English! A strange language!

Lazy legs

New Member
Feb 27, 2002
All Greek to me!!!

We sometimes take English for granted. But if we examine its paradoxes we find some quicksand that takes you down slowly!! Boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
There is no egg in the eggplant, no ham in the hamburger and neither pine nor apple in the pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England; French fries were not invented in France.
If writers write, why don’t fingers fing? If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn’t the plural of phone booth be phone beeth? If the teacher taught, did the preacher praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what the heck does a humanitarian eat?
You have to marvel the unique lunacy of a language where a house can burn up as it burns down and in which you fill in a form by filling it out and a bell is only heard once it goes!!
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? Why is a person who invests all your money called a broker? Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race-car not called a racist? Why are a wise man and wise guy opposites? If horrific means to instill horror does terrific mean to instill terror?
Why isn’t 11 pronounced onety-one? If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disorientated? If people from Poland are called “Poles”, why aren’t people from Holland called “Holes”?
Well, it reflects the creativity of the human race (which isn’t a race at all). And why is it that when I wind up my watch it starts, but when I wind up this story it ends?