P
Preston Crawfor
Guest
X-No-Archive: yes
I'm asking this here (also) in case any of you have experience with this and can shed some light
on what I should be looking at. There are some people here I trust, hopefully they can provide
some advice.
------------------------------
I wrote the below (about being brief) before I started this. It isn't going to be brief, though, but
please bear with me as I need advice.
------------------------------
I'll try to keep this brief. I've had problems with anxiety for a while now. Probably around 5 years
that I've known of. Around y2k I was realy anxious that something was going to happen. I was a
constant news junkie, kept myself immersed in all that was going to go wrong. I was certain,
especially understanding the economy and the bubble market at the time, that if any failures of any
scale occurred that panic would ensure. Actually, it wasn't so much the failures I was worried
about, but the panic. I was worried that in this just-in-time economy we live in, disruptions could
lead to panic and panic to food shortages, riots, and then perhaps business failures, etc.
For the last few years as I got myself healthier I haven't dealt with that kind of panic, really.
I've mostly been able to ignore the larger world events and focus on exercising, eating better, etc.
I've had my own personal panic issues. Mostly minor anxiety attacks brought on by how my body felt
that caused me to go to the hospital fearing the worst. I've gotten tested for lots of different
things in order to allay these fears.
** As those of you who have read my past posts in the newsgroup know, this is something I've dealt
with (and posted here about) off and on for a while. **
Then 9/11 happened. I hate to admit it, but 9/11 sent me into quite a tailspin. I started doing the
things I did before y2k. Stocking up on food, reading and talking about the news constantly (in fact
I'm certain some of that behavior has unfortunately manifested itself in this very newsgroup),
preparing physically as if I were going to have to be in survivalist mode eventually. I was still
able to function fine at work and everything, but this was definitely a problem that I continued to
rationalize by saying "Hey, these things really are happening in the world, my reaction is right,
it's the other people who don't see what's happening that have a problem." I still believe this is
partially right, that some people aren't worried enough, but I obviously know now that worry
excessively does no good physically or mentally. Especially physically since I need to be able to
sleep well and thus be able to work as I normally do.
Well, 4 days a go I had a huge problem with insomnia. Worked myself into a paniced frenzy about not
being able to sleep well enough or enough to be ready for work on Monday. Consequently I only slept
two fitfull hours. The next day the same thing happened and I went to the hospital at 4am where
they gave me Ativan. I took the Ativan (I've been very reluctant to take any kind of brain
medicine, so please keep this in mind with what I say later) that didn't do much for me. I slept 3
hours, then I was awake again for the next day. That night (Tuesday) I really got focused on
relaxing. I spent all day at home jittery from the two days of insomnia, but at 8 I relaxed, took
0.75mg of the Ativan and slept like a baby. Worked yesterday and saw a psychologist for the first
time, which seemed to go fine.
Then last night I started the same routine, except I only took 0.5mg. Didn't get to sleep. Took
another 0.25mg and eventually got to sleep, but I was in and out throughout the night and today I
don't feel well.
So I have a few questions.
#1 - Am I putting myself at risk right now by seeing a psychologist and
not a psychiatrist? I really think this is something I can control, but after talking to a relative
in my family (4 close relatives in my family are all on a psych med) and after going through that so
so night last night I'm now getting anxious (fun, I know) that I'm destined for medication. I don't
know how I'm going to sleep tonight.
#2 - If I had to take medication is there any that is safe and actually
makes you feel "normal"? I hear so much about bad reactions and side effects that my main
reservation is that I don't want to do more harm than good.
#3 - Is it possible that taking a lower dose of the ativan earlier was the
problem with last night and that I was just still dealing with the effects of the insomnia?
I'm obviously going to barrage my doctors with all these questions today, but I thought I'd ask some
people I trusted who may have dealt with this before or had loved ones who had.
Preston
I'm asking this here (also) in case any of you have experience with this and can shed some light
on what I should be looking at. There are some people here I trust, hopefully they can provide
some advice.
------------------------------
I wrote the below (about being brief) before I started this. It isn't going to be brief, though, but
please bear with me as I need advice.
------------------------------
I'll try to keep this brief. I've had problems with anxiety for a while now. Probably around 5 years
that I've known of. Around y2k I was realy anxious that something was going to happen. I was a
constant news junkie, kept myself immersed in all that was going to go wrong. I was certain,
especially understanding the economy and the bubble market at the time, that if any failures of any
scale occurred that panic would ensure. Actually, it wasn't so much the failures I was worried
about, but the panic. I was worried that in this just-in-time economy we live in, disruptions could
lead to panic and panic to food shortages, riots, and then perhaps business failures, etc.
For the last few years as I got myself healthier I haven't dealt with that kind of panic, really.
I've mostly been able to ignore the larger world events and focus on exercising, eating better, etc.
I've had my own personal panic issues. Mostly minor anxiety attacks brought on by how my body felt
that caused me to go to the hospital fearing the worst. I've gotten tested for lots of different
things in order to allay these fears.
** As those of you who have read my past posts in the newsgroup know, this is something I've dealt
with (and posted here about) off and on for a while. **
Then 9/11 happened. I hate to admit it, but 9/11 sent me into quite a tailspin. I started doing the
things I did before y2k. Stocking up on food, reading and talking about the news constantly (in fact
I'm certain some of that behavior has unfortunately manifested itself in this very newsgroup),
preparing physically as if I were going to have to be in survivalist mode eventually. I was still
able to function fine at work and everything, but this was definitely a problem that I continued to
rationalize by saying "Hey, these things really are happening in the world, my reaction is right,
it's the other people who don't see what's happening that have a problem." I still believe this is
partially right, that some people aren't worried enough, but I obviously know now that worry
excessively does no good physically or mentally. Especially physically since I need to be able to
sleep well and thus be able to work as I normally do.
Well, 4 days a go I had a huge problem with insomnia. Worked myself into a paniced frenzy about not
being able to sleep well enough or enough to be ready for work on Monday. Consequently I only slept
two fitfull hours. The next day the same thing happened and I went to the hospital at 4am where
they gave me Ativan. I took the Ativan (I've been very reluctant to take any kind of brain
medicine, so please keep this in mind with what I say later) that didn't do much for me. I slept 3
hours, then I was awake again for the next day. That night (Tuesday) I really got focused on
relaxing. I spent all day at home jittery from the two days of insomnia, but at 8 I relaxed, took
0.75mg of the Ativan and slept like a baby. Worked yesterday and saw a psychologist for the first
time, which seemed to go fine.
Then last night I started the same routine, except I only took 0.5mg. Didn't get to sleep. Took
another 0.25mg and eventually got to sleep, but I was in and out throughout the night and today I
don't feel well.
So I have a few questions.
#1 - Am I putting myself at risk right now by seeing a psychologist and
not a psychiatrist? I really think this is something I can control, but after talking to a relative
in my family (4 close relatives in my family are all on a psych med) and after going through that so
so night last night I'm now getting anxious (fun, I know) that I'm destined for medication. I don't
know how I'm going to sleep tonight.
#2 - If I had to take medication is there any that is safe and actually
makes you feel "normal"? I hear so much about bad reactions and side effects that my main
reservation is that I don't want to do more harm than good.
#3 - Is it possible that taking a lower dose of the ativan earlier was the
problem with last night and that I was just still dealing with the effects of the insomnia?
I'm obviously going to barrage my doctors with all these questions today, but I thought I'd ask some
people I trusted who may have dealt with this before or had loved ones who had.
Preston