Cycling Joke

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by melodyeye, Jun 28, 2010.

  1. jusumortal

    jusumortal New Member

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    In case you forget how to wear your helmet, this funny cycling picture will help you. Unfortunately, it doesn’t cover putting the helmet on backward! How many times have you seen that? I’ll try to track down a picture of that and post it.
    [​IMG]
     


  2. jusumortal

    jusumortal New Member

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    A cute cycling picture showing phases of a cyclists life.
    [​IMG]
     
  3. jusumortal

    jusumortal New Member

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    Sometimes you just gotta think outside the box to gain an advantage over your competitors. A funny cycling picture depicting an aero unicycle.
    [​IMG]
     
  4. jusumortal

    jusumortal New Member

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    What is a ghost-proof bicycle?

    One with no spooks in it.
     
  5. jusumortal

    jusumortal New Member

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    What does a bicycle call its dad?
    Pop-cycle
     
  6. jusumortal

    jusumortal New Member

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    What do you call a crazy pavement?
    A cycle path.
     
  7. jusumortal

    jusumortal New Member

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    What do you call a bicycle with a bed on top?

    Bedridden
     
  8. jusumortal

    jusumortal New Member

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    Bicycles:
    Runs on fat and saves you money.

    Cars:
    Runs on money and makes you fat.
     
  9. jusumortal

    jusumortal New Member

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    They say money can’t buy happiness. But, it can buy bikes and beer. Do we need anything else?
     
  10. jusumortal

    jusumortal New Member

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    I just got a new bike lock. To unlock, you must hug the bike for 10 minutes. Sure, someone could steal it. But at least I knew they really wanted it.
     
  11. jusumortal

    jusumortal New Member

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    Studies have shown that riding a bicycle every day makes you more awesome than the general population.
     
  12. jusumortal

    jusumortal New Member

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    The most annoying are those people in exceptionally good shape at the gym. I’m like,"What are you doing here? You’re done."
     
  13. jusumortal

    jusumortal New Member

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    Sad truth:
    You can exercise all you want. You’re never going to burn off crazy.
     
  14. jusumortal

    jusumortal New Member

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    Dear Abby,

    I’ve never written to you before, but I really need your advice. I have suspected for some time now that my wife is cheating on me. I see the usual signals; the phone rings and when I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with ‘the girls’ a lot lately, although when I ask for their names she says, “just some friends from work, you don’t know them.” I try to stay awake to see when she comes home, but I always fall asleep. I think deep down, I just didn’t want to know the truth.

    Last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her. Around midnight, I decided to hide in the garage behind my road and mountain bikes so I could get a good view of the street when she arrived home from her night out with ‘the girls’. When she got out of the car, she was buttoning up her blouse, which was open. She took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that very moment, crouching behind my bike, I noticed a slight crack in the downtube, two inches behind the headset. Is this something I can fix myself, or should I take it back to the bike shop?

    — Concerned Cyclist
     
  15. Kakashi

    Kakashi Active Member

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    Cycle with me? I feel like I’m on a whole other gear when I’m with you!
     
  16. Kakashi

    Kakashi Active Member

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    Unicycle? Girlllll! How about
    U-‘n’-I cycle?
     
  17. jusumortal

    jusumortal New Member

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    If you want to know why the Brits are so good at cycling…. Then just take a look at the cost of public transport.
     
  18. jusumortal

    jusumortal New Member

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    I’m no Tour de France expert… but it seems that the best way to win is to wear a yellow t-shirt
     
  19. jusumortal

    jusumortal New Member

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    Q: When is a bicycle not a bicycle?

    A: When it turns into a driveway.
     
  20. jusumortal

    jusumortal New Member

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    A devout cyclist dies and goes to heaven. Saint Peter meets him at the gate. The cyclist asks if there are bicycles in heaven. Peter says “Sure, let me show you,” and leads the guy into the finest Velodrome you can imagine.

    “This is great,” the cyclist says. “You will love it here,” says Peter. “You will be fitted with a custom track bike, the mechanics will glue on fresh silks each night, and your personal masseuse is always available.” As they speak a blur fly by them on the boards riding a gold plated Cinelli and the cyclist says “Wow he was fast, that must be Eddy Merckx!”

    “No,” says Peter, “that was God, he only wishes he was Eddy”.
     
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