Look, just don't tell the UCI, OK?
>>

>
> Vos secrets sont sûrs avec moi ;-)
>


Hah! Never mind falling off the bike causing him to put his back out... it's
responding to all of those adverts for pills that actually caused such an
increase in size in the manly regions that his poor spine couldn't cope with
the extra load. That'll teach him to respond to such adverts. Be warned
boys, size isn't everything ;-)

Cheers, helen s
 
wafflycat wrote:
>
> Hah! Never mind falling off the bike causing him to put his back out...
> it's responding to all of those adverts for pills that actually caused
> such an increase in size in the manly regions that his poor spine
> couldn't cope with the extra load. That'll teach him to respond to such
> adverts. Be warned boys, size isn't everything ;-)
>


You're starting to give me a different perspective on all this being
strapped into a body restraint ;-)


--
Tony

"The best way I know of to win an argument is to start by being in the
right."
- Lord Hailsham
 
in message <[email protected]>, Tony Raven
('[email protected]') wrote:

> Simon Brooke wrote:
>> in message <[email protected]>, Tony Raven
>> ('[email protected]') wrote:
>>
>>> Simon Brooke wrote:
>>>>> He has a prescription for those little blue pills:)
>>>> What, the warfarin 3mg? How did you know?
>>> Are they to counteract the effects of the EPO? ;-)

>>
>> Look, just don't tell the UCI, OK?

>
> Vos secrets sont sûrs avec moi ;-)


I liked your .sig generator's comment on that.

--
[email protected] (Simon Brooke) http://www.jasmine.org.uk/~simon/

:: Wisdom is better than weapons of war ::
:: Ecclesiastes 9:18 ::
 
In message id <[email protected]>
on 10 Feb 2006 04:17:29 -0800, sothach wrote in uk.rec.cycling :

>Richard wrote:
>
>> Depends if it's banning those who are more than 10% /over/ the traffic
>> stream average, or more than 10% /different to/ the traffic stream
>> average. The OP's 'of' the TSA is ambiguous, and TBH I read it the same
>> as Jim at first. :)

>
>Yer, dats wot i did mean - the high standards of scholarship in (on?)
>this NG are appreciated almost always by this alliterate barsteward.
>
>The TSA idea was mooted in Germany as to what to do about the so-called
>'Drengler' - these are - as often as not BMW - drivers who hare up
>behind anyone in the overtaking lane of an Autobahn, and try and
>intimidate them out of the way, sometimes as in a recent case, killing
>them in the process. One suggestion was to measure speeds on a stretch
>and set the max speed M25-style as something like 110% the average
>speed - I guess there might have been an upper limit, though maybe not.


What is it with drivers of BMWs? To me they are Bloody Minded Wankers
taking far too many risks for the conditions. Mercedes drivers are not
far behind them and together they leave WVM (White Van Man) looking
like a paragon of virtue in comparison. Women with small children on
the school run spending more time keeping an eye on what the sprogs
are up to in the cabin rather than what is going on around them in the
road at up to 30mph come in next on my danger list top 3.

And to top it all, Thursdays for some reason are nightmarish. I don't
know why, but I feel more vulnerable on a Thursday than any other day
of the week. Sunday mornings are the safest, as I guess, drivers are
still sleeping off the previous night's alcohol intake.

On a Thursday traffic seems to be heavier in volume of vehicles; more
aggressive in their manoeuvring; less likely to be cognisant of me on
the bike thus getting far too close when passing or deciding to turn
left at the last moment; more likely to kerb crawl with their tyres on
the red/yellow lines making passing them whilst they are stationary
difficult to say the least and because they are more aggressive, less
accommodating as a group to let me *out of the gutter* to pass them on
the right hand side whilst they are stationary / slow moving. Once
they *get up to speed* ie faster than me, the attitude seems to be
*get the out of my way*.





Sorry for that rant.

Whinge over.

Just needed to get it off my chest.
 
In message id <[email protected]> on Fri, 17
Feb 2006 02:35:57 +0000, John Blake wrote in uk.rec.cycling :

Damn that spell checker!

Checks everything bit the subkect. ;-)

Should be hazardous
 
John Blake wrote:
> In message id <[email protected]> on Fri, 17
> Feb 2006 02:35:57 +0000, John Blake wrote in uk.rec.cycling :
>
> Damn that spell checker!
>
> Checks everything bit the subkect. ;-)
>


I thought it was an attempt at the standard Grauniad humour.

--
Tony

"The best way I know of to win an argument is to start by being in the
right."
- Lord Hailsham
 
On Fri, 17 Feb 2006 02:35:57 +0000, John Blake wrote:


>
> What is it with drivers of BMWs? To me they are Bloody Minded Wankers


If there are any BMW drivers on this NG you know what John thinks of you,
cyclist or not.

--
Michael MacClancy
 

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