Thieving Gits (UK)



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In article <[email protected]>, [email protected] says...
> Phil Squire wrote:
> > "Cinder Girl" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> > news:[email protected]...
> >>
> >> Grrrrr. Sorry to hear about this! I've often wished it were possible to install some sort of
> >> defense mechanism on my bike.
> >
> > What about a hidden GPS like that thing you can get for cars? Activated by a phone call, built
> > into the downtube and weightless of course...
>
> Could that GPS be made to contain an explosive device? I like to dream that one day I could wreak
> vengeance in this manner. Mike
>
>
>
I think that the best solution is the exploding bike seat, problem is that the software capable of
acucurate ass (****) recognition would need a supercomputer to run on. On lesser hardware that could
fit in the frame, recognition of the owners bottom could be problematic after a very hot curry sets
off the 'roids, or when that unexpected drop off causes a severe clench.

I agree with the 'cut their goolies off' strategy, oh, and in public too.

Martin
 
**** man, that is the worst thing that could happen. They deserve death. I got a bike stolen a while
back, never saw her again :(

If I ever catch anyone touching my bike Im going to ****ing execute them.

Small Black Dog
 
"Phil.Winterbourne" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Some total ******* broke into my house last night and nicked my bike :-(
>
> The chances are slim but..... if anyone offers you a cheap silver Orange Sub5 with Fox forks
> please let me know. frame No. 19D 02 9206
>
> The good news is I'm insured, but I still want them nicked.

Make sure the insurance don't fob you off with a cheapo bike, like they've done to me in the past.

--
Simon Mason Anlaby East Yorkshire. 53°44'N 0°26'W http://www.simonmason.karoo.net
 
"Just zis Guy, you know?" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> On Fri, 24 Jan 2003 21:25:13 +0000, "Phil.Winterbourne" <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> >Some total ******* broke into my house last night and nicked my bike :-(
>
> I think we all know the proper penalty by now: CUT THEIR GOOLIES OFF! It's the only language these
> people understand.

A conservative is a liberal who's been mugged ;-)

Scott Leckey
 
Mike Vandeman <[email protected]> wrote:

>
> .Some total ******* broke into my house last night and nicked my bike :-(
>
> He did you a BIG favor, saving you from a painful death....

Urghhhh!

I had forgotten how putrid alt.mountain-bike's resident troll could be, he makes Dugh
sound sane! ;-(
 
Surgius wrote:
> "Mike Vandeman" <[email protected]> wrote in message

Stop this cross posting NOW.

You have committed a cardinal sin, you have allowed MV access to the UK, despite all our Nation's
enhanced security checks.

We have no paving slab protection against this erudite moron so whether you know of his activities
or not please do Block Sender now. Mike
 
On Fri, 24 Jan 2003 22:54:19 +0000, chris French <[email protected]> wrote:

>>I think we all know the proper penalty by now: CUT THEIR GOOLIES OFF! It's the only language these
>>people understand.

>What appropriate punishment do you suggest for women Guy.......?

As should be obvious to any gentleman, ladies would surely never stoop so low as to nick
someone's bike.

Guy
===
** WARNING ** This posting may contain traces of irony. http://www.chapmancentral.com (BT ADSL and
dynamic DNS permitting)
NOTE: BT Openworld have now blocked port 25 (without notice), so old mail addresses may no longer
work. Apologies.
 
On Sat, 25 Jan 2003 10:00:14 -0000, "Taywood" <[email protected]> wrote:

>We have no paving slab protection against this erudite moron

Erudite? I think you mean "luddite." Or possibly "Bag'o'shite" :)

Guy
===
** WARNING ** This posting may contain traces of irony. http://www.chapmancentral.com (BT ADSL and
dynamic DNS permitting)
NOTE: BT Openworld have now blocked port 25 (without notice), so old mail addresses may no longer
work. Apologies.
 
"MattB" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]...
> "Cinder Girl" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
> >
> > "Phil.Winterbourne" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> > news:[email protected]...
> > > Some total ******* broke into my house last night and nicked my bike
:-(
> > >
> > > The chances are slim but..... if anyone offers you a cheap silver
Orange
> > > Sub5 with Fox forks please let me know. frame No. 19D 02 9206
> > >
> > > The good news is I'm insured, but I still want them nicked.
> > >
> > > Phil
> >
> > Grrrrr. Sorry to hear about this! I've often wished it were possible
to
> > install some sort of defense mechanism on my bike. Maybe a nice
electric
> > shock if you touch my bike. Of course the practical implications of
this
> > are many ... how would I power such a system, what happens if I have it
> set
> > to "toast" and some innocent accidentally brushes my bike. But still,
> after
> > having my bike stolen I wish I wish I wish!!!!
> >
> >
>
> A better solution (barring the powering limitations you mention) would be
a
> remotely activated electro-shock and homing device. Once you know your
bike
> is gone, activate the device to stop anyone who may be in contact with it and send out a
> homing signal.
>
> Of course just the homing signal like they put in cars would be pretty
good
> too. Just not the instant revenge/gratification of harming the thief.
>
> Matt

Actually it should be quite possible to install a dirty great big capacitor somewhere and a couple
of electrodes into the top of the seat (maybe slight forward?). I'm not electrical engineer but you
should be able to remotely set off atleast one almightly jolt to the goolies. How about one of those
electroshock zapper gun-things that the police use? Modify one of them? They aren't that big are
they? They fire little electrodes on the ends of cables out. And they have to pack coils of wire and
a propulsion mechansim in too.

Westie
 
On Sat, 25 Jan 2003 05:17:00 GMT, "Surgius" <[email protected]> wrote:

. ."Mike Vandeman" <[email protected]> wrote in message
.news:p[email protected]... .> On Fri, 24 Jan 2003 21:25:13 +0000,
"Phil.Winterbourne" .> <[email protected]> wrote: .> .> .Some total ******* broke into
my house last night and nicked my bike :-( .> .> He did you a BIG favor, saving you from a painful
death.... . .Are you threatening him?

Of course not. Mountain bikers are their own worst enemy. A LARGE percentage of them end up maiming
or even killing themselves. Undoubtedly the same fate awaits you.

.I have already forwarded this message to your ISP, and the police.

Idiot. I'm sure they are glad to hear from you. :)

===
I am working on creating wildlife habitat that is off-limits to humans ("pure habitat"). Want to
help? (I spent the previous 8 years fighting auto dependence and road construction.)

http://home.pacbell.net/mjvande
 
"Phil.Winterbourne" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>
>
> Phil Squire wrote:
<snip>
> How about a hidden spike in the seat tube set to go off once someone is sitting on it and it's
> armed. I could just press the button now and go to bed with a vindictive smile on my face.
>
> Phil

ROTFLMAO!

Westie
 
On Sat, 25 Jan 2003 10:00:14 -0000, "Taywood" <[email protected]> wrote:

.Surgius wrote: .> "Mike Vandeman" <[email protected]> wrote in message . .Stop this cross posting
NOW. . .You have committed a cardinal sin, you have allowed .MV access to the UK, despite all our
Nation's enhanced .security checks.

Too late. I was already there in July. Not a very attractive place to visit, I must say. Except for
the great Indian restaurants. :)

.We have no paving slab protection against this erudite moron .so whether you know of his activities
or not .please do Block Sender now. .Mike

===
I am working on creating wildlife habitat that is off-limits to humans ("pure habitat"). Want to
help? (I spent the previous 8 years fighting auto dependence and road construction.)

http://home.pacbell.net/mjvande
 
On Sun, 26 Jan 2003 11:32:05 +1300, "Westie" <[email protected]> wrote:

. ."Phil.Winterbourne" <[email protected]> wrote in message
.news:[email protected]... .> .> .> Phil Squire wrote: .<snip> .> How about a hidden
spike in the seat tube set to go off once someone is .> sitting on it and it's armed. I could just
press the button now and go .> to bed with a vindictive smile on my face. .> .> Phil . .ROTFLMAO!
. .Westie .

===
I am working on creating wildlife habitat that is off-limits to humans ("pure habitat"). Want to
help? (I spent the previous 8 years fighting auto dependence and road construction.)

http://home.pacbell.net/mjvande
 
"Mike Vandeman" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:p[email protected]...
> On Fri, 24 Jan 2003 21:25:13 +0000, "Phil.Winterbourne" <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> .Some total ******* broke into my house last night and nicked my bike :-(
>
> He did you a BIG favor, saving you from a painful death....
>
> .The chances are slim but..... if anyone offers you a cheap silver Orange .Sub5 with Fox forks
> please let me know. frame No. 19D 02 9206 . .The good news is I'm insured, but I still want them
> nicked. . .Phil
>
> ===
> I am working on creating wildlife habitat that is off-limits to humans ("pure habitat"). Want to
> help? (I spent the previous 8 years fighting auto dependence and road construction.)
>
> http://home.pacbell.net/mjvande
 
Mike Vanderman wrote:-

> Too late. I was already there in July. Not a very attractive place to
visit, I
> must say. Except for the great Indian restaurants. :)
>

And please tell, Mr Vanderman, what environmentally sound method of transportation did you use to
travel to these shores????
 
I'd post an untrimmed copy of someone else's post, but that would be as much of a waste of bendwidth
as an authentic Vandespam.

===
MV is working on creating usenet postings that are off-limits to sense ("pure ********"). Want to
help? (he spent the previous 8 years flooding usenet with ****.)
 
"Surgius" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:<
> > .Some total ******* broke into my house last night and nicked my bike :-( .The chances are slim
> > but..... if anyone offers you a cheap silver Orange .Sub5 with Fox forks please let me know.
> > frame No. 19D 02 9206

Sorry about your bike - hope you get it back - reminds me of funny story. A certain Fairfax realtor
and mountain biker known for illegal trail building reported to the Fairfax Police Department that
his bike had been stolen. The very next day he was cited for riding illegally on public land on the
very bike he'd claimed was stolen! Terri
http://homepage.mac.com/terrialvillar/mountainbikedamage/PhotoAlbum11.html
 
"Terri Alvillar" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
| "Surgius" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:<
| > > .Some total ******* broke into my house last night and nicked my bike
:-(
| > > .The chances are slim but..... if anyone offers you a cheap silver
Orange
| > > .Sub5 with Fox forks please let me know. frame No. 19D 02 9206
|
|
| Sorry about your bike - hope you get it back - reminds me of funny story. A certain Fairfax
| realtor and mountain biker known for illegal trail building reported to the Fairfax Police
| Department that his bike had been stolen. The very next day he was cited for riding illegally on
| public land on the very bike he'd claimed was stolen! Terri
| http://homepage.mac.com/terrialvillar/mountainbikedamage/PhotoAlbum11.html

Is this the return of MV?

Simon....suspicious!
 
Simon wrote/PhotoAlbum11.html
>
> Is this the return of MV?
>
> Simon....suspicious!

Simon would you please get your head out of your ass and 1. stop replying to thiis stuff and 2. stop
crossposting it???
 
"penny s" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]...
| Simon wrote/PhotoAlbum11.html
| >
| > Is this the return of MV?
| >
| > Simon....suspicious!
|
| Simon would you please get your head out of your ass and 1. stop replying
to
| thiis stuff and 2. stop crossposting it???
|

Not that flexible my dear.
1. what does it matter to which I reply, if you dont like it block me!
2. I didnt realise it was cross posted, but what does it matter.

Simon.........Freedom of speech, freedom of text, freedom to block!
 
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