Usada Aquits Floyd!!!
- Thread starter Lonnie Utah
- Start date
With appologies to monty python....
CROWD:
A Doper! A Doper! A Doper! A Doper! We've found a Doper! A Doper! A Doper! A Doper! A Doper! We've got a Doper! A Doper! A Doper! Burn him! Burn him! Burn him! We've found a Doper! We've found a Doper! A Doper! A Doper! A Doper!
VILLAGER #1:
We have found a Doper. May we burn him?
CROWD:
Burn him! Burn! Burn him! Burn him!
BEDEVERE:
How do you know he is a Doper?
VILLAGER #2:
He looks like one.
CROWD:
Right! Yeah! Yeah!
BEDEVERE:
Bring him forward.
Floyd:
I'm not a Doper. I'm not a Doper.
BEDEVERE:
Uh, but you are dressed as one.
Floyd:
They dressed me up like this.
CROWD:
Augh, we didn't! We didn't...
Floyd:
And this isn't my nose. It's a false one.
BEDEVERE:
Well?
VILLAGER #1:
Well, we did do the nose.
BEDEVERE:
The nose?
VILLAGER #1:
And the hat, but he is a Doper!
VILLAGER #2:
Yeah!
CROWD:
We burn him! Right! Yeaaah! Yeaah!
BEDEVERE:
Did you dress him up like this?
VILLAGER #1:
No!
VILLAGER #2 and 3:
No. No.
VILLAGER #2:
No.
VILLAGER #1:
No.
VILLAGERS #2 and #3:
No.
VILLAGER #1:
Yes.
VILLAGER #2:
Yes.
VILLAGER #1:
Yes. Yeah, a bit.
VILLAGER #3:
A bit.
VILLAGERS #1 and #2:
A bit.
VILLAGER #3:
A bit.
VILLAGER #1:
He has got a wart.
RANDOM:
[cough]
BEDEVERE:
What makes you think he is a Doper?
VILLAGER #3:
Well, he beat me in a race!
BEDEVERE:
He beat you in a race?
VILLAGER #3:
I am French.
VILLAGER #2:
Burn him anyway!
VILLAGER #1:
Burn!
CROWD:
Burn him! Burn! Burn him!...
BEDEVERE:
Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! There are ways of telling if he is a Doper.
VILLAGER #1:
Are are?
VILLAGER #2:
Ah?
VILLAGER #1:
What are they?
CROWD:
Tell us! Tell us!...
BEDEVERE:
Tell me. What do you do with Dopers?
VILLAGER #2:
Burn!
VILLAGER #1:
Burn!
CROWD:
Burn! Burn them up! Burn!...
BEDEVERE:
And what do you burn apart from Dopers?
VILLAGER #1:
More Dopers!
VILLAGER #3:
Shh!
VILLAGER #2:
Wood!
BEDEVERE:
So, why do Dopers burn?
[pause]
VILLAGER #3:
B--... 'cause they're made of... wood?
BEDEVERE:
Good! Heh heh.
CROWD:
Oh, yeah. Oh.
BEDEVERE:
So, how do we tell we tell if he is made of wood?
VILLAGER #1:
Build a bridge out of him.
BEDEVERE:
Ah, but can you not also make bridges out of stone?
VILLAGER #1:
Oh, yeah.
RANDOM:
Oh, yeah. True. Uhh...
BEDEVERE:
Does wood sink in water?
VILLAGER #1:
No. No.
VILLAGER #2:
No, it floats! It floats!
VILLAGER #1:
Throw him into the pond!
CROWD:
The pond! Throw him into the pond!
BEDEVERE:
What also floats in water?
VILLAGER #1:
Bread!
VILLAGER #2:
Apples!
VILLAGER #3:
Uh, very small rocks!
VILLAGER #1:
Cider!
VILLAGER #2:
Uh, gra-- gravy!
VILLAGER #1:
Chimries!
VILLAGER #2:
Mud!
VILLAGER #3:
Uh, churches! Churches!
VILLAGER #2:
Lead! Lead!
ARTHUR:
A duck!
CROWD:
Oooh.
BEDEVERE:
Exactly. So, logically...
VILLAGER #1:
If... he... weighs... the same as a duck,... he's made of wood.
BEDEVERE:
And therefore?
VILLAGER #2:
A Doper!
VILLAGER #1:
A Doper!
CROWD:
A Doper! A Doper!...
VILLAGER #4:
Her is a duck. Use this duck.
[quack quack quack]
BEDEVERE:
Very good. We shall use my largest scales.
CROWD:
Ohh! Ohh! Burn the Doper! Burn the Doper! Burn him! Burn him! Burn him! Burn him! Burn him! Burn him! Burn him! Ahh! Ahh...
BEDEVERE:
Right. Remove the supports!
[whop]
[clunk]
[creak]
CROWD:
A Doper! A Doper! A Doper!
Floyd:
It's a fair court.
CROWD:
A Doper! A Doper! A Doper! A Doper! We've found a Doper! A Doper! A Doper! A Doper! A Doper! We've got a Doper! A Doper! A Doper! Burn him! Burn him! Burn him! We've found a Doper! We've found a Doper! A Doper! A Doper! A Doper!
VILLAGER #1:
We have found a Doper. May we burn him?
CROWD:
Burn him! Burn! Burn him! Burn him!
BEDEVERE:
How do you know he is a Doper?
VILLAGER #2:
He looks like one.
CROWD:
Right! Yeah! Yeah!
BEDEVERE:
Bring him forward.
Floyd:
I'm not a Doper. I'm not a Doper.
BEDEVERE:
Uh, but you are dressed as one.
Floyd:
They dressed me up like this.
CROWD:
Augh, we didn't! We didn't...
Floyd:
And this isn't my nose. It's a false one.
BEDEVERE:
Well?
VILLAGER #1:
Well, we did do the nose.
BEDEVERE:
The nose?
VILLAGER #1:
And the hat, but he is a Doper!
VILLAGER #2:
Yeah!
CROWD:
We burn him! Right! Yeaaah! Yeaah!
BEDEVERE:
Did you dress him up like this?
VILLAGER #1:
No!
VILLAGER #2 and 3:
No. No.
VILLAGER #2:
No.
VILLAGER #1:
No.
VILLAGERS #2 and #3:
No.
VILLAGER #1:
Yes.
VILLAGER #2:
Yes.
VILLAGER #1:
Yes. Yeah, a bit.
VILLAGER #3:
A bit.
VILLAGERS #1 and #2:
A bit.
VILLAGER #3:
A bit.
VILLAGER #1:
He has got a wart.
RANDOM:
[cough]
BEDEVERE:
What makes you think he is a Doper?
VILLAGER #3:
Well, he beat me in a race!
BEDEVERE:
He beat you in a race?
VILLAGER #3:
I am French.
VILLAGER #2:
Burn him anyway!
VILLAGER #1:
Burn!
CROWD:
Burn him! Burn! Burn him!...
BEDEVERE:
Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! There are ways of telling if he is a Doper.
VILLAGER #1:
Are are?
VILLAGER #2:
Ah?
VILLAGER #1:
What are they?
CROWD:
Tell us! Tell us!...
BEDEVERE:
Tell me. What do you do with Dopers?
VILLAGER #2:
Burn!
VILLAGER #1:
Burn!
CROWD:
Burn! Burn them up! Burn!...
BEDEVERE:
And what do you burn apart from Dopers?
VILLAGER #1:
More Dopers!
VILLAGER #3:
Shh!
VILLAGER #2:
Wood!
BEDEVERE:
So, why do Dopers burn?
[pause]
VILLAGER #3:
B--... 'cause they're made of... wood?
BEDEVERE:
Good! Heh heh.
CROWD:
Oh, yeah. Oh.
BEDEVERE:
So, how do we tell we tell if he is made of wood?
VILLAGER #1:
Build a bridge out of him.
BEDEVERE:
Ah, but can you not also make bridges out of stone?
VILLAGER #1:
Oh, yeah.
RANDOM:
Oh, yeah. True. Uhh...
BEDEVERE:
Does wood sink in water?
VILLAGER #1:
No. No.
VILLAGER #2:
No, it floats! It floats!
VILLAGER #1:
Throw him into the pond!
CROWD:
The pond! Throw him into the pond!
BEDEVERE:
What also floats in water?
VILLAGER #1:
Bread!
VILLAGER #2:
Apples!
VILLAGER #3:
Uh, very small rocks!
VILLAGER #1:
Cider!
VILLAGER #2:
Uh, gra-- gravy!
VILLAGER #1:
Chimries!
VILLAGER #2:
Mud!
VILLAGER #3:
Uh, churches! Churches!
VILLAGER #2:
Lead! Lead!
ARTHUR:
A duck!
CROWD:
Oooh.
BEDEVERE:
Exactly. So, logically...
VILLAGER #1:
If... he... weighs... the same as a duck,... he's made of wood.
BEDEVERE:
And therefore?
VILLAGER #2:
A Doper!
VILLAGER #1:
A Doper!
CROWD:
A Doper! A Doper!...
VILLAGER #4:
Her is a duck. Use this duck.
[quack quack quack]
BEDEVERE:
Very good. We shall use my largest scales.
CROWD:
Ohh! Ohh! Burn the Doper! Burn the Doper! Burn him! Burn him! Burn him! Burn him! Burn him! Burn him! Burn him! Ahh! Ahh...
BEDEVERE:
Right. Remove the supports!
[whop]
[clunk]
[creak]
CROWD:
A Doper! A Doper! A Doper!
Floyd:
It's a fair court.
Lonnie Utah said:
That's insanity! The way you test a possible doper is to throw him in a vat of EPO.
If the EPO accepts him and he sinks to the bottom he is pure and innocent but if he rises out and sprouts wings and flys away he is doper.
I could have is bass- ackwards but it doesn't matter.
You can use gasoline in the place of EPO if needed.
...title may not be far off the mark...just read in "velonews" that f.l.'s lawyer is citing a discrepancy in control numbers on the "b" sample. could be he gets off on a technicality above and beyond the breach of protocol in releasing info before the testing of the "b". again, could be the pesky problems cited in the report which cleared armstrong's epo pee due to numerous procedural errors in the lab's chain of evidence.
http://www.velonews.com/news/fea/10866.0.html
http://www.velonews.com/news/fea/10866.0.html
JohnO said:
They don't use that test anymore. A few years back they were testing a reluctant cyclist and two UCI officials fell in during the struggle.
It was a tragedy as you guessed they had no record of the exact weight of each official and did not know how much **** to dip out.
I don't believe they have used that test since.
It would be nice, so nice, if the samples where taken, analysed, counter analysed, the results given to the UCI/WADA COMPLETELY ACCORDING TO PROCEDURE AND WITHOUT ANY ****ING LEAKS. That way when someone was caught they could be nailed straight away, without any fuss and shafted straight out of the sport.
Lonnie,
You need to re-do your cutting and pasting. What we are talking about with Floyd is the winner of the International Witches' Broomstick race being labelled a witch. Of course he's a frickin' witch. The shock would be if there were a muggle in the race.
You need to re-do your cutting and pasting. What we are talking about with Floyd is the winner of the International Witches' Broomstick race being labelled a witch. Of course he's a frickin' witch. The shock would be if there were a muggle in the race.
slovakguy said:
Far more interesting than that is Pound's response to the concerns raised.
http://www.velonews.com/news/fea/10866.0.html
Far from the foaming at the mount rants, he sounded almost neutral... a wait and see attitude without automatic accusations of guilt. A lot like what one would expect of the head of an impartial oversight organization.
This has been a weird year for cycling.
his bluster may have been a desparate action hoping that f.l. would say yet another admission/explanation, given mcquaid may have known that the numbers did not match. curiously, he does not implicate nazi frogmen switching "b" samples. wonder if they had the day off.
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