The Great Helmet Debate



D

Danny Colyer

Guest
When I post to a thread I always mark that thread as
watched. I consider that I then have a responsibility to
keep an eye on that thread, so that if someone responds to
my post I am then able to reply in turn if appropriate.

For this reason I tend to refrain from posting to helmet
threads. I'll state from the outset that I may make an
exception for this thread, if it degenerates into yet
another long and futile battle in the Helmet Wars. I really
hope it doesn't.

Anyway, I've drafted a page with my thoughts on the debate.
It focuses more on the characteristics of the debaters than
on the actual content of the debate, but I think
understanding the people you're arguing with is actually
quite important: <url:http://www.speedy5.freeserve.co.uk/da-
nny/cycling/ghd.html>

Constructive criticism welcome, especially if anyone feels
I've misrepresented the group they'd position themselves in.
I'm particularly keen to find a less inflammatory name for
the Informed Ignoramus - I think I had a better name when I
first had the idea for the page, but I've forgotten it.

--
Danny Colyer (the UK company has been laughed out of my
reply address)
<url:http://www.speedy5.freeserve.co.uk/danny/> "He who
dares not offend cannot be honest." - Thomas Paine
 
Danny Colyer <[email protected]> wrote in message news:<[email protected]>...

>
> I've drafted a page with my thoughts on the debate. It
> focuses more on the characteristics of the debaters than
> on the actual content of the debate, but I think
> understanding the people you're arguing with is actually
> quite important: <url:http://www.speedy5.freeserve.co.uk/-
> danny/cycling/ghd.html>
>
> Constructive criticism welcome, especially if anyone
> feels I've misrepresented the group they'd position
> themselves in. I'm particularly keen to find a less
> inflammatory name for the Informed Ignoramus - I think I
> had a better name when I first had the idea for the page,
> but I've forgotten it.

Linnaeus himself would be pleased with your classifications.
As it happens I have self-published a monograph on the
subject of helmets and the quality of the brains they
purport to protect; one day I plan to make it available to
the public, when I deem the 'common man' to be ready for my
startling revelations. In the mean-while I shall content
myself with relating the following anecdote:

The former Mrs Blovius and I chose as the locus of our
honeymoon an ill-fated tour of the west country (Dorking in
particular), by tandem bicycle. She was at that time subject
to a nervous condition which she later overcame thanks to
the salubrious and bracing effect of my personality but
which inevitably contributed to a generally disappointing
experience awheel. My new bride insisted as a precondition
to mounting the tandem that the captaincy be awarded to
herself, her reasoning being that she didn't trust my skills
in that department on the basis of a few minor skirmishes I
had been party to during our engagement. Readers, she
considered me un-roadworthy! This is unmitigated hogwash; I
am perfectly capable of piloting any given vehicle on a safe
trajectory along the Queen's Highway provided I am not
surrounded by the phrenologically-challenged. However, in
the spirit of marital harmony I acquiesced.

Our 'maiden voyage' was much smoother than I anticipated,
thanks in large measure to my expert instructions and
helpful running commentary. All went well for several
hundreds of feet, at which point Gertrude unexpectedly put
an abrupt halt to our fine momentum. This not being a course
of action I had anticipated, my normally excellent sense of
balance vacated me. I toppled off unceremoniously, striking
my head against my bride's whalebone corset along the way.
She was surprisingly unapologetic, positing that not only
had I insisted upon the garment which had just gored me but
that I was in some sense responsible: 'too much talking and
not enough pedalling' was how she unkindly put it whilst
briskly attending to my flesh wound. It was then that it
occurred to me that if only for the sake of future
generations of scientists my head be properly swaddled in
hardy materials.

Ever after I have worn a helmet of my own devising,
eschewing sissyboy foam and polystyrene in favour of
whalebone and leather, cinched tight.

Theodore Blovius II (esq.)
 
Danny Colyer wrote:

> When I post to a thread I always mark that thread as
> watched. I consider that I then have a responsibility to
> keep an eye on that thread, so that if someone responds to
> my post I am then able to reply in turn if appropriate.
>
> For this reason I tend to refrain from posting to helmet
> threads. I'll state from the outset that I may make an
> exception for this thread, if it degenerates into yet
> another long and futile battle in the Helmet Wars. I
> really hope it doesn't.
>
> Anyway, I've drafted a page with my thoughts on the
> debate. It focuses more on the characteristics of the
> debaters than on the actual content of the debate, but I
> think understanding the people you're arguing with is
> actually quite important: <url:http://www.speedy5.freeser-
> ve.co.uk/danny/cycling/ghd.html>
>
> Constructive criticism welcome, especially if anyone
> feels I've misrepresented the group they'd position
> themselves in. I'm particularly keen to find a less
> inflammatory name for the Informed Ignoramus - I think I
> had a better name when I first had the idea for the page,
> but I've forgotten it.
>
Anti-helmet reactionary here then :)

I have owned three in my lifetime. The first one (a Vetta
thing with no plastic skin) was horribly uncomfortable. The
second one (a Giro Air Blast) wasn't bad but melted in the
car on a hot day. The current one (Specialized Sub 6) is the
most uncomfortable yet. I only wear it on the track, because
helmet compulsion has already arrived there. Being choked
doesn't help my performance much.
 
> Constructive criticism welcome, especially if anyone
> feels I've misrepresented the group they'd position
> themselves in.

My sister recently told me off for not wearing a helmet (as
it happens, I do wear one most of the time, I just didn't on
this occasion). I reckon I'm an Informed Sceptic. My sister
is definitely a Clueless Newbie. You will be interested to
hear that she is also a nurse.

d.
 
"Sam" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...

> commentary. All went well for several hundreds of feet, at
> which point Gertrude unexpectedly put an abrupt halt to
> our fine momentum. This not being a course of action I had
> anticipated, my normally excellent sense of balance
> vacated me. I toppled off unceremoniously, striking my
> head against my bride's whalebone corset along the way.
...
> Ever after I have worn a helmet of my own devising,
> eschewing sissyboy foam and polystyrene in favour of
> whalebone and leather, cinched tight.

Last w/e we demonstrated that helmets don't help in this
circumstance - Sarah was sitting up navigating when some
lambs decided to be in front of us, necessitating some
rather sharp braking. Her helmet (we were doing off road
stuff) hit my back, cricking her neck in a way that it
wouldn't have without the helmet on.

Fortunately she saw the lambs just before she hit me/her
handlebars so I didn't get shouted at..

cheers, clive
 
On 6 May 2004 04:30:26 -0700 someone who may be [email protected]
(Sam) wrote this:-

>Ever after I have worn a helmet of my own devising,
>eschewing sissyboy foam and polystyrene in favour of
>whalebone and leather, cinched tight.

I like it. Pictures please:)

As the monograph mentions "the former Mrs Blovius"
perhaps the helmet could be paid for by charging people
to lace it up:)

--
David Hansen, Edinburgh | PGP email preferred-key number
F566DA0E I will always explain revoked keys, unless the UK
government prevents me using the RIP Act 2000.
 
Theodore, being nothing more than a man, is blessed with the
memory of an addled sheep, but no great harm done - I am
here to set the record straight.

While it is true that our honeymoon in the general vicinity
of Dorking had its moments of high and low comedy, the
incident of the tandem fits into an entirely different
category altogether: tragedy. Sharing a two-seater with
Theodore is like being tied to a mast with Captain Queeg
minus even the promise of strawberries to sweeten the deal.
He is of the disposition that a woman does not belong in
front (or on top, but that's another matter), and should a
woman be so unfortunate as to reverse this natural order of
things, he will expound on the flaws of such an arrangement
at considerable length and volume. While it is not unhealthy
for a man to entertain a certain sense of mastery, or even
to have a passing fondness for ball-bearings in proper
context, there is something to be said for the strong silent
type. Yes, I cut our journey short, and yes, poor Theo took
a tumble, injuring his pride more than anything. However I
have yet to meet a whalebone corset outside of a museum; it
perplexes me that I find myself wearing one simply to
provide my former husband with his 'moment of inspiration'.
What next, clipless stiletto heels?

My less fanciful recollection is that Theo took to wearing a
garden-variety helmet for times when he wished to pursue his
questionable studies in the shed, a ramshackle affair far
more dangerous than even the M25.

(The former Mrs) Gertrude Blovius

PS. I am at a loss why Theodore's post appears to have been
delivered by a third party. Might this be the result of
that new computer virus?
 
Simon Brooke wrote:
> Well, you can add me as an Informed Septic. The difference
> being that where the informed sceptic thinks that helmets
> offer little positive benefit, the septic believes that on
> balance helmets are at least as likely to aggravate as to
> mitigate injury.

I meant for the Informed Sceptic to have that opinion. I
like your wording, I've adapted it to my own ends.

> I thought your letter to your MP extremely clear, well
> written and persuasive.

Thank you.

--
Danny Colyer (the UK company has been laughed out of my
reply address)
<url:http://www.speedy5.freeserve.co.uk/danny/> "He who
dares not offend cannot be honest." - Thomas Paine
 
Theodore Blovius II (esq.) (posing as Sam) wrote:
> Linnaeus himself would be pleased with your
> classifications. As it happens I have self-published a
> monograph on the subject of helmets and the quality of the
> brains they purport to protect; one day I plan to make it
> available to the public, when I deem the 'common man' to
> be ready for my startling revelations.

If you mean the piece published in the back of the April
issue of C+ under the name of one of your alter-egos, I was
hunting for it on Bikereader last night in the hope of
adding a link. I enjoyed that article.

--
Danny Colyer (the UK company has been laughed out of my
reply address)
<url:http://www.speedy5.freeserve.co.uk/danny/> "He who
dares not offend cannot be honest." - Thomas Paine
 
"davek" <[email protected]> wrote in news:c7fhe3$15u$1
@hercules.btinternet.com:

> My sister is definitely a Clueless Newbie. You will be
> interested to hear that she is also a nurse.

I suffer from a similar problem. My wife is also a nurse who
has worked in a neuro ward in the past. "The number of
cyclists we had in who had serious head injuries...." It
doesn't matter how often I point out that she is not seeing
a representative sample of the population and by definition
will always see the worst cases (well, at least those still
breathing). I've given up even trying now.

Graeme
 
> > All went well for several hundreds of feet, at which
> > point Gertrude unexpectedly put an abrupt halt to our
> > fine momentum. This not being a course of action I had
> > anticipated, my normally excellent sense of balance
> > vacated me. I toppled off unceremoniously, striking my
> > head against my bride's whalebone corset along the way.
>
> Last w/e we demonstrated that helmets don't help in this
> circumstance - Sarah was sitting up navigating when some
> lambs decided to be in front of us, necessitating some
> rather sharp braking. Her helmet (we were doing off road
> stuff) hit my back, cricking her neck in a way that it
> wouldn't have without the helmet on.
>
> Fortunately she saw the lambs just before she hit me/her
> handlebars so I didn't get shouted at..
>
Although I am a vegetarian and am relieved that bloodshed
was averted, Theodore would have preferred to break out the
mint sauce.
 
David Hansen <[email protected]> wrote in message news:<[email protected]>...
>
> >Ever after I have worn a helmet of my own devising,
> >eschewing sissyboy foam and polystyrene in favour of
> >whalebone and leather, cinched tight.
>
> I like it. Pictures please:)
>
> As the monograph mentions "the former Mrs Blovius"
> perhaps the helmet could be paid for by charging people
> to lace it up:)

My dear Mr Hansen, although it is true that Theodore
anticipated many 'Kodak moments' as we explored our feelings
for each-other, and was careful to pack a camera, the film
was later confiscated by our B&B landlady in lieu of payment
for a damaged trouser press.

(The former Mrs Theodore) Gertrude Blovius
 
Danny Colyer <[email protected]> wrote in message news:<[email protected]>...
> Theodore Blovius II (esq.) wrote:
> > Linnaeus himself would be pleased with your
> > classifications. As it happens I have self-published a
> > monograph on the subject of helmets and the quality of
> > the brains they purport to protect; one day I plan to
> > make it available to the public, when I deem the 'common
> > man' to be ready for my startling revelations.
>
> If you mean the piece published in the back of the April
> issue of C+ under the name of one of your alter-egos, I
> was hunting for it on Bikereader last night in the hope of
> adding a link. I enjoyed that article.

I found myself at the website in question after accidentally
'googling' something dreadfully inappropriate due to
keyboard error (the cause of many heart-attacks amongst the
elderly and well-reared, according to the British Journal of
Medicine); the contributor roster may be long and
occasionally illustrious, but the lapses in taste and good
sense are equally astonishing.

After much frustrating navigating and wincing, I located the
relevant article here [
http://bikereader.com/solo/Hword.html ], lurking in an
apparent subset of the main bikereader site devoted
exclusively to the writings of one of the lesser lights in
the literary firmament. This particular spider-hole is
accessed via clicking on the recumbent gentleman
irritatingly lounging about on the main page.

Suffice it to say I cut, pasted, and immediately fled
the scene.

(the former Mrs Theodore) Gertrude Blovius

PS. To my knowledge, Theodore's monograph remains
unpublished because he has yet to locate a vanity press
which will accept a manuscript in crayon. The
illustrations alone are enough to get him listed by the
authorities as a candidate for electronic tagging.
 
Gertrude Blovius wrote:
> After much frustrating navigating and wincing, I located
> the relevant article here [
> http://bikereader.com/solo/Hword.html ], lurking in an
> apparent subset of the main bikereader site devoted
> exclusively to the writings of one of the lesser lights in
> the literary firmament. This particular spider-hole is
> accessed via clicking on the recumbent gentleman
> irritatingly lounging about on the main page.

Thank you Gertrude. I have added the link, and I think I may
explore that particular spider-hole a little more.

--
Danny Colyer (the UK company has been laughed out of my
reply address)
<url:http://www.speedy5.freeserve.co.uk/danny/> "He who
dares not offend cannot be honest." - Thomas Paine
 
Simon Brooke <[email protected]> wrote in news:2kctm1-nvn.ln1
@gododdin.internal.jasmine.org.uk:

> Does she know what proportion of them were actually
> wearing helmets at the time?
>

She remembers it as being very low, which she uses as part
of her argument in favour of helmets. As this was about 13-
15 years ago then the low proportion is probably right.

Graeme
 
posted by Davek


My sister recently told me off for not wearing a helmet (as
it happens, I do wear one most of the time, I just didn't on
this occasion). I reckon I'm an Informed Sceptic. My sister
is definitely a Clueless Newbie. You will be interested to
hear that she is also a nurse.
Click to expand...

Tangentally, the mention of nurse's heart bleeding wail for helmets reminds me of (this is plagiarised):

"Consider the famous response of Goethe to the humanitarian Frau von Stein, who wrote him in 1787 exalting the moral progress of their time. "Also, I must say myself," he replied, "I think it true that humanity will triumph eventually, only I fear that at the same time the world will become a large hospital and each will become the other's humane nurse." Goethe feared a world in which the sole criterion for virtue would be solicitude for the suffering, a world in which "I feel your pain, won't you please feel mine?" would replace all more exacting--and ennobling--standards.

And that reminds me of another quote, this time Thoreau:

If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house with the conscious design of doing me good, I should run for my life.

Roger
 
RogerDodger <[email protected]> wrote in message news:<[email protected]>...
> wrote:
> > posted by Davek My sister recently told me off for
> > not wearing a helmet (as it happens, I do wear one
> > most of the time, I just didn't on this occasion). I
> > reckon I'm an Informed Sceptic. My sister is
> > definitely a Clueless Newbie. You will be interested
> > to hear that she is also a nurse.
>
>
>
> Tangentally, the mention of nurse's heart bleeding wail
> for helmets reminds me of (this is plagiarised):
>
> "Consider the famous response of Goethe to the
> humanitarian Frau von Stein, who wrote him in 1787
> exalting the moral progress of their time. "Also, I must
> say myself," he replied, "I think it true that humanity
> will triumph eventually, only I fear that at the same time
> the world will become a large hospital and each will
> become the other's humane nurse." Goethe feared a world in
> which the sole criterion for virtue would be solicitude
> for the suffering, a world in which "I feel your pain,
> won't you please feel mine?" would replace all more exacting--
> and ennobling--standards.
>
> And that reminds me of another quote, this time Thoreau:
>
> If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my
> house with the conscious design of doing me good, I should
> run for my life.
>
> Roger
>
Sir! A man who can fearlessly introduce Goethe into this
thorny topic of debate is to be reckoned with. As the
polymath himself said just before he shuffled off this
mortal coil, "More light!" Theodore Blovius (esq.)
 
Theodore Blovius esq. wrote:
>
> Sir! A man who can fearlessly introduce Goethe into this
> thorny topic of debate is to be reckoned with. As the
> polymath himself said just before he shuffled off this
> mortal coil, "More light!" Theodore Blovius (esq.)

I believe, Sir, that it was actually the rather pedestrian
"Macht doch den zweiten Fensterladen auch auf, damit mehr
Licht hereinkomme" (Open the second shutter, so that more
light can come in.). However his publisher, being seduced by
the growing fashion for soundbites, decided "Mehr Licht!"
was a more media friendly epitaph for his great client.

Tony
 
Danny Colyer <[email protected]> wrote in message news:<[email protected]>...
> Gertrude Blovius wrote:
> > After much frustrating navigating and wincing, I located
> > the relevant article here [
> > http://bikereader.com/solo/Hword.html ], lurking in an
> > apparent subset of the main bikereader site devoted
> > exclusively to the writings of one of the lesser lights
> > in the literary firmament. This particular spider-hole
> > is accessed via clicking on the recumbent gentleman
> > irritatingly lounging about on the main page.
>
> I have added the link, and I think I may explore
> that particular spider-hole a little more.

Cheers, Danny. I've added a link to your site - speaking of
which, I'm also considering taking up juggling, as it's
something I have a little experience in.
 
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