The only thing I use but mostly because it's the cheapest is coconut oil. Not even virgin coconut oil. I'm sure virgin coconut oil would be better but regular coconut oil works just as well.
Coconut oil would possess some of the features of cycling specific creams like anti-inflammatory, anti-bacterial, but with no fragrances added. I've even used coconut oil in place of Betadine or Hydrogen Peroxide to treat wounds. I use one that is made for cooking/frying so it's edible and in my experience does not cause any skin irritations. The only disadvantage of coconut oil, is more easily removed by sweat but I've used it on summer centuries without problems. It doesn't actually gets taken all out on a very sweaty long ride, a small amount still remains.
Still, the best way to reduce chaffing is to have the right saddle shape for your butt and pedaling technique like you mentioned earlier, bike fit dialed in, and good isolation from road bumps (if the roads are bad in your area like ill-maintained pavement or gravel). The butt should be settled in good in the saddle when pedaling comfortably, without oscillating sideways or back and forth and thighs and crotch not rubbing any part of the saddle.
I don't actually use oil all the time on long rides. If the terrain is mostly flat and roads are good quality like just doing multiple laps in a rich neighborhood in the city for 60 miles, I don't put anything down there at all, not even padded shorts, just simple, loose quick dry shorts. If going outside the city with big climbs, I then go with oil with either padded or non- padded shorts.
Correct saddle position is number ONE. But remember, I weigh twice what you do so 240 pounds on even a good saddle and position is going to take it's toll.
Another thing, I'm not the sweat wet dripping type. So my chamois gets dry and my skin sticks to my chamois. Also not a hairy guy (TMI, TMI) so I haven't much to separate my skin from the pad. I get dry so the pad sticks and I don't Chaffe actually. I stick so I usectge anti cream as lube to keep loose from the chamois.