Support - or slap round the chops



J

John Hearns

Guest
I need some group support.
Or a slap round the chops and some advice to calm down...

Out riding, along a two-way street.
Come to central 'pedestrian refuge'. I move out to almost
(not quite) the centre of the road, to prevent cars squeezing past me.
I always swing in after this pinch point.
After the pinch, cue Golf driver beeping his horn at me.
I reply "Don't sound your horn at me"
Cue door opening, "F*** off", I think I may have done a wee sweary-word
in reply, and said "You won;t push me off the road".
Cue ****** driver pulling in at speed into sidestreet on left, getting
out of car to challenge me with shouting and swearing.
I continued on my way, eyeing up possible escape routes should he drive
after me. I think there was a woman with him in the car.


Bought an Air Zound to make myself feel better.
And a nice Topeak barbag to boot.
 
"John Hearns" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:p[email protected]...
> I need some group support.
> Or a slap round the chops and some advice to calm down...
>
> Out riding, along a two-way street.
> Come to central 'pedestrian refuge'. I move out to almost
> (not quite) the centre of the road, to prevent cars squeezing past me.
> I always swing in after this pinch point.
> After the pinch, cue Golf driver beeping his horn at me.
> I reply "Don't sound your horn at me"
> Cue door opening, "F*** off", I think I may have done a wee sweary-word
> in reply, and said "You won;t push me off the road".
> Cue ****** driver pulling in at speed into sidestreet on left, getting
> out of car to challenge me with shouting and swearing.
> I continued on my way, eyeing up possible escape routes should he drive
> after me. I think there was a woman with him in the car.

Similar thing happened to me on the way to Croydon a couple of years ago -
mine was a light blue Merc. Discretion took the better part of valour and I
turned left on a red light to get away from him.

The only moral is that there are complete twats about. If you meet one, make
sure you've got an escape route (as you said). Take the reg no if you can,
and report it. The plod will probably ignore you, but if it happens a lot
with this guy, your information may be useful.

Whatever you do, don't get into a fight. There's nothing wrong in running
away.

(cf general tone on various car groups "I'd have twatted him one" etc -
either these people fancy themselves in a fight, or they're very stupid)

cheers,
clive
 
"John Hearns" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:p[email protected]...
>I need some group support.
> Or a slap round the chops and some advice to calm down...
>


Support. Next full moon I'll make a wax effigy of Golf with driver and
whilst chanting strange chants & dancing nekkid round the willow tree in the
garden, said driver will be duly cursed for the next thousand years, with
the seed of his loins impaired forever.

Will that do?

Cheers, helen s
 
"John Hearns" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:p[email protected]...
> I need some group support.
> Or a slap round the chops and some advice to calm down...

Don't get mad -- get even

> Bought an Air Zound to make myself feel better.

Ahh, you have.


I had one plonker fish-tailing his car badly as he squeezed past me in the
wet to get to a similar narrowing ahead of me -- he was lucky to keep
control and to miss various parked cars.

He was effing and blinding at me at the (red) lights 100 yards further on.
What was I doing wrong? Nothing.

Discression suggested a quick trip across the park :~)

T
 
"wafflycat" <wafflesATv21netDOTcoDOTuk> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>
> "John Hearns" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:p[email protected]...
>>I need some group support.
>> Or a slap round the chops and some advice to calm down...
>>
>
>
> Support. Next full moon I'll make a wax effigy of Golf with driver and
> whilst chanting strange chants & dancing nekkid round the willow tree in
> the garden, said driver will be duly cursed for the next thousand years,
> with the seed of his loins impaired forever.
>
> Will that do?
>
> Cheers, helen s
What happens if you get the wrong driver? :)

Bernard
 
On Mon, 21 Mar 2005 15:18:14 +0000, wafflycat wrote:

> Support. Next full moon I'll make a wax effigy of Golf with driver and
> whilst chanting strange chants & dancing nekkid round the willow tree in the
> garden, said driver will be duly cursed for the next thousand years, with
> the seed of his loins impaired forever.
>
> Will that do?
Yes indeed. Thankyou.
 
Clive George wrote:
>
> (cf general tone on various car groups "I'd have twatted him one" etc -
> either these people fancy themselves in a fight, or they're very stupid)
>

More like bravado that evaporates if actually put to the test.

Tony
 
On Mon, 21 Mar 2005 15:18:14 -0000, "wafflycat"
<wafflesATv21netDOTcoDOTuk> wrote:

>Support. Next full moon I'll make a wax effigy of Golf with driver and
>whilst chanting strange chants & dancing nekkid round the willow tree in the

Where do you live again?

--
Microsoft Sam speaks his mind:
www.artybee.net/sam_speaks_his_mind.mp3
 
"John Hearns" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:p[email protected]...
> Cue ****** driver pulling in at speed into sidestreet on left, getting
> out of car to challenge me with shouting and swearing.
> I continued on my way, eyeing up possible escape routes should he drive
> after me. I think there was a woman with him in the car.

I bet she either thought: "This bloke I'm with's a ******" or "My guy's so
tough, pity about his limp *****".

Pete
 
In article <[email protected]>,
[email protected] says...
> I need some group support.
> Or a slap round the chops and some advice to calm down...
>
<snip tale of Muppet in car>
>
>
> Bought an Air Zound to make myself feel better.
> And a nice Topeak barbag to boot.
>
>
Airzounds are very nice, but be aware they can antagonise those already
deficient of tolerance hormones. Using mine once at a pinch point, after
being squeezed past by a Muppet in a people carrier was obviously the
final straw that caused him to stop, get out and threaten me. I think
the fact I declined his offer to get off my recumbent was what prevented
him hitting me, as he couldn't work out how to hit someone who was lying
down.

--
Colin
 
"Richard Bates" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> On Mon, 21 Mar 2005 15:18:14 -0000, "wafflycat"
> <wafflesATv21netDOTcoDOTuk> wrote:
>
>>Support. Next full moon I'll make a wax effigy of Golf with driver and
>>whilst chanting strange chants & dancing nekkid round the willow tree in
>>the
>
> Where do you live again?
>

In the direction of the hysterical screaming as any onlookers lose their
sanity ;-)

Cheers, helen s


> --
> Microsoft Sam speaks his mind:
> www.artybee.net/sam_speaks_his_mind.mp3
 
wafflycat wrote:
> Support.

And more support.

> Next full moon I'll make a wax effigy of Golf with driver and
> whilst chanting strange chants & dancing nekkid round the willow tree in the
> garden...

Is that as effective as it used to be, now that there's less of you?

--
Danny Colyer (the UK company has been laughed out of my reply address)
<URL:http://www.speedy5.freeserve.co.uk/danny/>
"He who dares not offend cannot be honest." - Thomas Paine
 
On Mon, 21 Mar 2005 19:19:17 +0000, Danny Colyer
<[email protected]> wrote:

>wafflycat wrote:
>> Support.
>
>And more support.
>
>> Next full moon I'll make a wax effigy of Golf with driver and
>> whilst chanting strange chants & dancing nekkid round the willow tree in the
>> garden...
>
>Is that as effective as it used to be, now that there's less of you?

Same quality in a smaller quantity.

--
Microsoft Sam speaks his mind:
www.artybee.net/sam_speaks_his_mind.mp3
 
"Danny Colyer" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> wafflycat wrote:
>> Support.
>
> And more support.
>
>> Next full moon I'll make a wax effigy of Golf with driver and whilst
>> chanting strange chants & dancing nekkid round the willow tree in the
>> garden...
>
> Is that as effective as it used to be, now that there's less of you?
>


I refer the honourable gentleman to Mr Bates's reply on this issue. High
quality same as ever, just smaller quantity. Still same terror factor ;-)

Cheers, helen s
 
"Bernard" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>
> "wafflycat" <wafflesATv21netDOTcoDOTuk> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
> >
> > "John Hearns" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> > news:p[email protected]...
> >>I need some group support.
> >> Or a slap round the chops and some advice to calm down...
> >>
> >
> >
> > Support. Next full moon I'll make a wax effigy of Golf with driver and
> > whilst chanting strange chants & dancing nekkid round the willow tree in
> > the garden, said driver will be duly cursed for the next thousand years,
> > with the seed of his loins impaired forever.
> >
> > Will that do?
> >
> > Cheers, helen s
> What happens if you get the wrong driver? :)
>
> Bernard

Is that possible??
 
in message <[email protected]>, John Hearns
('[email protected]') wrote:

> I need some group support.
> Or a slap round the chops and some advice to calm down...
>
> Out riding, along a two-way street.
> Come to central 'pedestrian refuge'. I move out to almost
> (not quite) the centre of the road, to prevent cars squeezing past me.
> I always swing in after this pinch point.
> After the pinch, cue Golf driver beeping his horn at me.
> I reply "Don't sound your horn at me"
> Cue door opening, "F*** off", I think I may have done a wee
> sweary-word in reply, and said "You won;t push me off the road".
> Cue ****** driver pulling in at speed into sidestreet on left, getting
> out of car to challenge me with shouting and swearing.
> I continued on my way, eyeing up possible escape routes should he
> drive after me. I think there was a woman with him in the car.

Another time, either (i) ostentatiously take out your phone and make a
call, or (ii) (if no phone) ostentatiously write his registration down.
Better not to swear at them.

--
[email protected] (Simon Brooke) http://www.jasmine.org.uk/~simon/
;; Generally Not Used
;; Except by Middle Aged Computer Scientists
 
On Mon, 21 Mar 2005 21:46:29 +0000, Simon Brooke wrote:

> in message <[email protected]>, John Hearns
> ('[email protected]') wrote:
>
> Better not to swear at them.

Come on. I am a Bankie (*). They had swearing classes
at primary school.
Smile.



(*) Native of Clydebank. Not a Glaswegian.
 
"John Hearns" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:p[email protected]...
> On Mon, 21 Mar 2005 21:46:29 +0000, Simon Brooke wrote:
>
> > in message <[email protected]>, John Hearns
> > ('[email protected]') wrote:
> >
> > Better not to swear at them.
>
> Come on. I am a Bankie (*). They had swearing classes
> at primary school.
> Smile.

You had classes?

In my part of London we learnt a very varied vocabulary while at the ***.

:~)
 
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