Ride & Hostility Report

Discussion in 'Australia and New Zealand' started by LotteBum, Jun 8, 2005.

  1. LotteBum

    LotteBum New Member

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    When the alarm went off at 5:20 this morning, I said something along the lines of “Twennytosix” to my partner, who rolled over and let it go for another twenty minutes. I spent these next twenty minutes on a rather hostile dream which involved assaulting someone who had cut me off at the Springfield Parkway/Centenary Highway roundabout (this happens just about every morning, so I guess this is only natural). I jumped out of bed at 5:40 and told Paul about my dream, then asked him if he would come and visit me in jail if I did in fact assault someone on my way to work. He tried to talk me out of it…



    At 6am, I left… still dark… rather cold…. And the roads were wet because all the parks are irrigated early in the morning. I didn't even come close to being cut off at said roundabout, so the urge to assault was quickly overcome by sheer surprise that for once, no-one had tried to kill me on that roundabout. I have a feeling this is because there were actually no cars around.



    My ride went on… it’s always relatively boring. I ride 13km before I get to a traffic light. Then I go through an industrial area which can be a little on the annoying side at night (scary). Of course, it didn’t take long for someone to p!ss me off by turning left in front of me and causing me to haul on the brakes fairly hard. “C0CKLUNCH!!!” was all I could muster up to scream at the (surprise, surprise) Commodore utility. I hope he heard me.



    About 10km from work, at Sherwood, I got passed by a man who didn’t really look all that fit and rode a mediocre bike. That CUT my pride to bits. Soon after, I caught up with him after the Indooroopilly Bridge where another cyclists ran a red light straight in front of us. To make sure the other cyclist (the one that cut my pride to bits) wasn’t about to do the same thing, I said “He must be really important to be running a red light like that”. Had a quick conversation about how other cyclists who run red lights in front of cars are just complete, utter fools. He then showed me a ‘shortcut’ which avoids a section of unusually busy (usually with Cayennes and Prados) back street through Indooroopilly. Heeeeey, nice short cut. NOT. This shortcut was ah, rather steep. I made it up only to discover that it was actually a significant short cut and one which I’ll more than likely use in future, despite the hill.


    The bike path was chaotic, as always, with pedestrians walking out in front of me regularly, sun in my eyes etc. (not a big fan of Brisbane bike paths). It wasn’t until I got to work that I realised I no longer have toes. Or so it seems because I sure as hell can’t feel them. Am working on growing some new ones as we speak.



    Now, onto something else. I feel that I am becoming rather hostile lately. A bit like a volcano. I fear that one day my partner will be visiting me in jail (and hopefully Tamyka and AH as well) because I’ve repeatedly smashed some man’s head into the road. My newspaper article will read:



    Cyclist Assaults Innocent Elderly Man



    Police are appealing for witnesses to an apparently unprovoked assault in Brisbane on Saturday during which an elderly man was viciously assaulted by a cyclist at a set of traffic lights…………. It will go on to say that the man was ‘just driving along’ when the cyclist attacked him and blah blah blah…

    Ah that'll do. I'm being a whinging whining woman now.

    Have a nice day
     
    Tags:


  2. LotteBum <[email protected]> wrote:
    > ::Now, onto something else. I feel that I am becoming rather hostile
    > lately. A bit like a volcano. I fear that one day my partner will be
    > visiting me in jail (and hopefully Tamyka and AH as well) because I've
    > repeatedly smashed some man's head into the road. My newspaper article
    > will read:::
    >
    > :: ::
    >
    > ::*Cyclist Assaults Innocent Elderly Man*::
    >


    Maybe instead of dreaming about hitting them, try this....

    Tap on the driver's window at the set of lights. Smile. Say "you [insert
    unacceptable behaviour] back there. I don't think you should be on the
    road." Reach in to driver's compartment. Remove keys from ignition. Ride
    off with keys in pocket. Deposit keys in nearest post box [aka drainage
    grate]. Laugh.

    Peter

    --
    Peter McCallum
    Mackay Qld AUSTRALIA
     
  3. flyingdutch

    flyingdutch New Member

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    bwahahahah

    tossing keys up onto nearby shop awning worked for me :D
     
  4. LotteBum

    LotteBum New Member

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    You're just full of great ideas! I'm going to at least try to do that one day!

    Thanks for the tip Peter.

    Lotte who just received a letter from Australia post asking for $69.60 as customs duty and GST on $231.51 worth of stuff from www.probikekit.com. F*CKING RUDE. I ALWAYS get hit with this sh!t.
     
  5. LotteBum

    LotteBum New Member

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    FD said:

    Tossing keys up onto nearby shop awning worked for me :D

    You did this??!?!?!?! Please elaborate.
     
  6. LotteBum <[email protected]> wrote:
    > You're just full of great ideas! I'm going to at least try to do that
    > one day!


    You have to be reasonably quick. Look for the ignition as you ride up
    beside the car. It's pretty easy to just reach in, turn off the ignition
    and pull your arm back out.

    Don't do what I did the first time .... hurl the keys across the road.
    The driver just retrieved them and came after me wielding an iron bar
    (some sort of tyre lever I think). I had to take that off him and hurl
    that over the nearest fence too. In the end he asked me to help him get
    it back (had to laugh at that).

    P
    --
    Peter McCallum
    Mackay Qld AUSTRALIA
     
  7. flyingdutch

    flyingdutch New Member

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    Years Ago, ridin along Bridge Rd richmond.
    Woman double parked getting latte out of yuppie-trough-shop.
    She comes out, sees me and STILL proceeds to open door at me!$#@!
    I stop and hurl appropriate abuse at her, then ride off. She chases me and at next lights pulls up on my left. Still venting spleen,and somehow trying to justify her stupidity, i reach in, grab keys and throw em up on nearby shop awning. and ride off.
    she is left there with cars behind blaring horn at her to get out of way.

    Moral? karma rides a bike, baby :D

    PS easier if car is convertible
     
  8. DaveB

    DaveB Guest

    LotteBum wrote:
    >
    > ::Now, onto something else. I feel that I am becoming rather hostile
    > lately. A bit like a volcano. I fear that one day my partner will be


    I found myself thinking along those lines last year on certain sections
    of road, so I changed the route to work. Took a bit longer but enjoyed
    the ride much more. I've since returned to my original route but found
    that riding earlier helped because:
    a) there were less drivers late for work driving like maniacs (still
    some but easier to avoid)
    b) I avoided the parents driving kids to school time period

    Haven't had to chase a car for more than a year now (BR excepted).

    DaveB "serenity now"
     
  9. Marty

    Marty Guest

    LotteBum wrote:
    > You're just full of great ideas! I'm going to at least try to do that
    > one day!
    >
    > Thanks for the tip Peter.
    >
    > Lotte who just received a letter from Australia post asking for $69.60
    > as customs duty and GST on $231.51 worth of stuff from
    > 'www.probikekit.com' (http://www.probikekit.com). F*CKING RUDE. I
    > ALWAYS get hit with this sh!t.
    >
    >


    What did you order?

    (So we can avoid it/them in the future).

    Marty
     
  10. blah

    blah Guest

    I prefer 'hoochie mumma".
     
  11. giantbike

    giantbike New Member

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    Sorry to hear about this.But at least it turns up for you to collect.I considered myself lucky in this regards that I had over 250 worth of order but got away with the GST.Just one thing for us to see and to prevent in the future is,please let us know if your goods come in one or two parcels?As mine,although has what seems to be over the allowable tax free thresthold,but due to the goods come in two seperate parcels (the declared value on each parcel hence is way down),that may be the reason for the tax free reason.Please let us update on this issue.

    Cheers,

    Ivan.
     
  12. SteveA

    SteveA New Member

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    Lotte,

    you must be very special to get a letter from AusPost. Was it a parcel of clothing by any chance?

    SteveA
     
  13. SteveA

    SteveA New Member

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    Almost compulsory if the car is a convertable!:D


    SteveA
     
  14. Marty

    Marty Guest

    Peter McCallum wrote:
    > LotteBum <[email protected]> wrote:
    >
    >>You're just full of great ideas! I'm going to at least try to do that
    >>one day!

    >
    >
    > You have to be reasonably quick. Look for the ignition as you ride up
    > beside the car. It's pretty easy to just reach in, turn off the ignition
    > and pull your arm back out.
    >
    > Don't do what I did the first time .... hurl the keys across the road.
    > The driver just retrieved them and came after me wielding an iron bar
    > (some sort of tyre lever I think). I had to take that off him and hurl
    > that over the nearest fence too. In the end he asked me to help him get
    > it back (had to laugh at that).
    >
    > P


    Did he hit you with it after you helped him find it?

    :)

    Marty
     
  15. Marty <[email protected]> wrote:
    > Did he hit you with it after you helped him find it?


    He's probably still looking for it as far as I know. Somewhere in the
    Brisbane maritime museum.

    --
    Peter McCallum
    Mackay Qld AUSTRALIA
     
  16. BrettS

    BrettS Guest

    flyingdutch wrote:
    > Years Ago, ridin along Bridge Rd richmond.
    > Woman double parked getting latte out of yuppie-trough-shop.
    > She comes out, sees me and STILL proceeds to open door at me!$#@!
    > I stop and hurl appropriate abuse at her, then ride off. She chases me
    > and at next lights pulls up on my left. Still venting spleen,and
    > somehow trying to justify her stupidity, i reach in, grab keys and
    > throw em up on nearby shop awning. and ride off.
    > she is left there with cars behind blaring horn at her to get out of
    > way.
    >
    > Moral? karma rides a bike, baby :D
    >
    > PS easier if car is convertible
    >
    >


    Yeah baby! I LLLLIKE it! Hehehe...

    <idea filed away for appropriate time>

    --
    BrettS
     
  17. Tamyka Bell

    Tamyka Bell Guest

    <snip LotteBum's rant, although it's always justified...>

    Dude, of course I'll visit you, and of course I'll polish up your
    shotty...

    Where's the Indooro shortcut... 'fess up!

    Tam
     
  18. Tamyka Bell

    Tamyka Bell Guest

    On Thu, 9 Jun 2005, flyingdutch wrote:

    >
    > Peter McCallum Wrote:
    >> LotteBum <[email protected]> wrote:
    >>> ::Now, onto something else. I feel that I am becoming rather

    >> hostile
    >>> lately. A bit like a volcano. I fear that one day my partner will

    >> be
    >>> visiting me in jail (and hopefully Tamyka and AH as well) because

    >> I've
    >>> repeatedly smashed some man's head into the road. My newspaper

    >> article
    >>> will read:::
    >>>
    >>> :: ::
    >>>
    >>> ::*Cyclist Assaults Innocent Elderly Man*::
    >>>

    >>
    >> Maybe instead of dreaming about hitting them, try this....
    >>
    >> Tap on the driver's window at the set of lights. Smile. Say "you
    >> [insert
    >> unacceptable behaviour] back there. I don't think you should be on the
    >> road." Reach in to driver's compartment. Remove keys from ignition.
    >> Ride
    >> off with keys in pocket. Deposit keys in nearest post box [aka
    >> drainage
    >> grate]. Laugh.
    >>
    >> Peter
    >>
    >> --
    >> Peter McCallum
    >> Mackay Qld AUSTRALIA

    >
    >
    > bwahahahah
    >
    > tossing keys up onto nearby shop awning worked for me :D
    >
    >
    > --
    > flyingdutch


    That is sooo cool.

    Unfortunately, I appear to be the most identifiable cyclist in BrisVegas
    :(

    Tam
     
  19. Tamyka Bell

    Tamyka Bell Guest

    On Thu, 9 Jun 2005, DaveB wrote:

    > LotteBum wrote:
    >>
    >> ::Now, onto something else. I feel that I am becoming rather hostile
    >> lately. A bit like a volcano. I fear that one day my partner will be

    >
    > I found myself thinking along those lines last year on certain sections of
    > road, so I changed the route to work. Took a bit longer but enjoyed the ride
    > much more. I've since returned to my original route but found that riding
    > earlier helped because:
    > a) there were less drivers late for work driving like maniacs (still some but
    > easier to avoid)
    > b) I avoided the parents driving kids to school time period
    >
    > Haven't had to chase a car for more than a year now (BR excepted).
    >
    > DaveB "serenity now"
    >


    Interesting... I find it so much safer on the main road. Plus I get that
    insane glee from beating the [email protected] across the lights, from sitting in
    the middle of the lane BECAUSE they tried to cut me off... etc...
    *serenity now*

    Tam
     
  20. Tamyka Bell

    Tamyka Bell Guest

    On Thu, 9 Jun 2005, giantbike wrote:

    >
    > LotteBum Wrote:
    >>
    >>
    >> Lotte who just received a letter from Australia post asking for $69.60
    >> as customs duty and GST on $231.51 worth of stuff from
    >> 'www.probikekit.com' (http://www.probikekit.com). F*CKING RUDE. I
    >> ALWAYS get hit with this sh!t.

    >
    > Sorry to hear about this.But at least it turns up for you to collect.I
    > considered myself lucky in this regards that I had over 250 worth of
    > order but got away with the GST.Just one thing for us to see and to
    > prevent in the future is,please let us know if your goods come in one
    > or two parcels?As mine,although has what seems to be over the allowable
    > tax free thresthold,but due to the goods come in two seperate parcels
    > (the declared value on each parcel hence is way down),that may be the
    > reason for the tax free reason.Please let us update on this issue.
    >
    > Cheers,
    >
    > Ivan.
    >
    >
    > --
    > giantbike
    >
    >


    I reckon it was Absent Husband's fault... let's get him!
     
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